Thank you everyone. Whew! I'm slowly calming down, with the help of a ativan and after hours of emotional hades.
S/O and I were literally steps away from heading out to travel to the city where court is set for 9a.m. tomorrow when I received a text from the investigating officer saying do not leave town, court is being adjourned, she was as confused as me and would contact me as soon as she found answers. Not one minute later my cell rang from the crown attorneys assistant while my land line was ringing at the very same time from the victims services liason. I felt under siege with all of these contacts but nobody had answers. After many back and forth calls, broken hearted sobbing call from my aunt in between, we have few answers and many more questions.
About 1pm the crown attorneys office had a fax from his attorney simply saying he could not attend court and sought to adjourn until June 28. Now this is NOT protocol, NOT acceptable by the system and we were all told that in 8 years since she worked there, the crown attorneys assistant has never heard of a attorney doing this, daring to do this, crazy enough to pull this, not 18 hours away from a clients sentence hearing and being taken into custody for transport to a penitentiary. It's complicated enough to not type it all here, but one of two things is happening. Either A) attorney has a dang good reason (family emergency or death) BUT it would be insane to not alert crown attorney as to the reason, and NO reason has been provided. or B) what we all think is likely: attorney cannot reach my father and is uncertain as to his status. Perhaps he skipped town, or he has done what all expected and took his own life rather than be incarcerated. There are good reasons pointing to him having no "means" to skip town and run. There are many good reasons why we have all been shocked he has not took his own life. We had been shocked to get to today and have him among the living.
Again its hard to explain the legalities and boy I'm just drained and not up to the challenge. But tomorrow despite the lawyer not attending court, my father is still obligated to attend at 9a.m. Even though if he shows, it will be adjourned until June 28. His lawyer CAN submit a particular form to the court to permit my father not attending. It would need to have been submitted by 5pm. As of 4pm, nobody was aware of a filing from his attorney, meaning my father is obligated to attend tomorrow morning in person or be in violation of bail as well as have a charge laid for failure to appear. A bench warrant would then be issued. There are things that are assumptions, but based on logic etc, that point to perhaps his lawyer wanted to warn us all today without violating attorney client priveledge and ensure we didn't travel so far etc when he can't even find his client. Then by avoiding appearing himself, he ensures if my father is still MIA, the warrant is sworn and the police take over and pick my father up, or alternately, discover him in his apartment if he has ended his life. Logic says police could be requested by attorney to safety check his apartment now, but that would indicate his client has been unreachable, which is a bail violation, and thus he would be implicating his client and the law prevents him from doing so.
We could be all wrong, maybe attorney has some serious emergency and was insane enough to not make that clear to the crown. But the man isn't an idiot, he has a licence to protect. And Im told he has no reputation for being shady or playing dirty with the law or courts.
So here I am, still at home with my S/O. A emotional wreck and weary beyond weary. I can truly say this past few days has been like hades, the most difficult emotional period of my life, trying to stay strong and focused and willing to jump into this painful fire so that I could put it behind me after tomorrow. I truly at this point hope he is dead. Because I do not think I can again, in a couple of months, spend days again preparing for the emotional battle. I had no idea this had required every last resource I have. The price is simply too high. I will likely not attend if he is to be sentenced in a couple months. I have to put this behind me. My sanity depends on me.
I will know at latest, sometime tomorrow. The police investigator is phenomenal and she is attending court anyhow, so she can see if he turns up, and to be able to speedily issue a warrant if she is able to and has cause, and then she can alert his local police so they can immediately go check out his residence. Meanwhile, we are all geared up for the big battle and someone has cancelled the war. Our emotional states are all beyond raw. I had to actually wind up a call from my aunt. We were both such a mess that I don't think it was helping either of us to vent to each other, it was probably making us fall deeper into despair and darkness. I did call her back a few minutes ago after we had a few hours to absorb this all, just to check on her and tell her that I love her. We both are better than when we spoke earlier. We also are both so raw and disillusioned and the mystery of the entire rapidly devolving events is the worst part of it all.
This chapter was meant to be ending and man I needed that. My sanity and peace of mind and well being depends on it. Not having answers is the worst thing ever. I'm clinging to the thought we shall have some answers, even if unsatisfactory ones, tomorrow.
I hope this isn't true. Sending out my thoughts from here on to.....
