What can a parent do when living with your difficult child has deteriorated to the point that she doesn't want to be here and the feeling is mutual? She hasn't gotten physically abusive but is verbally and emotionally abusive to us and her younger sister. I looked up boarding homes/schools and we can not afford them. The cheapest I found was $1,500 a month. That is over half our income. We have BCBS but I don't think getting insurance to pay for respite or theraputic Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is an option. The neuropsychologist did not come up with any concrete diagnosis except that she is extremely difficult to deal with. But found no brain abnomalities. And... maybe she would outgrow it by age 23. I can't wait that long!
She lies, sneaks out, hangs with the wrong kids, and sees nothing wrong with it. She is defiant and won't accept responsibility for her actions and defies us. I really have no options for sending her to other relatives. My son (her biodad) is doing pretty good now, (she was removed from mom/dad at age 5 and we adopted at age 7) but he only has a one bedroom house and works long hours so there would be even less supervision if we even considered that. Not sure what the courts would think since they removed the kids from her parents to begin with. Biomom is out of the picture.
Where does one go for help? She doesn't like the therapist we have seen for the last year, she won't talk to the therapist we had before her, as he attends our church. I can't have a conversation with difficult child with out her getting all defensive and telling me to just back off and let her do what she wants. Not going to happen. husband removed her bedroom door last night because of the slamming... it had been off for a while because the wooden frame was splitting from all the slamming. He had reinforced it with more wood and screws and had it back up for a while and she slammed it multiple times last night. I think she snuck downstairs last night to call her boyfriend as it started raining and husband went upstairs to close windows and she wasn't in her bed at 3am. On his way down the stairs, whe was coming up and pretending that she had fallen asleep on the couch. She was in bed at 1130pm last night so I really don't believe her story. I guess we will have to take the phone cord off when we go to bed and then keep the cordless one in our bedroom. She had started hiding the cordless one in her room... husband found it once inside a pillow case with two more pillows piled on top of it.
Just so tired of all this koi. School starts in a week... and then she will be back in with the "misfits" she calls friends. IF the school lets them back in after being expelled last spring...
Little sis isn't dealing with the stress too well either. I know it is hard for us adults and she is a sensitive child. She tries to be the peacemaker but gets the brunt of her sisters anger lots of time.
Anyway... any ideas??? KSM
ps - the bio at the bottom is outdated and the times I tried it wouldn't update. difficult child is now 15yrs old. daughter#2 is 13.
She lies, sneaks out, hangs with the wrong kids, and sees nothing wrong with it. She is defiant and won't accept responsibility for her actions and defies us. I really have no options for sending her to other relatives. My son (her biodad) is doing pretty good now, (she was removed from mom/dad at age 5 and we adopted at age 7) but he only has a one bedroom house and works long hours so there would be even less supervision if we even considered that. Not sure what the courts would think since they removed the kids from her parents to begin with. Biomom is out of the picture.
Where does one go for help? She doesn't like the therapist we have seen for the last year, she won't talk to the therapist we had before her, as he attends our church. I can't have a conversation with difficult child with out her getting all defensive and telling me to just back off and let her do what she wants. Not going to happen. husband removed her bedroom door last night because of the slamming... it had been off for a while because the wooden frame was splitting from all the slamming. He had reinforced it with more wood and screws and had it back up for a while and she slammed it multiple times last night. I think she snuck downstairs last night to call her boyfriend as it started raining and husband went upstairs to close windows and she wasn't in her bed at 3am. On his way down the stairs, whe was coming up and pretending that she had fallen asleep on the couch. She was in bed at 1130pm last night so I really don't believe her story. I guess we will have to take the phone cord off when we go to bed and then keep the cordless one in our bedroom. She had started hiding the cordless one in her room... husband found it once inside a pillow case with two more pillows piled on top of it.
Just so tired of all this koi. School starts in a week... and then she will be back in with the "misfits" she calls friends. IF the school lets them back in after being expelled last spring...
Little sis isn't dealing with the stress too well either. I know it is hard for us adults and she is a sensitive child. She tries to be the peacemaker but gets the brunt of her sisters anger lots of time.
Anyway... any ideas??? KSM
ps - the bio at the bottom is outdated and the times I tried it wouldn't update. difficult child is now 15yrs old. daughter#2 is 13.
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