Borderline Personality Disorder

Discussion in 'Failure to Thrive' started by Maisy, Jun 16, 2016.

  1. Maisy

    Maisy Member

    Pretty sure that my son suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). He spent an hour verbally abusing me to and from a doctor appointment today. This has been happening more frequently and I seem to be his trigger. A previous therapist thought he had a personality disorder. I cannot take anymore of this but everything I read says that limits and tough love is really bad for Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). My husband and I agree that he cannot be at our home anymore but I don't want him to go off the deep end. My son is currently at his apartment which he never wants to stay at. I don't want him near me. He has been making noises about going to therapy but who knows if he will go or stick with it. He smokes pot which I don't agree with but says it helps with anxiety,Depression etc. My husband does not see a problem with it. He has a medication Doctor appointment next week with a psychiatrist but again, who knows if he will go or take the medications he is prescribed for depression etc. My husband and I plan on moving soon out of state so I believe this is a huge stressor for my son, even though he could move to the same state, if he chose to. His circle consists of us, his current girlfriend and a couple of inconsistent friends. Not sure how to deal with this situation and was wondering if anyone else deals with this, especially the Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Borderline is really hard to live with and most people who have it refuse to believe it and won't get help. The pot will do no good, but most borderline substance abuse in some way. There is a good book to help family members of borderline called Stop Walking on Eggshells by Paul Mason and Randi Kreger. I recommend buying it.

    You can order it on Amazon or go to a book store.

    Randi Kreger also has a support forum for borderline online. I think it's called borderline central. You'd have to look it up.

    I wish you the best. These people are very challenging and erratic and emotionally unstable. It does not really respond well to medication. The best therapy for Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is dialectical behavioral therapy, but it requires that the person knows he has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), desperately wants to change and will work very hard to do so. The person must be motivated. Normal therapy doesn't help borderline much, just as psychiatric medications don't. It's really up to the person to decide, "I am going to hunker down and do this because I really want to change."

    I hope he does not have it.
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2016
  3. Sister's Keeper

    Sister's Keeper Active Member

    Actually, I always thought that firm limit setting and tough love are exactly what is needed to keep the insanity at bay when dealing with a borderline.

    They are manipulative. Definitely the "if you give them an inch, they take a mile" type of people. I have always been taught that you really need to detach and not feed into the drama. That your dealings with them need to be matter of fact and unemotional.
  4. Maisy

    Maisy Member

    I appreciate everyone's input. It seems like this is all going from bad to worse with each new diagnosis. Any input from anyone who has dealt with an adult child with borderline would be appreciated. Not sure how to handle . My son is so abusive to me and I am trying to extricate myself and have my husband deal with him because he's much better at calming my son down. I have gotten to the point where I want to just move away on my own. My husband is telling my son that he cannot be at our home nor interact with me. My husband has agreed to spend one day a week with my son just to reassure him and keep tabs on him. I read everything I can and watch videos but so much info is from the perspective of the afflicted, not the parents and loved ones.
  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Stop Walking on.Eggshells is for family and friends.