Borderline Episode

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by exhausted, May 6, 2012.

  1. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    Don't know where to post this, but since you are the people who know me best... difficult child was suppose to work at 2:00 today. She stayed with her friend last night (one of the few friends we like). She texted her work and told them she was me and that she was sick and could not go to work, I was supposedly taking her to Instacare. Her boss called our house to confirm-she had a feeling I guess. I told her no I had not texted. I wanted so bad to tell the boss about difficult child-or at least some things, all I said is honesty is a big issue with her. The boss said we will work with her if she is honest-she is doing a good job here.

    In the mean time difficult child texted me that she was sick. We went to get difficult child emediately. She looked horrible (a crazy horrible not a sick horrible)and didn't want to get in the car. She started blaming me for being a crazy. Said she didn't want to go to work because someone had called her "lazy fat b$%^&". She said she told her boss and the girl just got a slap on the hand. This girl has done this before according to difficult child. difficult child felt like justice was not served. This is a typical pattern. She can't get through these events in any normal way. We tried to tell her that this is life and she does not have to let this girl take her down. Tried to get her to use a DBT skill-she refused. Then the cyclical, irrational conversation began. It's like she flipped a switch. She doesn't care, she hopes she goes to jail on the court date, she hates everything, it stopped short of a suicide threat which is where it usually goes.

    She then got on the phone and tried to get someone to talk to her. Noone home I guess. She is holed up in her room. She has that look in her eye. Next she will try to find someone to sexually act out with. She will sleep for a few hours, feel guilty and then try to find someone to have sex with. These episodes are almost psychotic.

    Every weekend something happens. Maybe jail is the only thing that will scare her into treatment again. She will always suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)-today firmed this up for me. She needs to have help and I can't get her to go anymore.
  2. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Oh I am so sorry she is doing this and you are going through this.... it really is crazy making isn't it. And it is so hard when you literally cannot believe a word they say. Is she still getting DBT treatment, from what I hear that is the best treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I don't know yet if my son will be diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or not, when he was in a psychiatric hospital here in Sept that was implied and from what I read it makes a whole lot of sense... I am hoping if they don't diagnose him with that they get a better understanding of his psychiatric issues where he is at now. I just feel for you.... and although the sexual acting out is different than drug abuse in some ways it is still so dangerous for her that it is downright scary.

  3. keista

    keista New Member

    (((((HUGS))))) My heart aches for both of you. I hope she eventually gets the help she needs.
  4. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    I hope she settles down tonight. It's very bizarre dealing with their circular thought processes and their histrionics and threats of suicide. It's no wonder you chose the screen name exhausted. I hope she uses DBT skills, as they're the only thing that seems to work. Take care of yourself.
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I am so very sorry. I feel your dtr's pain so well. Im not doing at all well myself lately. I am in a self destruct mode too. Life is pretty hard right now. Im sorry it is for you guys too.
  6. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    Janet please take care of yourself and don't self destruct. I know you can find yourself again.
    daughter had 9 months of intensive DBT residential treatment until this past Aug. She won't use the skills when she is having an episode.
    Sexual addiction is very much like substance abuse-the behaviors, the brain mechanism, everything. It is very dangerous when carried out by a young female with no regards to her life or safety. STD risks as well as abuse issues. It is another poor coping strategy which numbs the pain-same as drugs. difficult child told me she gets the same effect from sex as marijuana-the trouble is she has extreme shame following the sex which compounds things. All addictions do the same thing to familes.
  7. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    P.S. she found someone and took off a few hours ago. We tried to stop her but there was no way-Letting go and asking God for his protective hand.
  8. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I am so sorry. I have no words, only prayers for you and for your daughter and family. Hugs to you.
  9. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Hugs and love to you
  10. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Hope she returns safely. Just so sorry she is going through this. Will add to your prayers.
  11. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    I sure hope she gets home safely and I hate what she is putting you through. I agree addictions are similar in what they do to the brain chemistry and to families... I do think some addictions are more dangerous than others.... but it doesnt change what addictions do. And I totally agree that a sex addiction in a young woman is very dangerous and very very scary for you. Thinking about you.

  12. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    Thank you everybody. She returned at 1:30 last evening. Had been with a coworker who texted me and told me where she was. I don't know what sent her into the the episode really-something at work started the ball rolling. She said her new medication (metformin) is giving her stomach cramps, something we expected would have happen for awhile. Why couldn't she just be honest and say that instead of the lies? I think we are going to go voc. rehab and see what they can do. I fear she is not going to be a functioning adult-she is so sick at times, then flip the switch and she is a delight. I guess this is typical of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). So tired this a.m.-off to work and hope my students are good today!
  13. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thanks for the update, my heart so goes out to you. I hope your day turns out to be an easy one and when you return home you can have a peaceful and calm environment and get some well needed rest. Hugs to you.
  14. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Exhausted...I was the same way with sex when I was a teen. Honestly I dont know how many men (and women) I have slept with in my lifetime. I could probably give you a closer number on the The men just seemed to run together in a blur of faces. When I was actually in a committed relationship I was completely true to that guy but when we broke up it was peddle to the meddle because I felt like I had been thrown away like garbage so I had to go out and prove that I was the nothing I felt I was. I went through the latter part of the 70's in a rather smoke and sex filled haze.
  15. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    I don't know how I missed this. I am glad she is back. I am so sorry for the roller coaster yo are on with her behavior. My difficult child has done similar things -the sexual acting out sounds quite familiar. My daughter has no diagnosis and she - outwardly - appears ok, but she has taken off on more than one occasion with srangers and, like yours, seeks validation through sex as if it were (and it probably is) an addiction. I know - all too well - how frightening and so very frustrating it is. Young women who act out this way put themselves in so many risky situations. I wish I had some advise but all I can do is commiserate and pray for her.

    ps, Hugs to you Janet. Hang in there and know we're here for you.
  16. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    Janet-you give me hope. Please take care of you and remember the past is just that, we are here as Dash-cat says. I hope difficult child lives that long.

    She is at church volleyball tonight (this is good). She is stinkin mad at her boss and at husband and I still. She refuses to call her work back-says she reported a coworker who has been verbally aggresive and also keeps wackin the kids on the arm. This person has been suspended before. difficult child did not get justice so of course she doesn't want to work there. While I do not in anyway condone this shift leaders behavior-this is what you get at these fast food places. As for justice-I find it interesting that her coworkers behavior is unaceptable and the only right thing to do is fire her (Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) black and white thinking), but difficult children behavior of staying out all night or calling us at 1:30 in the morning to unlock the door is totally to be endured!!! She can't even connect the dots that not having a job when she goes to court will not be a good thing. ARRRRGGG! She truelly cannot make the connection-as intellegent as she is.