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birthday blues blow out
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 596845" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Some people have far stronger reactions to medications esp pain medications than others. I am likely a bit of an 'expert' as I have been on them for years due to chronic health problems,I took classes on medications etc... as electives in college and my family and friends all come to me with questions. Some people go through withdrawal after only a single dose or 24 hrs on pain medications. It is a VERY personal thing as to how you react and there are general guidelines to predict what they do but they are NOT exact no matter what the doctor says. Given the other issues, I would try to understand a week or so of behavior problems and if they continue then insist he get therapy to deal with the withdrawal. </p><p></p><p>I also think that both you and your husband should at least try to get some therapy. The military is supposed to have fairly good therapy and I think that it might be very well worth the time and whatever cost (should NOT be much) as it will help you and your husband figure out a lot of things including how to handle his illness, the parenting stuff, each of your feelings, etc.... Even if he wont' go, you should take advantage of it. Or find a clinic in the area that offers a sliding scale for therapy if you don't want to go through the military. </p><p></p><p>As for coupons, they can provide a big payoff. </p><p></p><p>For cooking at home, I can give you recipes for your own mixes, etc.... that are cheaper and make a HUGE difference in food quality from store bought mixes. Look up food pantries online and don't feel bad about going to one. You would be shocked at how many people go to them now, and at least here they do not ask your income because htey know how people here have been struggling hard even if it looks on paper like they shouldn't. </p><p></p><p>If you have credit cards or debt, find a consumer credit counselling agency and get help. They can do a LOT to lower credit card debt etc..... We did this about ten yrs ago and went from close to six hundred dollars due a month to about $215 a month which was a HUGE help to us. In our case, my husband had cards I didn't know about and maxed them out and it was the LAST time he was EVER allowed a credit card again. We do not use them, period. It has given us a huge sense of security as no one calls and hounds us over them.</p><p></p><p>If you use the library, see if they have The Complete Tightwad Gazette and read it. I swear by this book and you can ask Lisa (Hound Dog) about it. It is TRULY amazing and life changing in a VERY good way. If you don't use the library or they don't have it, order a used copy online. I use amazon marketplace, abebooks.net and/or alibris mostly, and it is not terribly expensive used. If the hardcover version is only a dollar or two more, get that. the book started as a newsletter, then eventually was made into three books, and the "Complete" version is all 3 books in one volume. It is well worth the money and I could NOT have raised my kids with-o it on our budget. </p><p></p><p>I truly have a homemade version of almost any store bought mix and you would be shocked at how much cheaper most are to make at home, and how little time it really takes to make up a batch of homemade mix. They even make amazing gifts that cost very little and are almost always greeted with delight twice. Once when you give them because people always think they took a long time and are sooo thoughtful, and again once they are used. I once gave a monthly free refill of a cookie mix to a friend and you would have thought I gave her the lottery each month from her reaction. That recipe is an old secret recipe a family friend gave my mom and I, and we don't let ANYONE have it (did not even give it to exsil when she was married to gfgbro!) but we give it away as a mix and it is always enjoyed. </p><p></p><p>Most grocery stores have some things they are the lowest price on, and knowing this and buying ONLY those things can be a big help. One way to KNOW you are getting the best price is to start a price book. This summer with the big kids gone is the best time to start one. Take a notebook and write down 20-30 grocery items that are staples. Leave a line or 2 between each item. Draw a vertical line to make a column for each grocery store on each page. Go to the store and write the price for each item down. When you go to the other stores, write their price for each item down (be sure to include how many ounces/pounds/etc... so you can compare the prices accurately). All summer, add ten or twenty items to the book each time you shop. Check to make sure that you are buying items at the lowest possible price and you can save hundreds on groceries. It doesn't take much time once you get used to it, and it sure winds up saving a lot more than min wage would pay if you worked the amt of time you spend on the book. </p><p></p><p>Start a list of things you enjoy that don't cost anything or cost very little. Focus on doing these things that enrich your life and you may be surprised at how rich your life is even when you don't have much money. I did this with my husband because he would have pity parties about not being able to afford this or that. We both found that we enjoyed a cheap movie more than a full price one, playing a game together or going for a walk more than going to window shop, and the 'little things' like listening to our kids tell us a story more than buying any item for any price. Having that list allowed us to not feel deprived. in my opinion that is a big part of the problem with money - it can take your focus off of the thigns that matter like hearing your child laugh, Know what I mean?? Yes, having enough to pay the bills is important, but it is also important to be able to enjoy other things. </p><p></p><p>For household items, check out freecycle.org. No one keeps track of if you give or get, nothing costs money or is a trade, you just post htings you don't want, ask for things you need, and accept offers for things you ask for or other people offer that they don't want. It is wonderful and keeps stuff out of the landfills.</p><p></p><p>For phones, consider pay as you go. Net10 has been hands down the cheapest around here, though once TracFone offered triple minutes they also became very inexpensive. I get 750 min per month for $25 or 200 for $20. The 750 do not roll to the next month, but any unused of the 200 for twenty bucks does. Internet stuff is billed as minutes so you can go online if you have a phone that does that. You can get a cheap phone for ten or so, and a fancier one for twenty to forty dollars. It is vastly better than the contracts around here, and the service seems more reliable and clear here also. My folks use ATT and we can barely understand them sometimes, and leaving voicemail for them? Often they get it a week later! That happens no matter if we use ATT or ANY other carrier or a land line to leave the message. It is obnoxious. </p><p></p><p>I hope you can find a way to enjoy your weekend, and I would choose another day to have a Birthday Do=Over. Make sure you do something you ENJOY that day, and it isn't a day you drop your kids off for months away from you. </p><p></p><p>(((((Hugs))))</p><p></p><p>ps. I meant it when I offered to share recipes for mixes with you. Just let me know if you want them, and what mixes you often buy.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 596845, member: 1233"] Some people have far stronger reactions to medications esp pain medications than others. I am likely a bit of an 'expert' as I have been on them for years due to chronic health problems,I took classes on medications etc... as electives in college and my family and friends all come to me with questions. Some people go through withdrawal after only a single dose or 24 hrs on pain medications. It is a VERY personal thing as to how you react and there are general guidelines to predict what they do but they are NOT exact no matter what the doctor says. Given the other issues, I would try to understand a week or so of behavior problems and if they continue then insist he get therapy to deal with the withdrawal. I also think that both you and your husband should at least try to get some therapy. The military is supposed to have fairly good therapy and I think that it might be very well worth the time and whatever cost (should NOT be much) as it will help you and your husband figure out a lot of things including how to handle his illness, the parenting stuff, each of your feelings, etc.... Even if he wont' go, you should take advantage of it. Or find a clinic in the area that offers a sliding scale for therapy if you don't want to go through the military. As for coupons, they can provide a big payoff. For cooking at home, I can give you recipes for your own mixes, etc.... that are cheaper and make a HUGE difference in food quality from store bought mixes. Look up food pantries online and don't feel bad about going to one. You would be shocked at how many people go to them now, and at least here they do not ask your income because htey know how people here have been struggling hard even if it looks on paper like they shouldn't. If you have credit cards or debt, find a consumer credit counselling agency and get help. They can do a LOT to lower credit card debt etc..... We did this about ten yrs ago and went from close to six hundred dollars due a month to about $215 a month which was a HUGE help to us. In our case, my husband had cards I didn't know about and maxed them out and it was the LAST time he was EVER allowed a credit card again. We do not use them, period. It has given us a huge sense of security as no one calls and hounds us over them. If you use the library, see if they have The Complete Tightwad Gazette and read it. I swear by this book and you can ask Lisa (Hound Dog) about it. It is TRULY amazing and life changing in a VERY good way. If you don't use the library or they don't have it, order a used copy online. I use amazon marketplace, abebooks.net and/or alibris mostly, and it is not terribly expensive used. If the hardcover version is only a dollar or two more, get that. the book started as a newsletter, then eventually was made into three books, and the "Complete" version is all 3 books in one volume. It is well worth the money and I could NOT have raised my kids with-o it on our budget. I truly have a homemade version of almost any store bought mix and you would be shocked at how much cheaper most are to make at home, and how little time it really takes to make up a batch of homemade mix. They even make amazing gifts that cost very little and are almost always greeted with delight twice. Once when you give them because people always think they took a long time and are sooo thoughtful, and again once they are used. I once gave a monthly free refill of a cookie mix to a friend and you would have thought I gave her the lottery each month from her reaction. That recipe is an old secret recipe a family friend gave my mom and I, and we don't let ANYONE have it (did not even give it to exsil when she was married to gfgbro!) but we give it away as a mix and it is always enjoyed. Most grocery stores have some things they are the lowest price on, and knowing this and buying ONLY those things can be a big help. One way to KNOW you are getting the best price is to start a price book. This summer with the big kids gone is the best time to start one. Take a notebook and write down 20-30 grocery items that are staples. Leave a line or 2 between each item. Draw a vertical line to make a column for each grocery store on each page. Go to the store and write the price for each item down. When you go to the other stores, write their price for each item down (be sure to include how many ounces/pounds/etc... so you can compare the prices accurately). All summer, add ten or twenty items to the book each time you shop. Check to make sure that you are buying items at the lowest possible price and you can save hundreds on groceries. It doesn't take much time once you get used to it, and it sure winds up saving a lot more than min wage would pay if you worked the amt of time you spend on the book. Start a list of things you enjoy that don't cost anything or cost very little. Focus on doing these things that enrich your life and you may be surprised at how rich your life is even when you don't have much money. I did this with my husband because he would have pity parties about not being able to afford this or that. We both found that we enjoyed a cheap movie more than a full price one, playing a game together or going for a walk more than going to window shop, and the 'little things' like listening to our kids tell us a story more than buying any item for any price. Having that list allowed us to not feel deprived. in my opinion that is a big part of the problem with money - it can take your focus off of the thigns that matter like hearing your child laugh, Know what I mean?? Yes, having enough to pay the bills is important, but it is also important to be able to enjoy other things. For household items, check out freecycle.org. No one keeps track of if you give or get, nothing costs money or is a trade, you just post htings you don't want, ask for things you need, and accept offers for things you ask for or other people offer that they don't want. It is wonderful and keeps stuff out of the landfills. For phones, consider pay as you go. Net10 has been hands down the cheapest around here, though once TracFone offered triple minutes they also became very inexpensive. I get 750 min per month for $25 or 200 for $20. The 750 do not roll to the next month, but any unused of the 200 for twenty bucks does. Internet stuff is billed as minutes so you can go online if you have a phone that does that. You can get a cheap phone for ten or so, and a fancier one for twenty to forty dollars. It is vastly better than the contracts around here, and the service seems more reliable and clear here also. My folks use ATT and we can barely understand them sometimes, and leaving voicemail for them? Often they get it a week later! That happens no matter if we use ATT or ANY other carrier or a land line to leave the message. It is obnoxious. I hope you can find a way to enjoy your weekend, and I would choose another day to have a Birthday Do=Over. Make sure you do something you ENJOY that day, and it isn't a day you drop your kids off for months away from you. (((((Hugs)))) ps. I meant it when I offered to share recipes for mixes with you. Just let me know if you want them, and what mixes you often buy. [/QUOTE]
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