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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 561642" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>I'm sorry if I can't get my words quite right. But honestly, do not think too much about not being a biological mother. Do not romanticise biological motherhood. Yeah, there may be some biological mothers somewhere who feel and connect in an intuitive way to their babies (and toddlers, certainly not to their teenagers, I think) and some more who will claim that. But to us others- no, nope, really not. I once thought I had an intuitive connection to easy child as a baby and that it was because of my parenting philosophy (attachment parenting by Sears model and all that) but later I'm quite sure that it was just that easy child just happened to be very easy, flexible and happy baby.</p><p></p><p>J is J, his own person. I don't think he would be that much different, if he had stayed with his biological mother (assuming she would had been able to be as good parent as you to him.) He is a smart little boy. He does know that claiming you not to be his mom gets a reaction, even if you are good at hiding it. It's his winning card and he is going to use it. The less you react to it, the better.</p><p></p><p>Yes, he will have identity issues, some because of adoption, but more likely bigger ones that come from him being from three different cultures. His mom is a Brit, his dad is a Moroccan and he is a French (mostly and at least in this moment.) That is quite a lot of identities to think through. It will not be bad for him, but he has to give it quite a lot extra thought compared to many of his friends.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 561642, member: 14557"] I'm sorry if I can't get my words quite right. But honestly, do not think too much about not being a biological mother. Do not romanticise biological motherhood. Yeah, there may be some biological mothers somewhere who feel and connect in an intuitive way to their babies (and toddlers, certainly not to their teenagers, I think) and some more who will claim that. But to us others- no, nope, really not. I once thought I had an intuitive connection to easy child as a baby and that it was because of my parenting philosophy (attachment parenting by Sears model and all that) but later I'm quite sure that it was just that easy child just happened to be very easy, flexible and happy baby. J is J, his own person. I don't think he would be that much different, if he had stayed with his biological mother (assuming she would had been able to be as good parent as you to him.) He is a smart little boy. He does know that claiming you not to be his mom gets a reaction, even if you are good at hiding it. It's his winning card and he is going to use it. The less you react to it, the better. Yes, he will have identity issues, some because of adoption, but more likely bigger ones that come from him being from three different cultures. His mom is a Brit, his dad is a Moroccan and he is a French (mostly and at least in this moment.) That is quite a lot of identities to think through. It will not be bad for him, but he has to give it quite a lot extra thought compared to many of his friends. [/QUOTE]
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