Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Bonding out - scary
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 146779" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>Others of us will have different takes on this, Stands. The way I see it, your son has made his choice.</p><p></p><p>Drug use is a choice against the family.</p><p></p><p>I would not revoke his bond ~ but that is just me.</p><p></p><p>There have been more times than not Stands, long nights when husband and I have had to steel ourselves for that phone call we dread. </p><p></p><p>That call has never come for us ~ not yet.</p><p></p><p>And so, there is still hope.</p><p></p><p>You need to reach inside yourself, Susan. The strength is there.</p><p></p><p>Until you receive that final phone call, there is hope. Nothing your son chooses to do can change your assessment of the problem or your response to it.</p><p></p><p>If you have your son home, he will use without restraint. This will destroy your family.</p><p></p><p>Your son cannot come home.</p><p></p><p>There is no comfort for the parents of an addicted child.</p><p></p><p>There is only hope.</p><p></p><p>And you need to be strong enough to give that hope to your family, so they can pull the pieces of their lives back together, whatever happens to this son, this brother or grandson, who is trapped in addiction.</p><p></p><p>There is no answer, Susan.</p><p></p><p>If you are not sleeping, you will need to deal with that. You must sleep, or your family will suffer.</p><p></p><p>Fran said it best, in one of her posts. Something about the mother being the spindle around which the family coalesces, the person from whom the family takes their identities, the person who teaches them how to accept the unacceptable, who requires that they remember to love the one who is missing.</p><p></p><p>It is the mother who sets the emotional tone for her family.</p><p></p><p>(I added some of that stuff. Fran has the gift of an elegant simplicity, while I am so wordy sometimes that the concept is lost!)</p><p></p><p>If it helps you, make a list. Head it: Things I CAN Do</p><p></p><p>Arrange it from the simplest needs to the more complex. (Do you remember Maslow's Hierarchy?)</p><p></p><p>Then, one small step at a time, begin putting yourself, and your family, back on the path toward health.</p><p></p><p>You are strong enough, Susan.</p><p></p><p>No one else can help make sense of all this for your family like you can.</p><p></p><p>Love your son, love your family, keep going.</p><p></p><p>We are all still right here for you, when you need us.</p><p></p><p>You cannot make your son's choices for him. Once he has made his choice, you have to switch gears.</p><p></p><p>Now, it is all about survival.</p><p></p><p>Survival for you, and for your family.</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 146779, member: 1721"] Others of us will have different takes on this, Stands. The way I see it, your son has made his choice. Drug use is a choice against the family. I would not revoke his bond ~ but that is just me. There have been more times than not Stands, long nights when husband and I have had to steel ourselves for that phone call we dread. That call has never come for us ~ not yet. And so, there is still hope. You need to reach inside yourself, Susan. The strength is there. Until you receive that final phone call, there is hope. Nothing your son chooses to do can change your assessment of the problem or your response to it. If you have your son home, he will use without restraint. This will destroy your family. Your son cannot come home. There is no comfort for the parents of an addicted child. There is only hope. And you need to be strong enough to give that hope to your family, so they can pull the pieces of their lives back together, whatever happens to this son, this brother or grandson, who is trapped in addiction. There is no answer, Susan. If you are not sleeping, you will need to deal with that. You must sleep, or your family will suffer. Fran said it best, in one of her posts. Something about the mother being the spindle around which the family coalesces, the person from whom the family takes their identities, the person who teaches them how to accept the unacceptable, who requires that they remember to love the one who is missing. It is the mother who sets the emotional tone for her family. (I added some of that stuff. Fran has the gift of an elegant simplicity, while I am so wordy sometimes that the concept is lost!) If it helps you, make a list. Head it: Things I CAN Do Arrange it from the simplest needs to the more complex. (Do you remember Maslow's Hierarchy?) Then, one small step at a time, begin putting yourself, and your family, back on the path toward health. You are strong enough, Susan. No one else can help make sense of all this for your family like you can. Love your son, love your family, keep going. We are all still right here for you, when you need us. You cannot make your son's choices for him. Once he has made his choice, you have to switch gears. Now, it is all about survival. Survival for you, and for your family. Barbara [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Bonding out - scary
Top