I read a book over the weekend that so describes the struggles of our kids. I highly reccomend reading "An Unchanged Mind" by John McKinnon. This book not only helps you understand the dilemma of our kids and also how to help them. It was written by the founder of Montana Academy, a well known therapeutic boarding school. It tells many stories of kids who have gone there and how they were helped. The theories used by them can be used in a family therapy setting and also just shows you as a parent what they really need from you to make it through this time. It is a version of tough love to force these kids to mature as delayed maturity is really behind most of their struggles. Understanding and removing their barrier to maturing and then imposing very strict limits are the keys. Of the hundreds of kids who have been through there, many present with different symptoms; ie. substance abuse, ODD, bi-polar, the route of much of it is extreme immaturity and the cure....to "grow up". An interesting perspective. Another helpful book I read last week is Intervention: Anything but My Own Skin - by Chad Hepler. This book starts in the middle of the night when Chad was 17 and wisked away from his bedroom to go to Utah for rehab. Chad tells the story of how his drug use got to where it was, what he was experiencing at the time and his journey to recovery. It's a story of hope and helps you understand and lose some of the anger at your using child. Happy reading.