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Birthmom is now "Mom"
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<blockquote data-quote="mstang67chic" data-source="post: 139858" data-attributes="member: 2459"><p>You know, sometimes I SWEAR that all of our difficult child's are sometimes psychically linked. I don't know if you've seen some of my recent posts but we're going through something similar with our difficult child and his desire to be with his egg donor as well as the rest of his "real" family. </p><p></p><p>Ours is a slighty different situation as we got difficult child when he was 9 and adopted him when he was 10. I sometimes wonder if he and I would have a better bond had we gotten him when he was considerably younger. Then I look at him, living in his heavily rose tinted world that is full of entitlement, narcissim and fantasy and snort. </p><p></p><p>Of course, I'm sure I had a pair of rose colored glasses myself when we got him. Especially after taking the classes required though the agency we went through, I knew that love wouldn't be enough. There was going to at least be a honeymoon period, and then a testing period. But I thought (hoped?) that once we got through that, we would be a "real" family. Of course, reality came along fairly quickly and whacked me upside the head. Had I known about these things at the time, I should have heard warning bells when difficult child started calling me mom 3 hours into a 2 week stay the day after we first laid eyes on him. And at that time, he had no idea that he was going to be living with us. All he knew was that we were keeping him while his foster mom was on vacation. Ahhhhh....the total bliss of complete and utter ignorance. Sometimes I miss those days. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite11" alt=":rolleyes:" title="Roll Eyes :rolleyes:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":rolleyes:" /></p><p></p><p>When these kids get this idealized fantasy in their head, there's nothing we can really do but guide them, and be there to catch them when they hit the ground with a teeth jarring thud of reality. Granted, that's only if they come to us after that happens. She may continue to treat you in the same dismissive manner or she may actually open her eyes to what she has. Even being in the middle of this myself, I really don't know what to tell you. I understand, I empathize but I don't know what to say. Sending lots and lots of Hugs. Hang in there...you never know what will happen.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mstang67chic, post: 139858, member: 2459"] You know, sometimes I SWEAR that all of our difficult child's are sometimes psychically linked. I don't know if you've seen some of my recent posts but we're going through something similar with our difficult child and his desire to be with his egg donor as well as the rest of his "real" family. Ours is a slighty different situation as we got difficult child when he was 9 and adopted him when he was 10. I sometimes wonder if he and I would have a better bond had we gotten him when he was considerably younger. Then I look at him, living in his heavily rose tinted world that is full of entitlement, narcissim and fantasy and snort. Of course, I'm sure I had a pair of rose colored glasses myself when we got him. Especially after taking the classes required though the agency we went through, I knew that love wouldn't be enough. There was going to at least be a honeymoon period, and then a testing period. But I thought (hoped?) that once we got through that, we would be a "real" family. Of course, reality came along fairly quickly and whacked me upside the head. Had I known about these things at the time, I should have heard warning bells when difficult child started calling me mom 3 hours into a 2 week stay the day after we first laid eyes on him. And at that time, he had no idea that he was going to be living with us. All he knew was that we were keeping him while his foster mom was on vacation. Ahhhhh....the total bliss of complete and utter ignorance. Sometimes I miss those days. :rolleye: When these kids get this idealized fantasy in their head, there's nothing we can really do but guide them, and be there to catch them when they hit the ground with a teeth jarring thud of reality. Granted, that's only if they come to us after that happens. She may continue to treat you in the same dismissive manner or she may actually open her eyes to what she has. Even being in the middle of this myself, I really don't know what to tell you. I understand, I empathize but I don't know what to say. Sending lots and lots of Hugs. Hang in there...you never know what will happen. [/QUOTE]
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