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Bothered me so much I can't sleep (long)
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 171055"><p>Yep, I had to take back my home from my daughter. And it's been that way again the last few days. I feel like crappola and she started with 4 year old stuff within an hour of easy child getting home. I try not to engage, but I'm human. I semi-lost it this morning and told her (because we don't have anything she wants to eat - I am so beyond tired of this argument...we have so much food in this house I have nowhere left to put it) and I told her she could either find something to eat or she could go hungry and it didn't matter to me which one she chose. No mom of the year award here, but she's been pushing and pushing and pushing and I just gave out. We've been having this same exact argument multiple times a day since Sunday. Amazingly, she's always found something to eat. Imagine that.</p><p></p><p>I was thinking about this earlier. When we were little, my parents would hide a tape recorder on special events - birthdays, Christmas, etc - to have as a memory keepsake. You can learn a lot from going back and listening to those tapes. If you don't have a camcorder, just a tape recorder would do. Hide it and just record. We get so caught up in the moment and we miss triggers and signs our kids are giving that they are losing control and we can also go back and look at how we handled it and see what could be done differently. It would also be good to share with the therapist. Especially if the therapist blows off her comment to you as just being a kid. That statement was a really good insight into just how overwhelming her anger and frustration is and is a good starting point for the therapist to address. I still think revisiting the medications is a good idea.</p><p></p><p>I know how much this hurts. When easy child was 10 and was severely depressed, he would come to me out of the blue and very coldly say, "You know how much you say you love me? Well, that's how much I hate you." And just walk away. Yeah, that's a knife in the heart.</p><p></p><p>And to add to Sharon's idea about writing down when she has rages, difficult child's old therapist recommended a mood calendar. You don't have to get fancy and detailed. A smiley face for a good day, a frown face for a sad day, a straight lined mouth face for a so-so day, an angry face for a rage day. This way you can track it and it doesn't become overwhelming.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 171055"] Yep, I had to take back my home from my daughter. And it's been that way again the last few days. I feel like crappola and she started with 4 year old stuff within an hour of easy child getting home. I try not to engage, but I'm human. I semi-lost it this morning and told her (because we don't have anything she wants to eat - I am so beyond tired of this argument...we have so much food in this house I have nowhere left to put it) and I told her she could either find something to eat or she could go hungry and it didn't matter to me which one she chose. No mom of the year award here, but she's been pushing and pushing and pushing and I just gave out. We've been having this same exact argument multiple times a day since Sunday. Amazingly, she's always found something to eat. Imagine that. I was thinking about this earlier. When we were little, my parents would hide a tape recorder on special events - birthdays, Christmas, etc - to have as a memory keepsake. You can learn a lot from going back and listening to those tapes. If you don't have a camcorder, just a tape recorder would do. Hide it and just record. We get so caught up in the moment and we miss triggers and signs our kids are giving that they are losing control and we can also go back and look at how we handled it and see what could be done differently. It would also be good to share with the therapist. Especially if the therapist blows off her comment to you as just being a kid. That statement was a really good insight into just how overwhelming her anger and frustration is and is a good starting point for the therapist to address. I still think revisiting the medications is a good idea. I know how much this hurts. When easy child was 10 and was severely depressed, he would come to me out of the blue and very coldly say, "You know how much you say you love me? Well, that's how much I hate you." And just walk away. Yeah, that's a knife in the heart. And to add to Sharon's idea about writing down when she has rages, difficult child's old therapist recommended a mood calendar. You don't have to get fancy and detailed. A smiley face for a good day, a frown face for a sad day, a straight lined mouth face for a so-so day, an angry face for a rage day. This way you can track it and it doesn't become overwhelming. [/QUOTE]
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