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General Parenting
Birthmom is now "Mom"
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<blockquote data-quote="SaraT" data-source="post: 139910" data-attributes="member: 2270"><p>Nancy,</p><p> </p><p>Please don't take this wrong, but I am also adopted and just thought I'd let you know where difficult child may be coming from. It may help your heart.</p><p> </p><p>I am not difficult child, but I am adopted. When I hit my teenage years I became curious of birth parents, especially bm, and wanted to know. I had a lot of questions that needed answered. You sound like you have some of those answers, but maybe difficult child needs to hear it from BM. Mom/daughter relationship is very tense in the teen years, even with easy child kids, and those of us that are adopted sometimes feel we don't belong in the family.(Irrational I know, but teens don't think clearly, at least I didn't). The process of finding bm, talking to her and then finding boyfriend did fill the hole I felt from not knowing. Unfortunately it did hurt my mother, and I didn't realize it until a year or so later. I then had a long talk with her and we repaired our relationship. We are now closer then we ever were when I was a teen.</p><p> </p><p>I hope difficult child gets her answers and curiousity needs filled. Then the hole of something missing(a feeling we adopted tend to have) will also be filled.(At least mine was.)</p><p> </p><p>Hopefully she will then see how good a mom YOU are and begin to heal your relationship. </p><p> </p><p>I am sorry you are hurting. </p><p> </p><p>Hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SaraT, post: 139910, member: 2270"] Nancy, Please don't take this wrong, but I am also adopted and just thought I'd let you know where difficult child may be coming from. It may help your heart. I am not difficult child, but I am adopted. When I hit my teenage years I became curious of birth parents, especially bm, and wanted to know. I had a lot of questions that needed answered. You sound like you have some of those answers, but maybe difficult child needs to hear it from BM. Mom/daughter relationship is very tense in the teen years, even with easy child kids, and those of us that are adopted sometimes feel we don't belong in the family.(Irrational I know, but teens don't think clearly, at least I didn't). The process of finding bm, talking to her and then finding boyfriend did fill the hole I felt from not knowing. Unfortunately it did hurt my mother, and I didn't realize it until a year or so later. I then had a long talk with her and we repaired our relationship. We are now closer then we ever were when I was a teen. I hope difficult child gets her answers and curiousity needs filled. Then the hole of something missing(a feeling we adopted tend to have) will also be filled.(At least mine was.) Hopefully she will then see how good a mom YOU are and begin to heal your relationship. I am sorry you are hurting. Hugs. [/QUOTE]
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