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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 168455" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>"Your child is not having learning problems; she's an indigo child, that's why she's so different."</p><p></p><p>I think it's a handy label for people to cling to, when they don't want to accept that life and the world is not perfect.</p><p></p><p>Whether there really is such a phenomenon as indigo children or not, it is a concept that can be too easily abused, twisted, distorted and manipulated to explain away absolutely anything you choose.</p><p></p><p>There was a TV documentary last night on Aussie TV, talking about a particular cult (it exists only in Australia) and the TV program was showing the divide and conquer mind techniques used by those in control. You couldn't question anyone in authority because to do so showed a lack of faith which automatically excluded you from any rights to administrative information such as the books, the files on people, etc. </p><p></p><p>This phenomenon goes way beyond religion. I mention it only as an example of how the people who claim to have the information (and who therefore are "special" in some way) are also the ones who determine who can be permitted to have any input or access.</p><p></p><p>It's a form of extreme control and you find it in often charismatic but very controlling individuals who use this control entirely for their own purposes. Anything goes. All others exist only to serve them, the ones in control. You can see it in politicians, in self-promoting experts and public 'gurus', in heads or corporations who are much more visible than most. And also in some individuals who simply modify reality (and the understanding of reality in the people around them) to suit their own tastes.</p><p></p><p>It sounds to me, Heather, like you got a person like this as your daughter's mentor. I would be wondering exactly who was running that program - maybe the director only did the paperwork. </p><p></p><p>These controlling people are experts in everything and of course they never need to check the information they disseminate, because they define the world for themselves. In other words, if they say it is so, then it is so. Sometimes they also remove "unbelievers" from their environment and encourage all "followers" to do the same. Again, I am talking about a phenomenon which goes way beyond religion. The scariest example of these people that I have personally encountered was actually a spokesperson for a medical charity. She would control the information and the people around her very tightly, demanding a high level of personal commitment and fidelity from her friends and allies. Anyone expressing any scepticism at all about her proclaimed viewpoints was 100&#37; censored; she did her best to ensure any opposing viewpoints were obliterated.</p><p></p><p>As I write this, I'm thinking about other examples - difficult child 3's current English teacher is a possibility (because she will not believe me when I explain what difficult child 3 can't do, she keeps on pushing and insisting that she has a better understanding of him that I do); difficult child 1's old karate teacher who closed me out of the classes and then systematically abused difficult child 1 for his inability to be perfect then told him, "what goes on in karate class is secret, there is a code, you must never tell what goes on"; my ratbag neighbour who I quite like but know I can never trust. These people are not necessarily a physical danger to your child, but they at best are misguided and irresponsible.</p><p></p><p>If your child is no longer being influenced by this person then this is a really good thing. She would have learnt some very bad habits about interacting with other people. The way she turned up, told you that she would arrive with 5 minutes' notice etc - it's typical. Rules do not apply to such a "Special Being".</p><p></p><p>As with any person who is going to be interacting with your child, make sure you are firmly in the picture and are aware of what they are doing and how they interact. You can explain to them what your child needs. If the person has their own theory and shares it with you, there is always a possibility they are right or at least have something worth trying; but if they refuse to play by your rules and listen to your concerns, show them the door.</p><p></p><p>I find I keep a much closer watch on who interacts with difficult child 3, than I would with a easy child. I need to - he is much more vulnerable, it is really easy to do a lot of harm with simply the wrong word. I can also steer things in a more productive direction, if we're beginning to bog down in stuff that just isn't working. I also can reinforce and support someone who is on the right track and doing really good things for my child.</p><p></p><p>Anyone who can't work with this, or who finds my close proximity to difficult child 3 to be a problem for them, I immediately get concerned about.</p><p></p><p>I hope I didn't ramble too much, I hope I explained myself. That "Indigo Child" thing just leapt out at me, along with the rest of your description, Heather - the combination told me that you had a wild one there, alright.</p><p></p><p>Jody, I think the Big Brother thing is really worthwhile. It will open you up to more possible male figures in his life. I don't think you would need to watch this person any more closely than you should already be watching ANY other person in his life - abuse can come from anyone: friend, foe, family or stranger. I see no reason why you can't do things as a group, you as well. Maybe the Big Brother could work with difficult child to make something with wood. You could either watch, or bring them refreshments, or do your own thing (such as gardening) in the vicinity. Or everyone go on a picnic, and they could kick a ball around. There are many activities which are great for boys to do with another male, but which can also be done with supervision or involvement of another person.</p><p></p><p>We need to keep our kids safe, but they need to learn about other people and the sort of people they will encounter in life.</p><p></p><p>It's a matter of finding balance.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 168455, member: 1991"] "Your child is not having learning problems; she's an indigo child, that's why she's so different." I think it's a handy label for people to cling to, when they don't want to accept that life and the world is not perfect. Whether there really is such a phenomenon as indigo children or not, it is a concept that can be too easily abused, twisted, distorted and manipulated to explain away absolutely anything you choose. There was a TV documentary last night on Aussie TV, talking about a particular cult (it exists only in Australia) and the TV program was showing the divide and conquer mind techniques used by those in control. You couldn't question anyone in authority because to do so showed a lack of faith which automatically excluded you from any rights to administrative information such as the books, the files on people, etc. This phenomenon goes way beyond religion. I mention it only as an example of how the people who claim to have the information (and who therefore are "special" in some way) are also the ones who determine who can be permitted to have any input or access. It's a form of extreme control and you find it in often charismatic but very controlling individuals who use this control entirely for their own purposes. Anything goes. All others exist only to serve them, the ones in control. You can see it in politicians, in self-promoting experts and public 'gurus', in heads or corporations who are much more visible than most. And also in some individuals who simply modify reality (and the understanding of reality in the people around them) to suit their own tastes. It sounds to me, Heather, like you got a person like this as your daughter's mentor. I would be wondering exactly who was running that program - maybe the director only did the paperwork. These controlling people are experts in everything and of course they never need to check the information they disseminate, because they define the world for themselves. In other words, if they say it is so, then it is so. Sometimes they also remove "unbelievers" from their environment and encourage all "followers" to do the same. Again, I am talking about a phenomenon which goes way beyond religion. The scariest example of these people that I have personally encountered was actually a spokesperson for a medical charity. She would control the information and the people around her very tightly, demanding a high level of personal commitment and fidelity from her friends and allies. Anyone expressing any scepticism at all about her proclaimed viewpoints was 100% censored; she did her best to ensure any opposing viewpoints were obliterated. As I write this, I'm thinking about other examples - difficult child 3's current English teacher is a possibility (because she will not believe me when I explain what difficult child 3 can't do, she keeps on pushing and insisting that she has a better understanding of him that I do); difficult child 1's old karate teacher who closed me out of the classes and then systematically abused difficult child 1 for his inability to be perfect then told him, "what goes on in karate class is secret, there is a code, you must never tell what goes on"; my ratbag neighbour who I quite like but know I can never trust. These people are not necessarily a physical danger to your child, but they at best are misguided and irresponsible. If your child is no longer being influenced by this person then this is a really good thing. She would have learnt some very bad habits about interacting with other people. The way she turned up, told you that she would arrive with 5 minutes' notice etc - it's typical. Rules do not apply to such a "Special Being". As with any person who is going to be interacting with your child, make sure you are firmly in the picture and are aware of what they are doing and how they interact. You can explain to them what your child needs. If the person has their own theory and shares it with you, there is always a possibility they are right or at least have something worth trying; but if they refuse to play by your rules and listen to your concerns, show them the door. I find I keep a much closer watch on who interacts with difficult child 3, than I would with a easy child. I need to - he is much more vulnerable, it is really easy to do a lot of harm with simply the wrong word. I can also steer things in a more productive direction, if we're beginning to bog down in stuff that just isn't working. I also can reinforce and support someone who is on the right track and doing really good things for my child. Anyone who can't work with this, or who finds my close proximity to difficult child 3 to be a problem for them, I immediately get concerned about. I hope I didn't ramble too much, I hope I explained myself. That "Indigo Child" thing just leapt out at me, along with the rest of your description, Heather - the combination told me that you had a wild one there, alright. Jody, I think the Big Brother thing is really worthwhile. It will open you up to more possible male figures in his life. I don't think you would need to watch this person any more closely than you should already be watching ANY other person in his life - abuse can come from anyone: friend, foe, family or stranger. I see no reason why you can't do things as a group, you as well. Maybe the Big Brother could work with difficult child to make something with wood. You could either watch, or bring them refreshments, or do your own thing (such as gardening) in the vicinity. Or everyone go on a picnic, and they could kick a ball around. There are many activities which are great for boys to do with another male, but which can also be done with supervision or involvement of another person. We need to keep our kids safe, but they need to learn about other people and the sort of people they will encounter in life. It's a matter of finding balance. Marg [/QUOTE]
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