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Brainstorming needed (long)
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 222259" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>"I wonder, do you get the impression that any part of the day was enjoyable for difficult child 3? I hope he found something enjoyable!"</p><p></p><p>I do think he enjoyed himself overall, but he was also relieved to get back home. He's doing this increasingly. Yesterday I said to him, "Do you want to go to the beach for a swim?" </p><p>He did, but wanted to finish something he was working on, on the computer. Then he got dressed, got the beach bag into the car and went to the car to wait. We went to the beach, he went straight into the water and played around as he always does. After about an hour he came to me and said, "I'm ready to go home now."</p><p>He was happy to wait a few minutes more while I had one last swim, but wanted the keys so he could go on ahead to the car. He has a routine - load his board into the boot (into the plastic tray for it), rinse his feet, wrap his towel around his waist then undress under the towel to put on his "after beach" shorts made of towelling. Nothing can change this routine. Then it was time to go home.</p><p></p><p>He had fun, but was happy to get home. Similar scenario.</p><p></p><p>mother in law asked difficult child 3 today if he had enjoyed the Rolf Harris concert at the Opera House on Tuesday. difficult child 3 was enthusiastic and said, "Of course!" On Tuesday we had to use the same railway station that we used on Friday, so doing both things so close together was very helpful. </p><p></p><p>On Friday I'm sure difficult child 3 enjoyed talking to his two classmate friends who sought him out. Interestingly, the boy classmate used to see difficult child 3 as a threat, as someone who was trying to show him up. Then the boy's mother told him about difficult child 3's diagnosis and explained it to him. Since then tis boy looks out for difficult child 3, helps him and always makes a point of saying hello and hi-fiving him. The girl - it's the boy's girlfriend, they live near each other and often do their schoolwork together. She's learnt about difficult child 3 from her boyfriend and from her own observations. It's good that they seek him out to be friendly. I just wish difficult child 3 would learn to seek THEM out sometimes! Although I think he is beginning to...</p><p></p><p>I do think difficult child 3 has learned to accept that he has anxiety, and has to cope with it in his own way. I remember earlier in the year at his school's big expo day when they had rock climbing, difficult child 3 was clearly very anxious about climbing the wall and needed to be coaxed by his teachers into having a go. But despite his anxiety, I think he really wanted to try it. He just needed to be reassured that he would be safe, at least reassured intellectually.</p><p></p><p>So he tried it, clearly still anxious. But he kept going, he reached the top. And was very pleased with himself. He knows that every time he faces his fear and endures it, he comes out of it stronger and more capable of enduring more next time.</p><p></p><p>it's just a matter of carefully balancing what he is exposed to, with what he can handle. Anything that can boost what he can handle will speed up the whole process.</p><p></p><p>I do like the line, "YOu can get anywhere from anywhere." I'll use that. Thanks.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 222259, member: 1991"] "I wonder, do you get the impression that any part of the day was enjoyable for difficult child 3? I hope he found something enjoyable!" I do think he enjoyed himself overall, but he was also relieved to get back home. He's doing this increasingly. Yesterday I said to him, "Do you want to go to the beach for a swim?" He did, but wanted to finish something he was working on, on the computer. Then he got dressed, got the beach bag into the car and went to the car to wait. We went to the beach, he went straight into the water and played around as he always does. After about an hour he came to me and said, "I'm ready to go home now." He was happy to wait a few minutes more while I had one last swim, but wanted the keys so he could go on ahead to the car. He has a routine - load his board into the boot (into the plastic tray for it), rinse his feet, wrap his towel around his waist then undress under the towel to put on his "after beach" shorts made of towelling. Nothing can change this routine. Then it was time to go home. He had fun, but was happy to get home. Similar scenario. mother in law asked difficult child 3 today if he had enjoyed the Rolf Harris concert at the Opera House on Tuesday. difficult child 3 was enthusiastic and said, "Of course!" On Tuesday we had to use the same railway station that we used on Friday, so doing both things so close together was very helpful. On Friday I'm sure difficult child 3 enjoyed talking to his two classmate friends who sought him out. Interestingly, the boy classmate used to see difficult child 3 as a threat, as someone who was trying to show him up. Then the boy's mother told him about difficult child 3's diagnosis and explained it to him. Since then tis boy looks out for difficult child 3, helps him and always makes a point of saying hello and hi-fiving him. The girl - it's the boy's girlfriend, they live near each other and often do their schoolwork together. She's learnt about difficult child 3 from her boyfriend and from her own observations. It's good that they seek him out to be friendly. I just wish difficult child 3 would learn to seek THEM out sometimes! Although I think he is beginning to... I do think difficult child 3 has learned to accept that he has anxiety, and has to cope with it in his own way. I remember earlier in the year at his school's big expo day when they had rock climbing, difficult child 3 was clearly very anxious about climbing the wall and needed to be coaxed by his teachers into having a go. But despite his anxiety, I think he really wanted to try it. He just needed to be reassured that he would be safe, at least reassured intellectually. So he tried it, clearly still anxious. But he kept going, he reached the top. And was very pleased with himself. He knows that every time he faces his fear and endures it, he comes out of it stronger and more capable of enduring more next time. it's just a matter of carefully balancing what he is exposed to, with what he can handle. Anything that can boost what he can handle will speed up the whole process. I do like the line, "YOu can get anywhere from anywhere." I'll use that. Thanks. Marg [/QUOTE]
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