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<blockquote data-quote="LittleDudesMom" data-source="post: 488510" data-attributes="member: 805"><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">I'm going to speak from your nephew's perspective, not a parent or adult's. If the boy had anger issues, it's a no brainer that this would set him off. He is embarrassed and feeling harassed. It doesn't matter that he is responsible for his actions. In this case, he doesn't see it that way. He "paid his price to society", but now his family was making fun of him. I believe that is where he is coming from. No one is looking at it from his perspective.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Withholding Christmas gifts is acting just as juvenile as he is. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Were I you, and you seem to have a reasonable relationship with him, I would invite him over when there aren't any distractions. Let him know that you do understand why he is angry -- in your opinion it wasn't the right thing to do -- but his aunt and grandmother thought they were doing him a favor by capturing a time in his life that he wouldn't want to repeat. They thought it was a picture they could give him so he could "keep his eyes on the prize". Sometimes family thinks from a place of the heart, doing what they believe is best, but sometimes the brain doesn't come into play! They had no intent to hurt or degrade him but they are hurt now just as he is.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Don't tell him he needs to move on, he will do that when he feels it's justified. I think just talking to him straight, maybe with a little humor, will let him see the situation from a different perspective. If he doesn't feel threatened or scolded, he might, just might see this situation differently.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Sharon</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'comic sans ms'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LittleDudesMom, post: 488510, member: 805"] [FONT=comic sans ms][SIZE=3]I'm going to speak from your nephew's perspective, not a parent or adult's. If the boy had anger issues, it's a no brainer that this would set him off. He is embarrassed and feeling harassed. It doesn't matter that he is responsible for his actions. In this case, he doesn't see it that way. He "paid his price to society", but now his family was making fun of him. I believe that is where he is coming from. No one is looking at it from his perspective. Withholding Christmas gifts is acting just as juvenile as he is. Were I you, and you seem to have a reasonable relationship with him, I would invite him over when there aren't any distractions. Let him know that you do understand why he is angry -- in your opinion it wasn't the right thing to do -- but his aunt and grandmother thought they were doing him a favor by capturing a time in his life that he wouldn't want to repeat. They thought it was a picture they could give him so he could "keep his eyes on the prize". Sometimes family thinks from a place of the heart, doing what they believe is best, but sometimes the brain doesn't come into play! They had no intent to hurt or degrade him but they are hurt now just as he is. Don't tell him he needs to move on, he will do that when he feels it's justified. I think just talking to him straight, maybe with a little humor, will let him see the situation from a different perspective. If he doesn't feel threatened or scolded, he might, just might see this situation differently. Sharon [/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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