Bipolar son about to turn 18

[DammitJanet]

I think I am with GG on this one.

I have bipolar and as hard as it is to admit this, I cant function well in society. Most folks on this board would probably find that fairly hard to believe because I can take my time to post or simply not post if I am having a bad day.

But...being bipolar doesnt give me an excuse for bad behavior and I work very hard on watching what I do. I am in therapy and I am completely medication compliant. I dont have a get out of jail free card should I break the law because I have some bipolar fit.

Now my son also has bipolar and chooses not to follow my example. He acts more like your son. He smokes pot, is in legal trouble, blames others for his problems. He thinks he is better than other people. He is in for a hard crash soon enough.

We have not kicked him out even though we probably should have because where we live we dont have homeless shelters and finding someplace to stay is next to impossible for someone with no funds. We dont have a salvation army or a YMCA. He doesnt drive. He cant even get into public housing. So right now we are waiting to see what happens with court and then he is working too and hopefully after that he can find a place on his own.

It also doesnt help that he has a toddler who comes to our house. That complicates the tossing out situation.

 

[DammitJanet]

Oh...I wanted to say...we dont give him squat as far as goodies and havent since he was 17 and came home from a group home and wouldnt go back to school. He doesnt even have a bed in his room anymore. He attempted to move out one time and took it with him and didnt bring it back so oh well.

He only has pants that he either gets from Goodwill in a town two towns up from us, pants that we buy two pair for xmas, or pants that he buys himself. All his clothes are raggedy.

The only rides I give him are to school and to work and I take gas mileage out of his SSI check along with rent and food.

The only thing I do which may be enabling is provide for his child when she is at our house. We buy most of her clothes and diapers and all her toys. But we do that because we want to and love her to death. Its our choice. We could have walked away and had nothing to do with her.

 

[Paris]

Now I'm really confused about his medications. The mood stabilizers, Depakote and Lamictal did not work. His doctor put him on Zyprexa and all of a sudden we had a beak through. It does not stop his mania or depression, but it keeps him from having severe delusions(which can be scary!!). I have an appointment with his doctor on Thurs to discuss a mood stabilizer and the Zyprexa. I hope my son doesn't fight me on this.
He hates seeing doctors.

The pot stops him from getting too manic, but I am 100% against it and I do not allow it because it also makes him lazy with no motivation do anything!!

I told him we have to keep trying medications and we must not give up. Pot is not the answer.

Today he turns 18. I don't want it to be bad day, but I don't want to shower him with gifts either.

I will discuss a middle ground with his father (we're divorced), because I know I can't stick to kicking him out. I will let him back. I always do : (

Paris- 40, single mom
difficult child- 18, bipolar, tested likely for Asperger's, but not sure with that one.
easy child- 15, girl, no problems

 

[flutterbee]

Zyprexa is an atypical antipsychotic, so it's supposed to help with delusions. I'm glad it's working for that. But, it won't stabilize moods.

The medication merry-go-round is confusing and exhausting.

 

[goldenguru]

Paris~

Trust an old veteran when I tell you that trying two medication stabilizers is just the beginning of trying to find the right 'medication cocktail'. It literally took my husbands psychiatrist about 8 years to find just the right combo of medications - at just the right dosages with just the right PRN drugs. And I have been told, that even though this is the right mix for now, it is possible that it won't be the right mix two years from now. How encouraging - :slap:

In addition to medications - people with mental illness need ONGOING therapy. It took my husband about 8 years to understand that therapy was more than a few visits when he was under duress. Therapy really does help to offer real world orientation, to work on cognitive behaviors, to set goals, etc.

Happy birthday to your difficult child. Hope it's an OK day.