Boy did I pick the wrong day to quit smoking...again

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by hearts and roses, Aug 14, 2009.

  1. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    My sister (M) called me the other day to complain that her electric, gas and phone have been turned off. She and her H make well over $120,000 between them and my sister had summers off. M claims that it's due to mom living with her. Bull. I send her $125 a month and so does my brother. Our other two siblings haven't sent anything in a while. But mom brings in about $1200/month and my sister (M) charges mom rent. So. It just really irks me that I receive phone calls like this. I do my part and even when my mom is staying with ME, I send the stinking money. M is a mess on so many levels and it is just frustrating to think about let alone explain. Suffice it to say, it's amazing my mom is still alive living there. I wish I could quit my job and bring here to live. Or better, find her a nice home to live in with round the clock care.

    Mom is coming to stay with me next week. Her alzheimers is getting worse. My sister (T) who she's with now had a fight with my other sister (S) who drove mom up from PA and now she (T) is mad at all of us for some reason - I wasn't even there! So, I have her (T) attitude to deal with. Plus, I have to get difficult child's room ready for my mom, as that is where Mom will be staying. That means a rubber mattress cover and lots of extra sheets, ready for use. And my washer/dryer are on the fritz! I also have to buy some special toiletries for her as well so she doesn't slip in the bathroom. And lots of wipes. And lots of food.

    This morning, my brother from LI called me and informed me that pissy sister informed him that I was hosting a BBQ tomorrow. Tomorrow is usually my errand and cleaning day, which means that everything has been pushed back to TONIGHT. I have to vacuum the pool, clean my house (though not really because there will be so many people no one will notice dust bunnies and sand, will they?), I have to go food shopping, but first I have to make a list (did I mention LOTS of food while my mom is here?). difficult child is working 9-5 tomorrow and easy child will be traveling back from the cape, so I am on my H is working all morning into the early afternoon as well (conveniently).

    I have next week off so I can watch my mom while she's at my house - we can't leave her alone any more. I always think I'm going to accomplish great things while she's here, old projects and new, but I always run out of time. Between cleaning up after mom and preparing meals, my time is eaten up. Not complaining so much as just stating a fact. I love having my mom with me - it's sad, but it's also nice time well spent. I think that crud with my sisters is what is really bugging me.

    Thank God I didn't give up drinking.
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am sorry.

    If you go to and click on in storees now, you can click on free samples and get a 20 piece sample of nicoderm gum in cinnamon or white ice mint.
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Ok...I want to know how you get your utilities turned off making that much money especially with your moms money coming in. Really? Come on. That is just dumb.

    I think I would be ticked at being TOLD I was hosting the BBQ on such short notice but you will pull it off, Im sure.

    Enjoy your mom, I know you will. These times will get so few and far between.
  4. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    difficult child is going to meet me after work today. We're going to get pedicures and then she's going to help me food shop. My house is relatively clean enough and I can get started on laundry tonight and even vacuum the pool if I can lift the ladder out so I can use the automatic pool cleaner thingy (then I won't have to stand there the entire time!).

    I am just going to go with it. I will prepare for my mom, the BBQ and ignore my sister (T) if she's pissy. I am not sending the full month of money to my other sister (M) since I will have had my mom for a week - I will deduct that amount. Fair's fair, in my opinion.

    Thank you Susie - I ordered it! Since I only smoke about 3-4 a day, I understand it won't be as horrible. On the questionnaire they ask if you smoke more or less that 25!! OMG - 25??

    Janet, no kidding, right? Not to mention the fact that my sister (M) lives in a very small town and her mortgage is less than ours. Everything is less expensive - for her location, she should be able to live high off the hog, as they say! But, you know, in all fairness, I don't know what kind of debt she's gotten herself into over the years. I'm pretty sure drinking a keg of beer every week isn't helping her much. But whatever.

  5. Star*

    Star* call 911

    You know what Jo?

    Despite having gotten all the COOL genes and CARING genes in your family I think the overall tone of your post is - DO NOT TREAD ON ME. Seriously. I think just once it would be nice for your siblings to consider YOU as much as YOU consider them. Since it's never going to happen then it's nice to see that you have put your detachment skills with difficult child to GREAT use with regards to your sibs and moved on.

    The pedicure was a fantastic idea, and I'm glad difficult child is pitching in. The neatest thing I read is how much you really want to spend time with your Mom!!!! Take lots of pictures and breath. DF has started and stopped smoking about six times now. His doctor told him it takes some people nine or more times to finally kick the habit so if you start again - no biggie. Go with it - do the best you can. You always do and you ALWAYS manage to pull it together......brilliantly!


  6. ML

    ML Guest

    My favorite part of this thread is the pedicures and difficult child pitching in! I agree with Star that you got all the cool genes. I admire you so much. Hugs, ML
  7. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Thanks ladies. I am looking forward to spending some time with my mom next week. I've seen her this past week a couple of times and I can see that her Alzheimers has worsened so I'm not sure how *quality* our time will be. I'm hopeful. I found an old tape that we recorded back in 1990 before my dad passed away. I think she will enjoy that. Also, some great old videos of the girlies when they were little. I was thinking that since she can't really read much anymore that I may read to her. What do you think? I think it would be well received, however, I don't know if her attention can last much more than 5 minutes at a time. I've stocked up on magazines for her - she likes flipping through them quickly, as her attention span is nearly all gone these days. And we will watch old movies too. I hope the weather is cooperative and we get to sit out by the pool - she really likes that a lot. I plan on taking some pics, thanks for the reminder.

    difficult child and I had a nice pedicure together and then quickly went food shopping. I'm all stocked up. Time for bed now. Love and hugs~
  8. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    The old movies of family will be good because long term memory is the last to go. Also if you have old pictures it would be good to sit around and look at them.

    I will warn you, watch out for sundowning. This is when they get cranky in the late afternoon and try to wander. Just be aware.
  9. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Oh Janet, is that what they call that? Sundowning? Hahah - too funny.

    Yeah, it doesn't help that my mother has never been a ray of sunshine in the afternoons - now, forgettaboutit. The most unfortunate moments are when she just starts crying. I hate that the most. Makes me feel so helpless.

    We had a good day - the BBQ went well, my sister T behaved and we all had a nice time, eating good food outside! I even went swimming for the 3rd time only this summer it was so hot!