Boy Crazy at 10

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Stella Johnson, Jul 24, 2007.

  1. Stella Johnson

    Stella Johnson Active Member

    difficult child had a little boyfriend last year. They only saw eachother on the bus and occassionally at recess. He was in trouble all the time so recess didn't happen much.

    Last night she was talking about meeting new boys at summer school that started today. She went on and on about how she wanted a new boyfriend. Asked me how she should get more boys to like her. :surprise:

    Today she came home at noon telling me about this great new boy she met. She said they talked about "everything". He had a girlfriend that wasn't nice just like she had a boyfriend that wasn't nice.... so now they are boyfriend and girlfriend. (Although difficult child doesn't know his name yet) She is horrible with names.

    It all seems to be still very innocent. She doesn't want to kiss boys on the mouth.She still thinks that is gross.

    This whole thing is just weird to me. I didn't care about boys until my senior year in high school. At 10 boys were gross.
    Boy do I feel old now. :smile:

  2. lynnp

    lynnp New Member

    Don't have any words of wisdom but I'm amazed at how young they are when it becomes "important" to have a boyfriend. Espcially since that at 10, boys don't seem to be very aware in that department. This sounds pretty normal to me, I love the fact that she doesn't know his name! :smile:
  3. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    One of the little 7yo girls in psychiatric hospital is "innapropriate" when it comes to boys... her poor Mom is trying to figure out how to deal with it and what kinds of restraints she can affectively use.
    Of course the counselors had no ideas!!!
    But I was thinking about this in regards to BiPolar (BP) kids and hypersexuality, so K comes home last week... all a' twitter about thank you... he is in full time psychiatric hospital... about 10yo cute. She really likes him she says. They have been hanging out. He helps her tie her shoes work on projects etc...
    I think he is just being nice to her and she gloms onto any BOY who is nice to her, which scares me...

    I didn't think I would have to think about this for so long either and here I am thinking about it and reading about it. YIKES...

    I am always interested in hearing what other Mom's are doing have done, besides locking our kids in there rooms forever... When I suggested that in group only the counselor thought it was funny!!! SHeesh I was joking, kind of!!!
  4. OpenWindow

    OpenWindow Active Member

    My 7-yr-old is boy crazy - had 4 "boyfriends" this year who she shared with her best friend.

    She is very innocent about it all and would never dream of kissing, but she has held hands with one of the boys on the bus. Still, she makes me very nervous. I'm hoping things calm down this year in the boy department, or I MAY have to lock her in her room for a few years, at least!

    easy child#1 started really going for the girls this past year in 6th grade. He is a little annoyed with our rule that there are no dates until he is 16. He says it's getting in the way of his chances to date the popular girls. (And to me, that's a bad thing why???)

  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I don't envy your guys. As you know I have a multi-generational
    viewpoint. I got thru my kids alright until GFGmom was in high
    school but there is a huge difference. easy child/difficult child was surrounded by
    the most active, highest achieving, church active group of young
    teen leaders. They started "going with" one another in about fifth grade BUT all that meant was that they might hold hands and
    everyone talked about who was "going with" who each
    By middle school they all went to parties at least once each weekend (the group was about 50 or so kids) and at least 1/4 of the parents stayed and chaperoned the whole evening.

    How shocked I was to find out years later from easy child/difficult child how few
    made it TO high school pure!

    Even though I detest listening to people talk about
    really sincerely do believe that the influence of television has
    had a major affect on this generation. My generation snuck books
    to try to figure out how any living creature "mated". Now, you can just watch a soap opera and you know how the puzzle works.DDD
  6. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    OK, may I chime in?

    My daughter is 6, and she explained to me how she kisses the neighbor kid.

    "Like daddy does with Michelle..." and demonstrates with her tongue.

    <span style='font-size: 20pt'>!</span>

    Are you kidding me? :nonono:

    Then the twin 7 year old girls that live in the building are forever pulling their shirts off their shoulders "to look popular".

    Makes me sick.

  7. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Well, if it makes you feel any better, I had my first boyfriend at age 5. I was a tomboy but always loved boys. Still do! :flower:

  8. Liahona

    Liahona Active Member

    I'm worried about this as well. It seems to come from no where and started at age 5!!!! He was being homeschooled at age 5 and he would still latch onto girls. The last episode of girl crazy. difficult child 1 was on top of her. Ugh, where did he learn this stuff. We talked to the parents, difficult child 1, his therapist, the parents talked to the girl. Thank goodness the neighbors with 3 little girls moved away. husband and I are wanting this baby to be a boy just because of this issue. This gives me the creeps.
  9. Janna

    Janna New Member

    Sorry, I don't understand it. I wouldn't allow a "boyfriend", even if innocent, at 10 years old.

    My 15 year old still has not been on a date, and cannot do so until 16. Nor has he had a girlfriend.

    He has had friends that are female. He has even talked to them on the phone, traded photos, blah blah, all the cutsey little stuff. But no girlfriend.

    I would be highly concerned if Dylan came to me and spoke of girlfriends, kissing and the like. Totally unacceptable. He should be playing GI Joes.

    I don't blame you for being concerned, Steph, but at the same time, if you're concerned, you need to put a stop to the whole thing or it will just continue.
  10. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    I guess it comes down to what she means by a "boyfriend".

    When my daughter was about that age, she'd come home and tell me that one friend or the other was "going with" some little boy. Then finally one day she told me that she was "going with" ... I forget now who it even was. I asked her what exactly does "going with" someone involve ... and she said that it means that they sometimes sit together at lunch and maybe on the school bus! It was more of a "pretend" kind of relationship and they changed partners almost daily, sometimes hourly.

    If this is all she means by "boyfriend", it's probably OK. If it's anything more, I'd put a stop to it fast!
  11. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    easy child at 10 had no interest in boys. However, it is the age group I teach and many are boy crazy at that age. For the most part it is very innocent and they don't really have a "boyfriend".
  12. Stella Johnson

    Stella Johnson Active Member

    It amazes me too and I'm glad most boys in her class still think it's gross.

    I really don't think it's a hypersexual thing. She has no interest in kissing, hugging, anything like that. They sit together on the bus and thats about it.

    Your 6 yr old is probably on the same level as my difficult child with this.

    It probably does have alot to do with the media. Smut is everywhere. :surprise:

    Big Bad Kitty,
    I have seen girls my difficult child's age that do that with their clothes. They wear low cut tops and lots of them have stuff to fill them with too.

    difficult child has always been a tomboy too but she wants to wear pink dresses with bows in her hair to climb trees. Maybe that is where this is coming from. The majority of her friends until this last year were boys. They are always more accepting than girls are with special needs kids.

    THat would scare the heck out of me! :smile:

    She doesn't have a real boyfriend. It's more innocent than that. She has no intentions of kissing him and would never even ask to go on a date. I think it's more like a best friend that is a boy.

    That sounds alot like this situation. Just sounds so weird hearing "boyfriend" come out of her mouth.

  13. blb

    blb New Member

    Yeah well Steph,

    I too thought my oldest was a complete innocent and immune to such stuff until today when my youngest informed me, "Mom, **** (my oldest) just said to take the clothes off of my Barbie and Ken doll because they like each other and they are going to go lay down in bed and kiss." :smile: :surprise: :faint:

    This from the child who has only watched PBS kids and extremely carefully screened G and the rare, prescreened PG movie.

    I'm thinking at 10 boys were still gross too, had to be maybe 13 or 14 before I even thought about a boy.

    Thank God she doesn't want to kiss them....I may not let my oldest out of her room until she's 18 at this rate
  14. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Boy, they're exposed to so much so young. My daughter is a Tomboy who has lots of friends, girls and boys, but isn't boy crazy. She's had a few crushes, but mostly she just likes boys as friends. BUT--both some boys and some girls act, in my opinion, precocious in this area. My daughter is 11, going into sixth grade, and some of the girls are even wearing serious make-up. I'm amazed at the way some parents let their little girls dress up.
  15. On_Call

    On_Call New Member

    I agree - this stuff is happening at a much younger age than it did when I was a kid. I remember still playing with Barbies at 12 - nothing risque - just Barbies. I do remember my first "real" crush being at 13. I did have a male friend who I called my boyfriend in 6th grade - I remembered recently he always called me "woman". Isn't that hysterical??? At my 20th reunion, he was there - and I reminded him of that - he even remembered - and apologized all these years later, if you can believe it!! The extent of our 'relationship' was writing goofy notes and talking on the phone. When we were old enough to actually date, we never did.

    I remember writing the notes: "Do you like me?" "Circle one: YES / NO" and passing them in lunch.

    Gosh, I wouldn't go back to that age for a million bucks.

    Good luck, Steph. I'm afraid our easy child will be an early bloomer in this department and am not looking forward to it.
  16. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    My son is girl crazy. I am not sure what he says is true and what is story. I can tell him he can't have a girlfriend, he cannot call them or recieve calls, or have playdates with them, but I cannot control him at school. He really makes me nervous sometimes. He is 9. It seems way over the top.
  17. OpenWindow

    OpenWindow Active Member

    Janna, I think it's a matter of semantics. My kids aren't allowed to date until they are 16 and I remind them that they can't have a "boyfriend" or a "girlfriend" until that age, but they still talk about it in those terms because the other kids do. I'm not too stern when I tell them they aren't really boyfriends or girlfriends because they are not dating, because I would rather they talk to me about it than avoid the subject entirely with me because they get a lecture every time they bring it up.

    My 7-yr-old girl will pick out the lacy clothes at the store... the ones that look like lingerie. Of course I tell her she can't buy it but that's what she picks out repeatedly, and the short short short shorts. She has also done the naked barbie/ken making out - said she saw it on King of the Hill (which they are NOT allowed to watch but somehow watch it anyway when husband is home and I'm not). She often pretends to walk like a model (and is scaringly good at shaking her hips). I am worried about her to a point but she is also the best behaved of my kids and I think with time, and a lot of talking to, she will tone down. Right now it is all innocent.

    Suz, now that I think back I was a bit boy crazy and was IN LOVE with a neighborhood boy when I was in kindergarten. I dated a lot of different guys and grew into a very self-conscious, very goody two shoes teenager and probably even a prudish adult.

  18. WNC Gal

    WNC Gal New Member

    It may be a bias on our part, but it is very hard to enjoy the normalcy of teen crushes when your child is very manipulative and attention-seeking. She really broke a few hearts by going out with and "dumping" boys in rapid succession depending on which one she would be seeing next. Of course, it wasn't real dates - just phone calls or seeing each other on the bus. At the most, she has been able to dance at school or community dances.

    But it is challenging (and embarrassing) to explain why she can't prance around in a way too short white mini-skirt and tank top. She is even inappropriate with adults - once at our office, she said goodbye to some men working there by saying "See ya later boys!".

    Of course we do tell her that she needs to be more conservative with her clothing at her age - but do you think she really wants to? :smile:
  19. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    I would ask more about what it means to her, but from what I've read, it sounds innocent. The fact that she doesn't even know his name makes it sound like she just wants to have a boyfriend as a status symbol.