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Birthparents issues with adopted kids
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<blockquote data-quote="Woofens" data-source="post: 221212" data-attributes="member: 4425"><p>MWM, I wanted to PM this to you but got a message that said you had disabled PM's. </p><p></p><p>My mom left my bio-dad when I was 6 months old. He was a major difficult child. (my mom is too in her own way). I didn't have any contact with my bio-dad until I turned 18. As a kid about your daughters age, I wanted more than anything to get to know my bio-dad. My mothers 2nd husband adopted me when I was 3, and made a deal with bio-dad that he would not try to contact me until I was 18. For a LONG time I was so angry at my mother for keeping me away from him. Now, as an adult, in a very similar situation with easy child's S and T that my mom was in with me and my bio-dad, I can see that she did what was best for me, even though it took me years to realize it. I know that someday my girls are going to want to know their bio-dad. They will not until they are at least 18 if I have any say in it at all. I don't talk badly about bio-dad around them, but they do know that he left us without anything, and never looked back, that he threatened to kill me and hide them away. They know that he has 4 other children that he doesn't pay child support on either. The only reason they know what they do is because even though it has been almost 10 years, I still worry about him finding us. They have to know so that they are never tempted to go with someone that says he is their "real" dad. </p><p></p><p>I say stick to your guns, make her wait until she is 18. 12 is such a hard age for girls anyway, I can't see it helping her any to know her bio-mom now. JMHO.</p><p></p><p>Jan</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Woofens, post: 221212, member: 4425"] MWM, I wanted to PM this to you but got a message that said you had disabled PM's. My mom left my bio-dad when I was 6 months old. He was a major difficult child. (my mom is too in her own way). I didn't have any contact with my bio-dad until I turned 18. As a kid about your daughters age, I wanted more than anything to get to know my bio-dad. My mothers 2nd husband adopted me when I was 3, and made a deal with bio-dad that he would not try to contact me until I was 18. For a LONG time I was so angry at my mother for keeping me away from him. Now, as an adult, in a very similar situation with easy child's S and T that my mom was in with me and my bio-dad, I can see that she did what was best for me, even though it took me years to realize it. I know that someday my girls are going to want to know their bio-dad. They will not until they are at least 18 if I have any say in it at all. I don't talk badly about bio-dad around them, but they do know that he left us without anything, and never looked back, that he threatened to kill me and hide them away. They know that he has 4 other children that he doesn't pay child support on either. The only reason they know what they do is because even though it has been almost 10 years, I still worry about him finding us. They have to know so that they are never tempted to go with someone that says he is their "real" dad. I say stick to your guns, make her wait until she is 18. 12 is such a hard age for girls anyway, I can't see it helping her any to know her bio-mom now. JMHO. Jan [/QUOTE]
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