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Bi Polar in an 8 year old?
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<blockquote data-quote="HMBgal" data-source="post: 654978" data-attributes="member: 13260"><p>Well, it's kind of hit the fan around here. My daughter got an email that my grandson was cursing at his father, screaming and insulting his step-mother, made his year-old half-brother cry (who he loves dearly), had another bad day at school, etc. Difficult Child's father threatened my grandson with the police, going to the hospital, etc. Difficult Child screamed "I hate you!" freaked out, lost all composure, and was thrown in a bedroom in time out until my husband and I could come get him. And now he and his sister are with their mom full-time (which is what we've wanted all along). Difficult Child's father and step mother feel that they can never give or do enough, and given that there are four other children (for a total of 6--two of his, three of hers, and one of theirs), my grandson just isn't doing well there.</p><p></p><p>My grandson took the opportunity to talk alone with his psychiatrist the next day and he just dowloaded all his feelings. You could see that this poor kid was terrified of his father and terrified of talking to anyone about it. The result is that CPS has been called for emotional abuse and some physical abuse. No bruises, but he does throw him onto his bed, squeezes his fingers so hard that he hurts him, we have seen marks on face where he was probably refusing to get undressed and his father pulled the shirt off of his face and it left some pretty good scrapes. He also grabs one of the step mother's little boys (my ex son in law is a big, strong, 300 pound man with a temper) and when I ask what the step mother does, she says "Really, (his name). Really?" That being said, this kid can be so defiant, disrespectful, full of rage, throwing stuff, saying the most horrible things, that we've all tried to grab him to keep him from denting up our cars, throwing things, calling his sister or me a "f-word female dog", etc. But the difference is that my daughter goes to the doctor's appointments, takes the parenting classes, reads the books, and tries to keep in mind that if Difficult Child could do good, he would. And he has made progress on his own timetable. And we don't escalate, or at least not very often; but we are human. In between these rages, he's truly a sweetheart, remorseful, will try to talk about it, what might work better next time, etc. His anxiety is off the charts, too.</p><p></p><p>We're getting him into the anxiety group that the doctor has recommended but it always fell on his "father's time" and even though he was at work, he wouldn't let us take him. It's only for 6 weeks, two hour sessions, but he wouldn't do it. And he was supposed to a court-orded parenting class, and he didn't do that, either. He only wants to parallel parent rather than cooperatively and not deal with my daughter at all. His new wife is an extremely jealous person and it's quite clear that she doesn't have what it takes to love another woman's children. And the kids know it and are reacting. Now he's saying that my granddaughter, who is the sweetest, most reasonable, peace-maker, cute little thing ever, is that she's "going bi-polar" too. And he wants to separate the kids and have my daughter keep my grandson, and leave the little girl with him. The psychiatrist says they have to stay together. Even when I was turned over to the state as a foster child, when I got placed, they told my foster family that I had a little brother and they take us both rather than separate us.</p><p></p><p>So, my daughter is filing for emergency custody, although Difficult Child's father said that don't bother to try to get any money from him because there isn't any. His son is in a crisis, he's turning him over to her, and he's telling her he still wants physical custody. That's what he felt like he needed to put in an email? He won't go to school meetings with her, talk with her in person, and won't share anything about what goes on in their house. The step mother has refused to watch my grandson anymore, so Difficult Child's father has had to go into work at 3 in the morning so he can pick up my grandson at school on Mondays and Tuesdays. The rest of the time, my husband and I do it and watch the kids until my daughter gets home from work. So, he's exhausted, has rage issues of his own, never wanted a big family, and now he's got six. I cannot imagine the stress, but he's never had good parenting skills and he doesn't seem to want to learn. They both believe that kids should do what they're told and that's that. Yeah, well. Wouldn't that be nice?</p><p></p><p>If you got this far, thank you. I needed to get this out. I feel like these two other people are so toxic and I'm helpless to stop their bullying of my daughter, and the increasing evidence that the kids are not being treated especially well by their step mother. I've been so kind, helpful, reasonable, trying to stay out of things and just care for the kids when needed. I used to have a very close relationship with my ex son-in-law, even after their divorce. The minute this woman came along, it all changed. I feel like they are under tremendous pressure and stress of their own, and heaven knows my grandson isn't helping. She doesn't work. At least they will still talk to us on a business-like level because we stay very neutral with them. They say horrible things to my daughter, though. This woman cares for my grandchildren, yes, but no hugs, smiles, and the kids really are feeling the lack. I was a momma-bear with my children, and now I'm an older, smarter, grandma bear and when people mess with the grand babies...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HMBgal, post: 654978, member: 13260"] Well, it's kind of hit the fan around here. My daughter got an email that my grandson was cursing at his father, screaming and insulting his step-mother, made his year-old half-brother cry (who he loves dearly), had another bad day at school, etc. Difficult Child's father threatened my grandson with the police, going to the hospital, etc. Difficult Child screamed "I hate you!" freaked out, lost all composure, and was thrown in a bedroom in time out until my husband and I could come get him. And now he and his sister are with their mom full-time (which is what we've wanted all along). Difficult Child's father and step mother feel that they can never give or do enough, and given that there are four other children (for a total of 6--two of his, three of hers, and one of theirs), my grandson just isn't doing well there. My grandson took the opportunity to talk alone with his psychiatrist the next day and he just dowloaded all his feelings. You could see that this poor kid was terrified of his father and terrified of talking to anyone about it. The result is that CPS has been called for emotional abuse and some physical abuse. No bruises, but he does throw him onto his bed, squeezes his fingers so hard that he hurts him, we have seen marks on face where he was probably refusing to get undressed and his father pulled the shirt off of his face and it left some pretty good scrapes. He also grabs one of the step mother's little boys (my ex son in law is a big, strong, 300 pound man with a temper) and when I ask what the step mother does, she says "Really, (his name). Really?" That being said, this kid can be so defiant, disrespectful, full of rage, throwing stuff, saying the most horrible things, that we've all tried to grab him to keep him from denting up our cars, throwing things, calling his sister or me a "f-word female dog", etc. But the difference is that my daughter goes to the doctor's appointments, takes the parenting classes, reads the books, and tries to keep in mind that if Difficult Child could do good, he would. And he has made progress on his own timetable. And we don't escalate, or at least not very often; but we are human. In between these rages, he's truly a sweetheart, remorseful, will try to talk about it, what might work better next time, etc. His anxiety is off the charts, too. We're getting him into the anxiety group that the doctor has recommended but it always fell on his "father's time" and even though he was at work, he wouldn't let us take him. It's only for 6 weeks, two hour sessions, but he wouldn't do it. And he was supposed to a court-orded parenting class, and he didn't do that, either. He only wants to parallel parent rather than cooperatively and not deal with my daughter at all. His new wife is an extremely jealous person and it's quite clear that she doesn't have what it takes to love another woman's children. And the kids know it and are reacting. Now he's saying that my granddaughter, who is the sweetest, most reasonable, peace-maker, cute little thing ever, is that she's "going bi-polar" too. And he wants to separate the kids and have my daughter keep my grandson, and leave the little girl with him. The psychiatrist says they have to stay together. Even when I was turned over to the state as a foster child, when I got placed, they told my foster family that I had a little brother and they take us both rather than separate us. So, my daughter is filing for emergency custody, although Difficult Child's father said that don't bother to try to get any money from him because there isn't any. His son is in a crisis, he's turning him over to her, and he's telling her he still wants physical custody. That's what he felt like he needed to put in an email? He won't go to school meetings with her, talk with her in person, and won't share anything about what goes on in their house. The step mother has refused to watch my grandson anymore, so Difficult Child's father has had to go into work at 3 in the morning so he can pick up my grandson at school on Mondays and Tuesdays. The rest of the time, my husband and I do it and watch the kids until my daughter gets home from work. So, he's exhausted, has rage issues of his own, never wanted a big family, and now he's got six. I cannot imagine the stress, but he's never had good parenting skills and he doesn't seem to want to learn. They both believe that kids should do what they're told and that's that. Yeah, well. Wouldn't that be nice? If you got this far, thank you. I needed to get this out. I feel like these two other people are so toxic and I'm helpless to stop their bullying of my daughter, and the increasing evidence that the kids are not being treated especially well by their step mother. I've been so kind, helpful, reasonable, trying to stay out of things and just care for the kids when needed. I used to have a very close relationship with my ex son-in-law, even after their divorce. The minute this woman came along, it all changed. I feel like they are under tremendous pressure and stress of their own, and heaven knows my grandson isn't helping. She doesn't work. At least they will still talk to us on a business-like level because we stay very neutral with them. They say horrible things to my daughter, though. This woman cares for my grandchildren, yes, but no hugs, smiles, and the kids really are feeling the lack. I was a momma-bear with my children, and now I'm an older, smarter, grandma bear and when people mess with the grand babies... [/QUOTE]
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