Breaking my own homework rules!

[gcvmom]

Out of desperation. It became clear this evening that it was time to try something new for difficult child 1.

He's enrolled in independent study, which means he covers a semester of work in one subject over 4 weeks. In the case of geometry, it's over 9 weeks. So right now he's got overlap of two subjects. Plus he's taking French 1 daily at his home high school, but that's really light on the homework.

But tonight, he revealed that he's very far behind in his geometry homework AND he'd forgotten to do an assignment for the language arts segment that ended a few weeks ago, and despite turning it in late today he was told he did not fulfill all the requirements so they want him to re-do it.

So now he's panicking. And he announces that he QUITS and he's DONE and he's not doing any more work. Period.

Hooo-boy. I did not anticipate a total shut down.

So I gave him a half hour to just veg in front of the TV, and then I went in softly to encourage him to not worry about aaaaalll the work he has due this week, but rather to just focus on one problem at a time. Chip away at it.

His mood had calmed and he agreed to try, but it lasted only about 20 min and then the TV was back on! So I asked him if he though he could just keep working if we agreed to keep the TV on. He's calmer now, and he seems to be trying. He's done so well up until now -- seems to be getting A's and B's (quite a change from the D's and F's of the first quarter), I just hate to see him blow it all in these final few days of school that are left.

Time to go check up on him and give another gentle prod!

 

[Wiped Out]

Gvcmom,
I hope he eventually got it done. Even if he doesn't I think you handled the situation well. When our kids are in total shutdown they sometimes need a distraction, tv or something else. You did good

 

[susiestar]

You are handling this well. I don't think that if he had quiet to do the work in that he would get anything done. Sometimes background noise can keep your mind off of the overwhelming set of tasks in front of you. I did a LOT of studying in college at a restaurant where I worked. It was NOT quiet. EVER. I got far more done there than I did in the library or at home with no noise.

I would make the goal more to work a little at a time than to get the work all done by any deadline.

 

[LittleDudesMom]

I think you handling it great! Rigidity can often exacerbate our difficult children when they are on that edge. Hope he was able to finish his homework with his "at home accommodation!"

Sharon

 

[KTMom91]

Sounds like you handled it well...did he get his work caught up?

 

[keista]

I think you did a great job!

I use a similar tactic when son starts shutting down with math. 2 problems, and then he gets 1/2 hour of game time. Works well as long as I get him before he fully shuts down - once he does he won't even play his games. OY!

 

[ML]

Bravo! I am impressed by your flexibility and meeting him where he is at. Unless you diffuse that anxiety there is no chance. Good job, mom.

 

[gcvmom]

Thanks everyone. Despite diffusing the emotions and reducing the stress a little, he did not get much work done. Sigh. And to complicate things further, his IBS is flaring because of all the stress.

Today one of his instructors recommended he drop the elective history class so that he could focus on getting the geometry caught up, and I wholeheartedly agreed. But difficult child 1 is still about four chapters behind in geometry and it has to all be turned in by THURSDAY. Ugh. AND he still has to rewrite an essay for Lang Arts. The next two days aren't going to be pretty.

On a POSITIVE note, he got 2 A's and an A- in his other three independent study courses!

Seven more days. Only 7 more days of school left...

 

[TerryJ2]

been there done that. Argh!
I did the same thing with-difficult child. It worked but it was more work for me, (as it is for you) to extricate him from the TV or computer ea time he needed to get back to work. I had him do one subject at a time, and one item within ea subject at a time... something that we parents would do naturally but that for some reason, these kids cannot do. They cannot break down the components and calm down enough to do them.
Hang in there.