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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 168457" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>I looked into this program for my son. His father chose never to be in his life or acknowledge him at all, so they have never seen each other. My concerns were 1) the LONG waiting list, 2) how dependable would the person be as far as showing up when they said and being around on a regular basis, and 3) how long would they be around before they quit or moved on. </p><p></p><p>These concerns were because I was told that in this area, the Big Brothers were usually college students. How many times do college students change their plans without realizing the impact on others? And, I was told that the "good" ones will hang in there until the end of the school year, then they usually leave the area for the summer.</p><p></p><p>Ulitmatey, I decided that it would be best for difficult child not to have an experience that could deepen his sense of rejection. I started trying to encourage other types of mentoring relationships- like older, "grandfather" type neighbors that had no grandchildren and who had lived across from us or next to us for years (so I knew they were stable and not "seeking" kids to be around all the time). It did make a difference in difficult child's life by making him feel "special" and giving him something to look forward to.</p><p></p><p>I would have done- and still would do- the Big Bros. program if I believed the odds were in favor of the person being a long-term mentor and good role model and who understood that when the day came to move on, difficult child would expect letters written or phone calls occassionally or else he would feel abandoned.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 168457, member: 3699"] I looked into this program for my son. His father chose never to be in his life or acknowledge him at all, so they have never seen each other. My concerns were 1) the LONG waiting list, 2) how dependable would the person be as far as showing up when they said and being around on a regular basis, and 3) how long would they be around before they quit or moved on. These concerns were because I was told that in this area, the Big Brothers were usually college students. How many times do college students change their plans without realizing the impact on others? And, I was told that the "good" ones will hang in there until the end of the school year, then they usually leave the area for the summer. Ulitmatey, I decided that it would be best for difficult child not to have an experience that could deepen his sense of rejection. I started trying to encourage other types of mentoring relationships- like older, "grandfather" type neighbors that had no grandchildren and who had lived across from us or next to us for years (so I knew they were stable and not "seeking" kids to be around all the time). It did make a difference in difficult child's life by making him feel "special" and giving him something to look forward to. I would have done- and still would do- the Big Bros. program if I believed the odds were in favor of the person being a long-term mentor and good role model and who understood that when the day came to move on, difficult child would expect letters written or phone calls occassionally or else he would feel abandoned. [/QUOTE]
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