F
flutterbee
Guest
I'm having a major pity party right now. And for no good reason, either, other than I can I guess.
There isn't a part of me that doesn't hurt. And do you know what I did today to cause that? I vacuumed the living room and hall, I loaded the dishwasher, I picked up the clutter on the kitchen table and I wiped down the counters. That's it. Can hardly stand. Can't lift anything with my right arm. Even typing is hard.
Got an envelope in the mail from my new rheumy which was just information on hip bursitis that he forgot to give me while I was there. That was nice of him, wasn't it? Except that I'm reading it and it says that without treatment it can last for months. Well, I've had it for YEARS. And it says to rest the hip. If I rest it anymore, I'd have to be in a coma. Ice and heat. Been there, done that. Steroid injection. Did that, too.
From him touching my shoulder last Thursday, it's been all flared up. And it wasn't bad at all until then. It was feeling better for 2 days so I vacuumed. Big mistake. Shooting pain all the way down my arm. Then walking outside and my left heel just starts hurting so bad that my son had to help me in the house. Great. So tendonitis, there too now??? Let's see...both hips, plus the bone just above the hiney, right shoulder, right knee, funky muscle thing in my right arm, right ankle, right hand and now left ankle.
And all the sleeping I was doing? The 12-16 hours a day. Well, that's stopped which is a good thing because that was miserable. Except that now I'm getting about 5 hours a night tops. And it's interrupted.
Every time I go to the doctor there's another pound or two that wasn't there before. I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror. I never ever used to have a weight issue. At least not this way. I couldn't keep weight ON. And my acne is worse than it's ever been. Not on my face, though. Neck, arms, back. Areas where it's just really gross to see it. None of the treatments - even the prescription - are doing a thing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. I don't even want to go out in public.
easy child is leaving this weekend to go to his dad's and I really don't want him to go. I never want him to go, but this time he really doesn't want to go either and it just makes it that much harder. I miss him terribly when he's not here. I worry about how much cr@p he's putting up with from his dad and how miserable he is. Last summer he was im'ing me everyday and was so upset the whole time. My mom asked me what I was going to do if he moves out in a year. Asked her if she lost her mind; he's not moving out.
I think I really need a good cry. But I can't. Guess I can thank the lexapro for that.
There isn't a part of me that doesn't hurt. And do you know what I did today to cause that? I vacuumed the living room and hall, I loaded the dishwasher, I picked up the clutter on the kitchen table and I wiped down the counters. That's it. Can hardly stand. Can't lift anything with my right arm. Even typing is hard.
Got an envelope in the mail from my new rheumy which was just information on hip bursitis that he forgot to give me while I was there. That was nice of him, wasn't it? Except that I'm reading it and it says that without treatment it can last for months. Well, I've had it for YEARS. And it says to rest the hip. If I rest it anymore, I'd have to be in a coma. Ice and heat. Been there, done that. Steroid injection. Did that, too.
From him touching my shoulder last Thursday, it's been all flared up. And it wasn't bad at all until then. It was feeling better for 2 days so I vacuumed. Big mistake. Shooting pain all the way down my arm. Then walking outside and my left heel just starts hurting so bad that my son had to help me in the house. Great. So tendonitis, there too now??? Let's see...both hips, plus the bone just above the hiney, right shoulder, right knee, funky muscle thing in my right arm, right ankle, right hand and now left ankle.
And all the sleeping I was doing? The 12-16 hours a day. Well, that's stopped which is a good thing because that was miserable. Except that now I'm getting about 5 hours a night tops. And it's interrupted.
Every time I go to the doctor there's another pound or two that wasn't there before. I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror. I never ever used to have a weight issue. At least not this way. I couldn't keep weight ON. And my acne is worse than it's ever been. Not on my face, though. Neck, arms, back. Areas where it's just really gross to see it. None of the treatments - even the prescription - are doing a thing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. I don't even want to go out in public.
easy child is leaving this weekend to go to his dad's and I really don't want him to go. I never want him to go, but this time he really doesn't want to go either and it just makes it that much harder. I miss him terribly when he's not here. I worry about how much cr@p he's putting up with from his dad and how miserable he is. Last summer he was im'ing me everyday and was so upset the whole time. My mom asked me what I was going to do if he moves out in a year. Asked her if she lost her mind; he's not moving out.
I think I really need a good cry. But I can't. Guess I can thank the lexapro for that.