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<blockquote data-quote="Allan-Matlem" data-source="post: 313404" data-attributes="member: 10"><p>Hi,</p><p></p><p>The paradigm shift from ' doing to' my kid qnd trying to control him ( rewards, punishments , consequences etc ) to ' working with ' him , putting my relationship first with him, relaxing the atmosphere etc - collaborative problem solving came with reading the explosive child by Ross Greene. The CPS approach has developed over the years and the best book by Greene both for teachers and parents is ' Lost at school ' . The language of problem solving is prsesented the best over there. The site <a href="http://thinkkids.org" target="_blank">http://thinkkids.org</a> has plenty of info and videos on the approach. All of Alfie Kohn's writing especially Unconditional Parenting compliments CPS so well , check his site <a href="http://alfiekohn.org" target="_blank">http://alfiekohn.org</a> articles , books , intervews etc . Myrna Shure series teaches how to use dialog questions to promote thinking , reflection and relationship - check her site <a href="http://thinkingchild.com/" target="_blank">http://thinkingchild.com/</a>. I was already a fan of Edward de Bono - How to teach your child to think , so approaches that focus on kids problem solving and reflecting on the consequences of their actions on others , how to address their concerns in appropriate ways rather than asking what's in it for me -=reward and punishment fitted in with my approach to education and parenting. </p><p>The beauty of a working with approach is that it makes you more aware of yourself and your contribution to the dynamic which can be very empowering and a catalyst to a lot of growth. I need to thank my difficult child for this.</p><p></p><p>Allan</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Allan-Matlem, post: 313404, member: 10"] Hi, The paradigm shift from ' doing to' my kid qnd trying to control him ( rewards, punishments , consequences etc ) to ' working with ' him , putting my relationship first with him, relaxing the atmosphere etc - collaborative problem solving came with reading the explosive child by Ross Greene. The CPS approach has developed over the years and the best book by Greene both for teachers and parents is ' Lost at school ' . The language of problem solving is prsesented the best over there. The site [url]http://thinkkids.org[/url] has plenty of info and videos on the approach. All of Alfie Kohn's writing especially Unconditional Parenting compliments CPS so well , check his site [url]http://alfiekohn.org[/url] articles , books , intervews etc . Myrna Shure series teaches how to use dialog questions to promote thinking , reflection and relationship - check her site [url]http://thinkingchild.com/[/url]. I was already a fan of Edward de Bono - How to teach your child to think , so approaches that focus on kids problem solving and reflecting on the consequences of their actions on others , how to address their concerns in appropriate ways rather than asking what's in it for me -=reward and punishment fitted in with my approach to education and parenting. The beauty of a working with approach is that it makes you more aware of yourself and your contribution to the dynamic which can be very empowering and a catalyst to a lot of growth. I need to thank my difficult child for this. Allan [/QUOTE]
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