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Brainstorming needed (long)
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<blockquote data-quote="1 Day At a Time" data-source="post: 221667" data-attributes="member: 3704"><p>Wow Marg,</p><p></p><p>First of all, kudos to difficult child 3 and to you as well for his well-earned awards! </p><p></p><p>difficult child 3 is so much like our difficult child, it is eerie! Especially the part about performing complex math problems "in his head", not on paper. I just don't see how (or why) they do it!</p><p></p><p>It sounds like the day was very stressful for you both, but that difficult child 3 really put forth enormous effort to handle the situation the best he that could. Honestly, I think that the day that you describe would be a stressful situation for even a laid back easy child. I personally can understand difficult children in their difficulty with new and overwhelming environments ,because I also have great difficulty "filtering it all out". I get completely focussed on the sounds and sights in social situations and can't recognize people I really should know. My adaptation is to say, "I know I should know your name, but please help me because my memory is blocking right now". It always works!</p><p></p><p>I'm always completely physically and mentally exhausted when I come back home from such an event. I know that anxiety plays such a big piece in this, but the inability to filter also plays a part. I don't know if the two issues are connected, but I suspect that they are. I know that our difficult child has the same issues and he externalizes all of that anxiety out to others as well - so the events are doubly exhausting for us all. This is a big reason why we spend so much time at home. We do travel a bit, but the trips are always well planned out and difficult child is a big part of that planning. It gives him a little more sense of control. We can always tell when he is getting overwhelmed and when that happens , we scale back and sometimes just spend time in our hotel room. This has been a huge lifestyle change for husband and I - we were always on the go before difficult child was born. </p><p></p><p> I know that our difficult child probably would have asked the principal the same question about getting the awards that difficult child 3 asked. Our difficult child's rigidity of thought is the piece that disables him the most in my humble opinion. I would have discussed with him later why his timing was off - but actually I do believe our difficult child's lack of empathy would always make that concept too difficult for him to grasp. Personally, I think that particular behavior is more attached to thought processes than to anxiety. It's a difficult piece to change. </p><p></p><p>Again, many congrats to you both!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="1 Day At a Time, post: 221667, member: 3704"] Wow Marg, First of all, kudos to difficult child 3 and to you as well for his well-earned awards! difficult child 3 is so much like our difficult child, it is eerie! Especially the part about performing complex math problems "in his head", not on paper. I just don't see how (or why) they do it! It sounds like the day was very stressful for you both, but that difficult child 3 really put forth enormous effort to handle the situation the best he that could. Honestly, I think that the day that you describe would be a stressful situation for even a laid back easy child. I personally can understand difficult children in their difficulty with new and overwhelming environments ,because I also have great difficulty "filtering it all out". I get completely focussed on the sounds and sights in social situations and can't recognize people I really should know. My adaptation is to say, "I know I should know your name, but please help me because my memory is blocking right now". It always works! I'm always completely physically and mentally exhausted when I come back home from such an event. I know that anxiety plays such a big piece in this, but the inability to filter also plays a part. I don't know if the two issues are connected, but I suspect that they are. I know that our difficult child has the same issues and he externalizes all of that anxiety out to others as well - so the events are doubly exhausting for us all. This is a big reason why we spend so much time at home. We do travel a bit, but the trips are always well planned out and difficult child is a big part of that planning. It gives him a little more sense of control. We can always tell when he is getting overwhelmed and when that happens , we scale back and sometimes just spend time in our hotel room. This has been a huge lifestyle change for husband and I - we were always on the go before difficult child was born. I know that our difficult child probably would have asked the principal the same question about getting the awards that difficult child 3 asked. Our difficult child's rigidity of thought is the piece that disables him the most in my humble opinion. I would have discussed with him later why his timing was off - but actually I do believe our difficult child's lack of empathy would always make that concept too difficult for him to grasp. Personally, I think that particular behavior is more attached to thought processes than to anxiety. It's a difficult piece to change. Again, many congrats to you both! [/QUOTE]
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