Bewildered Grandmother

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Bewildered Grandmother, Jul 8, 2016.

  1. Heather52

    Heather52 Member

    I don't know if anyone has any suggestions. Myself and my husband are going back to our hometown for a vacation to visit famiky and friends. My family knows about our estrangement from our daughter and our grandson. But our friends do not due to geography .

    I know our friends are going to ask about our daughter and grandchild as they watched her grow up. How do I answer their questions? I don't want to disclose anything. I want to enjoy our vacation , that's why we are going , to get away from it all and for awhile just forget.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    "I hope you arent offended, but I would rather not discuss it." if they persist..."Please. I am not going to talk about it." If they keep persisting, thats really rude. Start a new topic. Or leave.

    That's what I do anyways and it has always worked.

    This is toigh but I always think, to avoid drama and gossip, the less I say, the better it is.
  3. Heather52

    Heather52 Member

    Thank you
  4. Albatross

    Albatross Well-Known Member

    I have tried to be pleasant yet vague. "He is out finding himself." "We actually have not talked to him in awhile." Etc.
  5. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    I usually give a tight smile and say, "He's currently out of favor." or if I don't feel like that much conversation, just vague comments like "Oh, he's fine. Nothing new to report."
  6. Childofmine

    Childofmine trying to do this thing one day at a time Staff Member

    I agree BG. Just keep it short, sweet, and truthful. Practice it. Write it down and practice it so it rolls off your tongue when asked. Less is more here. Don't feel the need to explain to people. You truly don't have to. Have a great getaway!
  7. SeekingStrength

    SeekingStrength Well-Known Member

    About a year ago, husband used, "We aren't seeing eye-to-eye right now". The person asking said he completely understood. It worked so well that we have used it several times since - with 100% success.

    I hope your vacation provides you with stress-free fun.
  8. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    I would just focus on the grandchild and say, he sure is growing up fast. Or he is keeping his mom busy! Unless they are close friends I wouldn't want to go in to details about the estrangement. KSM
  9. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    Oh how I dread when someone asks about my son.
    Here's some things I have said before:

    Question: How's your son doing?
    Answer: "He's fine" then I quickly change the subject (while my son lives a life I don't like, he is fine. He's alive)

    Question: What is your son up to?
    Answer: "He's in transition right now trying to figure out what he wants to do with his life" again, I change the subject.

    Wishing you safe travels and a wonderful vacation.
  10. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Keep it simple, I agree with "Fine". Quickly ask about their kids.