BFF Jills son almost overdosed tonight

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by KFld, Nov 16, 2007.

  1. KFld

    KFld New Member

    She was believing he was doing well and was actually pretty convincing, but tonight her and I went out for dinner and as the food was hitting the table she got a call from her husband that he just called 911.

    Her husband, his stepdad, found him out cold, not breathing on the bathroom floor and called 911. When we got to her house the street was lined with police cars, fire trucks and ambulances. He was sitting in the kitchen by the time we got there and then they took him by ambulance to the e.r.

    After 5 hours, they got him a bed in a detox. Sad thing is, he's not ready at all. He doesn't even realize how close he came tonight and all he could worry about was going home for the night, which thank god because I've been through it, Jill was not having any part of. He just kept saying he screwed up because he did too much, not that he screwed up by doing it at all. He kept trying to tell us that he quit for 4 days and he can quit if he wants too and he didn't have to do it, but just wanted to get high. Then he was shocked to find out that they have a warrant out for posession of paraphanalia, will be arrested, most likely be put on probation and his biggest worry is that he won't be able to smoke weed and can't understand why that is such a big deal for him to do.

    I have known this kid since he was 5. I walked up to him and gave him a huge hug, we cried, and I told him I have seen and heard it all and that he couldn't pull it over on me and pretty much let him know I wasn't going to allow him to pull it over on his mother.

    In some ways she's so lucky I have been through this, and then I feel in ways she's not because I know too much. I did not tell her this, but the detox they are sending him too is going to be full of hard core street addicts. Nothing like my difficult child was ever in, but I did not tell her that. I told her to go home and try to get a good nights sleep because he is safe for the night. Knowing where he is going, I'm not really too sure he is safe.

    There were a few places they tried to get him in that they could have had him commited for 5 days, but unfortunatley there were no beds. The only place with a bed is voluntary and I'll be surprised if he stays the night. I told her to lock the doors because she knows he has nothing on him but the shirt on his back.

    tonight was like dejavu. We were in the very same place that I was the night I got the call that my son was arrested for posession and I went to the police station and he admitted he was a heroin addict. How bizarre is that????

    The awesome thing is that her ex came to the emergency room and they pulled together like you wouldn't believe. I told her how important this will be in his recovery that they are already on the same page, even after all they have been through. Her husband, his stepdad, is also, which is so important.

    Well it's way way way past my bedtime. It's 12:30 and I'm on the computer, having a glass of wine and trying to unwind. All this on an empty stomach. Time to go to bed.
  2. wakeupcall

    wakeupcall Well-Known Member

    Oh girl, the drama continues, doesn't it? These types of crises are as upsetting as if they were our own. Our best friends are suffering.....we suffer right along with them. I'm so sorry. I'm sending all of you some strength.

  3. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Oh no, sending hugs and support. It's good she has a friend like you, someone she can talk to, who's been there.So many parents go this route alone.-Alyssa
  4. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member

    Karen, first of all - sending hugs to you and your friend. I know all too well how unsettling and upsetting all that had to be. She's very fortunate to have a friend like you that has been there done that. I think you handled it extremely well - helping with what she needed, but not giving her more info than she needed to hear last night. Kudos to you.

    Sending good thoughts and prayers that this difficult child sees what could have happened, and decides to change things now before it goes too far.

    Hope you're getting some rest.
  5. KFld

    KFld New Member

    I slept pretty good last night. I am out for most of the day doing some volunteer work for the Elks club. I'll try and update you all later when I get home.
  6. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    BFF Jill is so lucky to have you with the experience that you have under your belt.

    Prayers for her and her son...
  7. gottaloveem

    gottaloveem Active Member

    What a terrifying ordeal for Jill. Yep, I sadly recognize the denial Jill's son. He thinks he can kick it because he quit for four days. Still worrying about smoking weed means he isn't ready to live a drug free life. Apparently, this ordeal didn't scare him.

    Tell him our story if you think it might help. Alex thought he could kick it on his own. They are young and don't fully understand the grip heroin puts on you. I'm sure this kid isn't ready to give up all of his druggie friends and that life yet. He must know your son, do you think he will listen to him?

    It's great that you can help Jill through this. She will no doubt try to think of ways to help him quit. She will likely get frustrated that he wont. You will help her from enabling him. You will remind her she is a good mom. You will remind her to let him hit bottom till he wants to quit.

    What an awful place for your friend Jill. I truly feel sorry for her because now that he has come close and still isn't scared, she probably will go through much more till he quits. Give her a hug for me.
  8. saving grace

    saving grace New Member

    Oh Karen, this is so terrible yet so familiar in our lives. Its not fair. I will keep him in my thoughts and hope that it is sooner rather than too late that he realizes the destructive path he is on.

    Gottalovem has point, do you think he will listen to your son?

    I was thinking that Maybe just maybe this hardcore detox will be hard enough to scare him.

    hugs to you and Jill

  9. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    Really good words from all! I was thinking the same as both gottaloveem & grace. :warrior:

    ((((Really big hugs)))) to both you & Jill

  10. KFld

    KFld New Member

    My son is not a very good talker. Him and Jills son were very close friends when they were much younger, but have grown way apart through the years. I wish my son would talk to him, but he's not the type to do that. He's very quiet and gets all anxiety ridden when it comes to situations like that. I can offer both of them his experience through me and hope it helps.

    Talked to Jill this morning and she doesn't think the detox kept him last night because he wasn't using enough!!!!! I hate when they say that. She thinks her ex may have taken him back to his place where he would have had no way of using for the night, so they are probably moving onto the next plan of how to get him into treatment.

    God, I remember this all too well. Thinking they are going to get help and then it gets pulled right out from under you.

    Then again, he's not ready either, so it would be a waste of time and money at this point.
  11. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    I remember the night my son did the same thing. Ended up in the er. They called us a 3 in the morning. He was out. They pumped his stomach and he didnt even know it. We thought he would be ready for treatment but he was not. He was so mad he was in the hospital. However, we involuntarily had him commited. It didnt do any good. They threw him out of the facility because he didnt want to be there. Who does? It would make more sense if they just kept them until they decided to do right. However my son in in jail now and that is where they keep them. Unfortunately I hate where he is however I know he will not overdose in there. It is amazing how much they can go through and still want to use. My son loves weed. He is on probation and even though he still uses weed - he just spaces it out from meeting to meeting. The probation officer doesnt seem to mind. However he is in jail for contributing to the deliquency of aminor. Duh.
  12. SunnyFlorida

    SunnyFlorida Active Member

    You done good Kfld. Sorry to hear that BFF Jill's son is caught in the deadly monster of addiction.
  13. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Grandpa

    Really sorry to hear about the OD and denial. At least BFF Jill has you there. It must be awful reliving the bad days, thank goodness your son is doing so well.
  14. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member


    Any update? Wondering how you were doing, as well as your friend and her son.

  15. KFld

    KFld New Member

    He got into an inpatient rehab on Saturday afternoon. He isn't taking it seriously though. They took him in at first for a five day detox and then spoke to him about staying for the 28 day program. He said he's not staying and that he needs to be out by Wednesday so he can spend Thanksgiving with his family. Jill told him he is not coming home. He said he'll find a place to live.

    I'm going to give her my one day at a time in alanon book today and I told her if she wants to go to a meeting tonight, I'd be more then happy to go with her.
  16. ck1

    ck1 New Member

    Just wanted to add how lucky Jill is to have you!!! I'm sure she knows that though. Sorry you're all going through this, it's so sad how strong addiction is.

    Have you and Jill watched the show "Intervention"? I know you've been through this, but maybe you could get more information from that show???
  17. KFld

    KFld New Member

    I know she has watched that show because she used to tell me about it.
    She has a lot of support from many people in her own immediate family. One of her brothers is a recovering heroin addict and her other brother is actually psychofrenic (I know I didn't spell that right) from a bad LSD trip many years ago. None of this is new to her family.

    She called me last night and asked me if I ever, when my difficult child was using, thought it would be easier if he had just died so this pain would be over for everyone. I don't think I ever really thought about it, but I do know what she means. I also told her to take whatever I say and do what she wants with it. I don't ever want her to think I have all the answers and I can only tell her what worked for me, but she has to follow her heart.
  18. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    I understand completely. When my son overdosed and was taken to the er - he didnt wake up until the next morning and was so mad he was there! I was glad he was alive. We then had him involuntarily committed to a state inpatient facility. He had the same attitude that your son does. It is ridiculous. We also said he could not come back home. It is so hard. Sometimes you think is this really right? Tonight I am going to Alanon. I can voice my opinion there and no one judges me or tells me if I am right or wrong - theyhelp me help myself. Good luck.