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<blockquote data-quote="SearchingForRainbows" data-source="post: 106716" data-attributes="member: 3388"><p>WeepingWillow,</p><p></p><p>You've got so much on your plate!!! I think Heather is right. in my humble opinion, you're seeking comfort. I can totally understand why with all the stuff you're dealing with. </p><p></p><p>I had to cut the ties permanently with my parents a little over a year ago. For a long time, I too, was looking for approval from my father. And, in reality, my father was a very distant, self-centered person with lots of emotional problems. It took me years to realize this. I used to idealize him. And, I too, believe that I made some extremely poor choices in men. I too, used to always pick men who weren't there for me emotionally, afraid of commitment, or who were walking on the "wild side" of life. </p><p></p><p>Please don't be too hard on yourself. Honestly, I don't really have any good advice other than that. I don't know how I would feel if I knew my father had cancer. I'm sure, even to this day, I'de have mixed emotions...I think even though as adults, we rationally know and understand our fathers' negative impact on us, it is difficult to totally erase this impact from our lives. </p><p></p><p>Sending lots of cyber hugs, WFEN</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SearchingForRainbows, post: 106716, member: 3388"] WeepingWillow, You've got so much on your plate!!! I think Heather is right. in my humble opinion, you're seeking comfort. I can totally understand why with all the stuff you're dealing with. I had to cut the ties permanently with my parents a little over a year ago. For a long time, I too, was looking for approval from my father. And, in reality, my father was a very distant, self-centered person with lots of emotional problems. It took me years to realize this. I used to idealize him. And, I too, believe that I made some extremely poor choices in men. I too, used to always pick men who weren't there for me emotionally, afraid of commitment, or who were walking on the "wild side" of life. Please don't be too hard on yourself. Honestly, I don't really have any good advice other than that. I don't know how I would feel if I knew my father had cancer. I'm sure, even to this day, I'de have mixed emotions...I think even though as adults, we rationally know and understand our fathers' negative impact on us, it is difficult to totally erase this impact from our lives. Sending lots of cyber hugs, WFEN [/QUOTE]
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