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Bipolar son about to turn 18
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 103575"><p>Having bipolar disorder does not excuse you from the responsibilities of life or adulthood. I've read that bipolar is one of the hardest mental disorders to treat, that it can take years and years to get the right medication combination and that self-medicating (drugs and/or alcohol) is very high in that population. However, it can be treated. We have parents on this board who are bipolar and are some of the strongest, most amazing people I've ever come across.</p><p></p><p>It seems pretty obvious that the zyprexa isn't enough. If he is bipolar, he needs a mood stabilizer. I understand that depakote and lamictal didn't work, but there are other mood stabilizers. And, often, it's the combination of medications that work.</p><p></p><p>MB is right. If you're going to lay down the ultimatum you have to mean it. Otherwise, he's never going to believe anything you say and he'll just walk all over you.</p><p></p><p>At some point he has to want to help himself. No amount of you wanting him to get treatment and get well is going to make it happen. He has to want it for himself. He can only use his bipolar diagnosis as an excuse for so long. It's not an excuse if he refuses to do anything about it. After a while, it just becomes a crutch. As long as he has a roof over his head and food in his belly, it doesn't seem like he has much motivation to do anything different. I would stop bribing him to get him to his psychiatrist and therapist appts and taking his medications. It's his life. He knows what he needs to do in order to get well. It almost seems like he's using it as a means to get what he wants by requiring bribes. </p><p></p><p>If you just cannot bring yourself to throw him out, at the very least do not make his home life cushy. His room should consist of his mattress, bedding and clothes. Anything else you have purchased is taken away. The only additional things he brings in, he has purchased himself with his own money. He purchases and prepares his own meals. He has chores and responsibilities. </p><p></p><p>It's tough. Detaching is hard. This is your child and you are going to second guess everything - especially because of his diagnosis. Unless he is in a full blown delusional, manic state he knows right from wrong. He knows what needs to be done to treat it. He's choosing not to. His choice. Not yours.</p><p></p><p>(((hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 103575"] Having bipolar disorder does not excuse you from the responsibilities of life or adulthood. I've read that bipolar is one of the hardest mental disorders to treat, that it can take years and years to get the right medication combination and that self-medicating (drugs and/or alcohol) is very high in that population. However, it can be treated. We have parents on this board who are bipolar and are some of the strongest, most amazing people I've ever come across. It seems pretty obvious that the zyprexa isn't enough. If he is bipolar, he needs a mood stabilizer. I understand that depakote and lamictal didn't work, but there are other mood stabilizers. And, often, it's the combination of medications that work. MB is right. If you're going to lay down the ultimatum you have to mean it. Otherwise, he's never going to believe anything you say and he'll just walk all over you. At some point he has to want to help himself. No amount of you wanting him to get treatment and get well is going to make it happen. He has to want it for himself. He can only use his bipolar diagnosis as an excuse for so long. It's not an excuse if he refuses to do anything about it. After a while, it just becomes a crutch. As long as he has a roof over his head and food in his belly, it doesn't seem like he has much motivation to do anything different. I would stop bribing him to get him to his psychiatrist and therapist appts and taking his medications. It's his life. He knows what he needs to do in order to get well. It almost seems like he's using it as a means to get what he wants by requiring bribes. If you just cannot bring yourself to throw him out, at the very least do not make his home life cushy. His room should consist of his mattress, bedding and clothes. Anything else you have purchased is taken away. The only additional things he brings in, he has purchased himself with his own money. He purchases and prepares his own meals. He has chores and responsibilities. It's tough. Detaching is hard. This is your child and you are going to second guess everything - especially because of his diagnosis. Unless he is in a full blown delusional, manic state he knows right from wrong. He knows what needs to be done to treat it. He's choosing not to. His choice. Not yours. (((hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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