I kicked both my husband and my difficult teenage son out of my house today. We found out boy has been hitting his brother on the school bus; we thought the hitting was done, unfortunately he was just being sneakier about it. After the usual nightmare of trying to get it through his head that his actions were wrong, regardless of any perceived provocation (failed) I grounded him from recreational reading. Today I found him reading. Chores were not done, so I reminded him he's grounded and told him to get on his chores. After finding him dawdling for the third time in 5 minutes, he got an attitude. I sent husband to deal with him. Anyway, husband and I ended up in conflict and he physically attacked me, which he's never done before. I managed to lock him outside, and he eventually left. I decided that conflict over boy has too many negative ripples (this is the 2nd marriage that has ended for reasons involving boy and his problems). I called my parents to get him. He'll be staying there now. It was my last resort, my "I give up" option. My other kids told me they're glad boy won't be living with us anymore, that it will be just the three of us, and I have a counselor coming in a few days just in case. They also told me all the things he's been saying to them when I wasn't in earshot. It was all pretty awful, and all false. It's clear the boy hates me, and thinks I'm a bad person, and has felt that way for a very long time. I have to admit I'm even more upset that he had no intention of trying to improve, and I have wasted a decade of effort on him. I also miss my husband so much it hurts, and can't help but feel like none of this would have happened if it weren't for the boy. I have no intention of reaching out to boy, or continuing any effort to improve our relationship. I am done with him, for my own good. But.....I'm torn. I want my husband back, but my kids saw the whole thing, and even though it was almost 100% a one time thing, I don't want to teach them that's OK. Just so lost, I don't know what to do.