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Bordem at family meetings....!
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<blockquote data-quote="Bunny" data-source="post: 477138"><p>Sometimes, there are things that we just don't go to. I have a friend who thinks that I am wrong to do that, but she doesn't have any kids, let alone a difficult child, so she hasn't got a clue what it's like. </p><p></p><p>We stayed home last Christmas because the kids really wanted to stay home. We have never had Christmas here and the kids are getting to the age where they want to stay home and play with the stuff that they got, usually the hot new video game. husband's aunt refused to let me cook for the family, so we stayed home. She was bent out of shape about it, but actually I think that it was one of the least stressfull Christmas Days that I've ever had since difficult child was born.</p><p></p><p>For what it's worth, it tool my mother in law a very long time to understand what difficult child being a difficult child meant. He does not react to some things the way other, "normal" kids do. For the longest time difficult child behaved the way that he did because I didn't "mother him properly" and for the longest time I refused to talk to her about it. I told husband that if he wanted to give her a clue, it was fine by me, but I was not going to discuss it her. I was tired of hearing that it was all my fault (note that it was MY fault. Not her son's fault in any way because he's the perfect father). I think she finally came to see that his problems were not normal pre-teen issues when I told her that he once threatened to beat the **** out of me with a hockey stick. That was her moment, it was a long time coming. </p><p></p><p>I think understanding from people, especially family, who don't live it every dayis hard to come by. They don't get it. They don't see the signs that a meltdown is imminent, and the stress, and in me almost panic, that it brings. Sometimes you have to do whatever you need to do to get through something. If that meant leaving your mother in law's house, that is what you need to do. Life with a difficult child is tressfull enough. You should not have to worry about pleasing everyone else.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Bunny, post: 477138"] Sometimes, there are things that we just don't go to. I have a friend who thinks that I am wrong to do that, but she doesn't have any kids, let alone a difficult child, so she hasn't got a clue what it's like. We stayed home last Christmas because the kids really wanted to stay home. We have never had Christmas here and the kids are getting to the age where they want to stay home and play with the stuff that they got, usually the hot new video game. husband's aunt refused to let me cook for the family, so we stayed home. She was bent out of shape about it, but actually I think that it was one of the least stressfull Christmas Days that I've ever had since difficult child was born. For what it's worth, it tool my mother in law a very long time to understand what difficult child being a difficult child meant. He does not react to some things the way other, "normal" kids do. For the longest time difficult child behaved the way that he did because I didn't "mother him properly" and for the longest time I refused to talk to her about it. I told husband that if he wanted to give her a clue, it was fine by me, but I was not going to discuss it her. I was tired of hearing that it was all my fault (note that it was MY fault. Not her son's fault in any way because he's the perfect father). I think she finally came to see that his problems were not normal pre-teen issues when I told her that he once threatened to beat the **** out of me with a hockey stick. That was her moment, it was a long time coming. I think understanding from people, especially family, who don't live it every dayis hard to come by. They don't get it. They don't see the signs that a meltdown is imminent, and the stress, and in me almost panic, that it brings. Sometimes you have to do whatever you need to do to get through something. If that meant leaving your mother in law's house, that is what you need to do. Life with a difficult child is tressfull enough. You should not have to worry about pleasing everyone else. [/QUOTE]
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