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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 168437"><p>My daughter wasn't in Big Sisters, but she was involved with a mentoring program that was similar...just run by a different organization.</p><p></p><p>Her therapist at that time warned me to be careful. That these people aren't trained (they're just volunteers) and that they don't understand the kids' issues and there might be some boundary issues. I heard him, but I thought he was probably being overcautious. </p><p></p><p>The woman that was my daughter's mentor was...hmmmm....is whacked to harsh of a word? Ok. Maybe. She was very flighty. And she threw out information like it was fact when she basically didn't have a clue what she was talking about. Like she told me that if I tell the school my daughter needs an IEP they HAVE to give her one. Just like that. Totally didn't understand my daughter. I explained, to an extent, her issues. She didn't believe me. She would just show up. Or she would call me at work and tell me she was going to be there in 5 minutes. It was supposed to be a planned 2 hours every week and I was supposed to be there for pick up and drop off. A lot of times, she didn't even leave the house with her. Another time she called me - after taking difficult child to the pet store and letting difficult child call me at work to beg for this Yorkie puppy that was on sale (for $800) - after seeing how upset difficult child got (can you say meltdown?) and told me that I was right about difficult child. Duh. Ya think I know my kid? She wasn't in therapy for nothing. Then she told me she had watched a show on TV and she thinks difficult child is just an Indigo Child. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/faint.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":faint:" title="faint :faint:" data-shortname=":faint:" /></p><p></p><p>The problem was that difficult child really liked this woman. I let things go for longer than I normally would have because of that and because I believed that the mentor's heart was in the right place. But she was really crossing a lot of boundaries and I was becoming more and more uncomfortable. To further complicate things, the volunteer was best friends with the director of this program so when I left a message with the director to discuss things and request someone else, the director didn't call me back. She had the volunteer call me. That was an uncomfortable conversation. We never did get another mentor. And difficult child's mentor was also a CASA volunteer. Scary.</p><p></p><p>That said, my experience is not the experience of others. Obviously these programs have been successful because they are still in place and still popular. I think I'm just a weirdo magnet. A friend had a son who had a mentor through the same program and it was great for him. It was a totally different experience than mine and difficult child's. </p><p></p><p>My advice is to keep your eyes open. It can be a great thing for your son, but if you're feeling uncomfortable let the people at Big Brothers know and they will get someone else for you. Even with my experience, I am considering trying again but this time with Big Sisters. I'm not going to let one bad apple spoil it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 168437"] My daughter wasn't in Big Sisters, but she was involved with a mentoring program that was similar...just run by a different organization. Her therapist at that time warned me to be careful. That these people aren't trained (they're just volunteers) and that they don't understand the kids' issues and there might be some boundary issues. I heard him, but I thought he was probably being overcautious. The woman that was my daughter's mentor was...hmmmm....is whacked to harsh of a word? Ok. Maybe. She was very flighty. And she threw out information like it was fact when she basically didn't have a clue what she was talking about. Like she told me that if I tell the school my daughter needs an IEP they HAVE to give her one. Just like that. Totally didn't understand my daughter. I explained, to an extent, her issues. She didn't believe me. She would just show up. Or she would call me at work and tell me she was going to be there in 5 minutes. It was supposed to be a planned 2 hours every week and I was supposed to be there for pick up and drop off. A lot of times, she didn't even leave the house with her. Another time she called me - after taking difficult child to the pet store and letting difficult child call me at work to beg for this Yorkie puppy that was on sale (for $800) - after seeing how upset difficult child got (can you say meltdown?) and told me that I was right about difficult child. Duh. Ya think I know my kid? She wasn't in therapy for nothing. Then she told me she had watched a show on TV and she thinks difficult child is just an Indigo Child. :faint: The problem was that difficult child really liked this woman. I let things go for longer than I normally would have because of that and because I believed that the mentor's heart was in the right place. But she was really crossing a lot of boundaries and I was becoming more and more uncomfortable. To further complicate things, the volunteer was best friends with the director of this program so when I left a message with the director to discuss things and request someone else, the director didn't call me back. She had the volunteer call me. That was an uncomfortable conversation. We never did get another mentor. And difficult child's mentor was also a CASA volunteer. Scary. That said, my experience is not the experience of others. Obviously these programs have been successful because they are still in place and still popular. I think I'm just a weirdo magnet. A friend had a son who had a mentor through the same program and it was great for him. It was a totally different experience than mine and difficult child's. My advice is to keep your eyes open. It can be a great thing for your son, but if you're feeling uncomfortable let the people at Big Brothers know and they will get someone else for you. Even with my experience, I am considering trying again but this time with Big Sisters. I'm not going to let one bad apple spoil it. [/QUOTE]
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