Better than expected

[Liahona]

Well, we had mediation today with x. X has been picking fights over anything he could lately. I'm sure he went to this mediation with the attitude of the mediator will "make" me bow to his wishes. What happened is very different; the mediator first listened to x's requests. Then she brought those requests to us and listened to our requests. Then she went back to the room with x and his lawyer and in her words "had a testosterone match." Eventually, she got him to agree to the visitation schedule the court dictated before and to most of the cost of the court appointed 3rd party drop-off place. She also got him to agree to go to therapy with difficult child 1 and that the therapist has a say in how much visitation time he gets. She even got him to agree to let me have all of mother's day weekend. She was very sympathetic with me by the end of this.

I'm amazed that she could do all this. Towards the end I think the mediator and his lawyer were kinda ganging up on him to get him to agree to things.

 

[keista]

Yay! this is no small victory!

 

[Hound dog]

If X is not careful, he's going to push too far and probably wind up losing his visitation. I know courts can be unreasonable and unsympathetic, but even they can only take so much before they've had enough. These people all talk to each other.

Glad it went well and you get to have your Mother's day. You deserve it.

Hugs

 

[TeDo]

Good for you L. That is such good news. And to think that someone will be watching over him and "deciding his privileges". He's being treated like the difficult child that he is. I am soooo happy for you.

 

[Star*]

way to go warrior mom L!!!!!!! dat dah dah daaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!! score one for team LIAHONA!!!!!!!

 

[Liahona]

Thanks guys. There are only a few places I can talk about this and I feel lucky to have you guys here.

 

[buddy]

I am so very happy for you. He is such a scary person and tries so hard to bully you and your son, it is wonderful that you got someone who saw some of this (You have said that people were really buying into his lies and the drop off center people were rather clueless, if I remember right??)....

Now, here's hoping he just settles into this and stops fussing about it so much. Also hoping the therapist who sees him and difficult child will listen to what difficult child says and what he does not say ...but what his behavior says about when he goes to visit.

Have his visits been better? I remember before you had internet problems he was not wanting to go with all the things his dad was saying to him. Have the drop offs been better?

 

[Liahona]

We started having x and difficult child 1 go to therapy together and it really helped. X was on his best behavior because he knew difficult child 1 would tell the therapist (since the therapist was asking difficult child 1 right there in front of him.) Then x moved and stopped going to therapy with difficult child 1. That is why part of the agreement was x going to therapy with difficult child 1.

 

[Star*]

Reminds me of that saying -

You can bs some of the people some of the time - but you can't bs a therapist. (well not a good one anyway) and who knows - maybe X will actually LEARN something and apply it to his crusty self.

 

[rejectedmom]

I'm glad you got a favorable outcome. -RM