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Bio dad
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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 380190" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>How completely maddening. And hurtful for easy child! I'm glad he has a good head on his shoulders and is recognizing the "cop out" thing himself and isn't putting himself out there over and over again for disappointment. His decision to stop attempting visits etc seems healthy to me. The mama bear in me would feel just like you. </p><p></p><p>My bio dad is a sick twisted so and so, and we'll never speak which is good. I posted early last year that my half sister (my easy child's age , my sis is 12, 9 months older than my easy child) and my aunts from bio dads side contacted me through facebook. Never knew them a day in my life. 3 of these aunts found me, and my grandfather. My grandfather remains in touch sporatically but I believe it is sporatic due to some serious illness plus a huge lack of computer skills. I enjoy our back and forth messages and he seems honestly interested in learning more about the kids and I and he always reminds me he loves me very much and is hopeful I can travel to meet him (His health is poor but he seems a tough old guy as he's survived a lot since he found me). The first 2 aunts who messaged me seemed the most "into" the idea of starting a relationship. They dwindled off after very few messages back and forth. One of them lives several hours away in the same small town as my mother in law, and I was up there on labor day long weekend. Turns out she is offended I didn't contact her for a visit since I was a 2-3 minute walk from her house. My thoughts were that I'm a keyboard away from a message or a phone call away, for the past year and a half. I was fine not getting together with her. Ironically, the 3rd aunt who took longer to contact me than the other 2, has turned out to be an amazing woman and we are getting very close. At one point when I hadn't heard from her for 2 weeks, I got a call from her on her cell phone. She didn't want me thinking she was distancing herself but she'd been camping and there is no phone or cell signal there. She'd driven over 30 minutes so she could park on the side of the road where she could get a signal, just to say she was thinking of me and would be in touch as soon as she was back home from camp. She's driven 4 hours (each way) to meet and spend the day with me. I'm enjoying bonding with her and it touches me that she reached out etc.</p><p></p><p>I have felt hurt that the other 2 reached out to me, we were/are complete strangers. They expressed a desire for a relationship yet have not followed up. It isn't the same as a parent doing this as with your easy child, but it still hurts. We always wonder about family if they have been absent. I don't understand the motive of those 2 aunts or your easy child's bio dad in reaching out after decades absent, only to make no effort to sustain a new relationship. </p><p></p><p>I'm glad your easy child is at least getting to know some extended family after all of this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 380190, member: 4264"] How completely maddening. And hurtful for easy child! I'm glad he has a good head on his shoulders and is recognizing the "cop out" thing himself and isn't putting himself out there over and over again for disappointment. His decision to stop attempting visits etc seems healthy to me. The mama bear in me would feel just like you. My bio dad is a sick twisted so and so, and we'll never speak which is good. I posted early last year that my half sister (my easy child's age , my sis is 12, 9 months older than my easy child) and my aunts from bio dads side contacted me through facebook. Never knew them a day in my life. 3 of these aunts found me, and my grandfather. My grandfather remains in touch sporatically but I believe it is sporatic due to some serious illness plus a huge lack of computer skills. I enjoy our back and forth messages and he seems honestly interested in learning more about the kids and I and he always reminds me he loves me very much and is hopeful I can travel to meet him (His health is poor but he seems a tough old guy as he's survived a lot since he found me). The first 2 aunts who messaged me seemed the most "into" the idea of starting a relationship. They dwindled off after very few messages back and forth. One of them lives several hours away in the same small town as my mother in law, and I was up there on labor day long weekend. Turns out she is offended I didn't contact her for a visit since I was a 2-3 minute walk from her house. My thoughts were that I'm a keyboard away from a message or a phone call away, for the past year and a half. I was fine not getting together with her. Ironically, the 3rd aunt who took longer to contact me than the other 2, has turned out to be an amazing woman and we are getting very close. At one point when I hadn't heard from her for 2 weeks, I got a call from her on her cell phone. She didn't want me thinking she was distancing herself but she'd been camping and there is no phone or cell signal there. She'd driven over 30 minutes so she could park on the side of the road where she could get a signal, just to say she was thinking of me and would be in touch as soon as she was back home from camp. She's driven 4 hours (each way) to meet and spend the day with me. I'm enjoying bonding with her and it touches me that she reached out etc. I have felt hurt that the other 2 reached out to me, we were/are complete strangers. They expressed a desire for a relationship yet have not followed up. It isn't the same as a parent doing this as with your easy child, but it still hurts. We always wonder about family if they have been absent. I don't understand the motive of those 2 aunts or your easy child's bio dad in reaching out after decades absent, only to make no effort to sustain a new relationship. I'm glad your easy child is at least getting to know some extended family after all of this. [/QUOTE]
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