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Black and White thinking on Islamic parenting from my son
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 651134" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Oh. M. G.</p><p>Eye roll.</p><p>Part of conversation last night:</p><p>"You should do what H's parents do, like they do in Islam. They listen. They don't take away things."</p><p>(Hmm, note to self: The Saudi Islamic Sharia law of cutting off one's hand for thievery is not taking away anything.)</p><p></p><p>Backstory: difficult child's new girlfriend is Muslim, born in Iraq. She has been in the U.S. for many years and hardly has an accent. She wears jeans and a small hijab, which she typically hides under a pink hoodie. She is a HS sr. She got her license the same day that difficult child did. She is a straight A student. She is totally rebellious and in my humble opinion, difficult child is Haraam (forbidden/sinful) and that's his only appeal. She is not allowed to date. They do not go to movies or out to eat. They just meet at our house, on the pretense that she is at the library. Or they meet at school, in the real library. Or she drives him where ever he wants to go. To him, she is exotic and exciting, and she also has a car. Important, since we took away his car.</p><p></p><p>"So all those years you took away my GameBoy, and my PS2 to punish me, I didn't learn anything. It just taught me to be a better liar. It's the same thing with the car. It doesn't teach me anything except to take the bus and go through a bad neighborhood. And I'm going to do what I want anyway."</p><p>(In point of fact, he was addicted and we had to limit his time, so it had nothing to do with lying.)</p><p>"It's our car. Our gas. Our insurance. It may not teach you anything for us to take it away when you abuse your privileges, but it will save us money and court costs if you smash the car, or get pulled over for drinking and driving, or smoking weed and driving."</p><p>"I agree, it's your car. You can take it away. Fine. I'm just saying, you should sit down and talk with me and listen. Really listen to my side. You act like I'm inferior and that I'm always lying."</p><p>"You just told me you have learned to be a better liar ... which is it?"</p><p>"That's not what I meant. H's parents don't take things away. They have never, ever, ever taken away her phone or her car. And she talks back to them. She yelled at her dad and mom and they backed down. And they listened. That's how they do it in Islam."</p><p></p><p>"How do you know that her parents aren't just wusses?" I asked.</p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/felttip/wink-very.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":wink-very:" title="wink-very :wink-very:" data-shortname=":wink-very:" /><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/felttip/yeah.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":yeah:" title="yeah :yeah:" data-shortname=":yeah:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 651134, member: 3419"] Oh. M. G. Eye roll. Part of conversation last night: "You should do what H's parents do, like they do in Islam. They listen. They don't take away things." (Hmm, note to self: The Saudi Islamic Sharia law of cutting off one's hand for thievery is not taking away anything.) Backstory: difficult child's new girlfriend is Muslim, born in Iraq. She has been in the U.S. for many years and hardly has an accent. She wears jeans and a small hijab, which she typically hides under a pink hoodie. She is a HS sr. She got her license the same day that difficult child did. She is a straight A student. She is totally rebellious and in my humble opinion, difficult child is Haraam (forbidden/sinful) and that's his only appeal. She is not allowed to date. They do not go to movies or out to eat. They just meet at our house, on the pretense that she is at the library. Or they meet at school, in the real library. Or she drives him where ever he wants to go. To him, she is exotic and exciting, and she also has a car. Important, since we took away his car. "So all those years you took away my GameBoy, and my PS2 to punish me, I didn't learn anything. It just taught me to be a better liar. It's the same thing with the car. It doesn't teach me anything except to take the bus and go through a bad neighborhood. And I'm going to do what I want anyway." (In point of fact, he was addicted and we had to limit his time, so it had nothing to do with lying.) "It's our car. Our gas. Our insurance. It may not teach you anything for us to take it away when you abuse your privileges, but it will save us money and court costs if you smash the car, or get pulled over for drinking and driving, or smoking weed and driving." "I agree, it's your car. You can take it away. Fine. I'm just saying, you should sit down and talk with me and listen. Really listen to my side. You act like I'm inferior and that I'm always lying." "You just told me you have learned to be a better liar ... which is it?" "That's not what I meant. H's parents don't take things away. They have never, ever, ever taken away her phone or her car. And she talks back to them. She yelled at her dad and mom and they backed down. And they listened. That's how they do it in Islam." "How do you know that her parents aren't just wusses?" I asked. :wink-very::yeah: [/QUOTE]
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