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Brainstorming needed (long)
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 221970" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>The elevator thing - he was extremely anxious about it to the extent that it was interfering with other members of the public (at train stations, for example); people who don't know him at all and who I'm sure just thought he was a boy making trouble and that I am a bad mother for not scolding him. However, I won't change how I handle him just to keep up appearances!</p><p></p><p>Maps - I agree, I think I'll do that next time. I did have a map with me, he could have taken it from me to look at because I very quickly worked out where we were going. Also on each train we were on, there was a map of the entire train network (including the new section of track that now goes past the airport terminals). He did use that map to reassure himself that we weren't getting lost; the funny thing was, he's really good with maps but he was still getting anxious despite the map confirming what I was saying, that we were changing trains the right way.</p><p></p><p>What fascinated me was the level of anxiety escalating yet he was still coping. Getting much more odd of course, beginning to pace, fussing over the elevators, insisting on going ahead - but not falling apart too badly. He never totally lost control. However, he was certainly a long way from his best.</p><p></p><p>Every time we have to go into the city, he learns more about how it all connects together. When he came into the city with me on a Saturday about two months ago (so I could buy a pair of shoes for the wedding) it was the first time we had done this in this way. We just walked fairly aimlessly, he had seen a shop from the car window that he wanted to try to find so he watched me navigate by educated guesswork and also was patient when I wanted to window-shop along the way. We found the shop he anted, we bought something then we navigated our way back via a slightly different route, buying lunch along the way back.</p><p></p><p>Every time we do this, every time we travel to the city for whatever reason, he learns more. Yesterday was really stressful and encompassed a lot of new stuff plus huge crowded rooms. The trains were also crowded and a lot of our navigation involved the City Circle, Sydney's underground network round the CBD and beyond. These are noisy and his first experiences of them were very stressful.</p><p></p><p>He's becoming a seasoned traveller. We've taken a lot of holidays over the last few years, these have all been challenging in their own way. I think it's doing him good, but his level of anxiety worries me, as well as his very rigid thinking at times. I try to explain things and he just doesn't get it, he thinks I'm explaining something else. It takes a lot to get through to him sometimes.</p><p></p><p>He did enjoy his day; I think he's used to being anxious and takes even his own anxiety in his stride.</p><p></p><p>I'm going to try to find a meditation tape/CD for him, taking a leaf out of Linda's wm's book. Christmas is likely to be stressful for him (noisy, crowded, family visiting), I'd like him to be prepared.</p><p></p><p>We see the pediatrician on Tuesday. I need to put together a list of things to talk about.</p><p></p><p>1) Anxiety. We need strategies, as much as medication. We have gone beyond breathing exercises.</p><p></p><p>2) face blindness. I think we need to find some practical ways of dealing with this, such as techniques for teaching oneself to mentally back-check to find the context of a person.</p><p></p><p>3) the need to control as a means of reducing anxiety.</p><p></p><p>We need to move into a new set of strategies, he's older now and more capable. Time to ramp things up? Maybe some actual coaching on how to cope.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 221970, member: 1991"] The elevator thing - he was extremely anxious about it to the extent that it was interfering with other members of the public (at train stations, for example); people who don't know him at all and who I'm sure just thought he was a boy making trouble and that I am a bad mother for not scolding him. However, I won't change how I handle him just to keep up appearances! Maps - I agree, I think I'll do that next time. I did have a map with me, he could have taken it from me to look at because I very quickly worked out where we were going. Also on each train we were on, there was a map of the entire train network (including the new section of track that now goes past the airport terminals). He did use that map to reassure himself that we weren't getting lost; the funny thing was, he's really good with maps but he was still getting anxious despite the map confirming what I was saying, that we were changing trains the right way. What fascinated me was the level of anxiety escalating yet he was still coping. Getting much more odd of course, beginning to pace, fussing over the elevators, insisting on going ahead - but not falling apart too badly. He never totally lost control. However, he was certainly a long way from his best. Every time we have to go into the city, he learns more about how it all connects together. When he came into the city with me on a Saturday about two months ago (so I could buy a pair of shoes for the wedding) it was the first time we had done this in this way. We just walked fairly aimlessly, he had seen a shop from the car window that he wanted to try to find so he watched me navigate by educated guesswork and also was patient when I wanted to window-shop along the way. We found the shop he anted, we bought something then we navigated our way back via a slightly different route, buying lunch along the way back. Every time we do this, every time we travel to the city for whatever reason, he learns more. Yesterday was really stressful and encompassed a lot of new stuff plus huge crowded rooms. The trains were also crowded and a lot of our navigation involved the City Circle, Sydney's underground network round the CBD and beyond. These are noisy and his first experiences of them were very stressful. He's becoming a seasoned traveller. We've taken a lot of holidays over the last few years, these have all been challenging in their own way. I think it's doing him good, but his level of anxiety worries me, as well as his very rigid thinking at times. I try to explain things and he just doesn't get it, he thinks I'm explaining something else. It takes a lot to get through to him sometimes. He did enjoy his day; I think he's used to being anxious and takes even his own anxiety in his stride. I'm going to try to find a meditation tape/CD for him, taking a leaf out of Linda's wm's book. Christmas is likely to be stressful for him (noisy, crowded, family visiting), I'd like him to be prepared. We see the pediatrician on Tuesday. I need to put together a list of things to talk about. 1) Anxiety. We need strategies, as much as medication. We have gone beyond breathing exercises. 2) face blindness. I think we need to find some practical ways of dealing with this, such as techniques for teaching oneself to mentally back-check to find the context of a person. 3) the need to control as a means of reducing anxiety. We need to move into a new set of strategies, he's older now and more capable. Time to ramp things up? Maybe some actual coaching on how to cope. Marg [/QUOTE]
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