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Breaking the cycle?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 131627" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Welcome, I am glad you found us. Well, sorry you need us but glad you are here.</p><p> </p><p>Do you know what his IEP at school covers?</p><p> </p><p>Do you have access to post-adoption support? Many states offer this so that a child with mental health issues can be adopted. It should be in your mom's papers, or you may have to do some research. The adoption papers would be a good place to start.</p><p> </p><p>Is he on any medications?</p><p> </p><p>When was his last evaluation and what type of professional(s) evaluated him?</p><p> </p><p>Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE) is really really tough to treat, from what I know of it. </p><p> </p><p>ODD is mostly a SYMPTOM of another condition (Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE) or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) would certainly lead to this, in my humble opinion).</p><p> </p><p>Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) can be treated with SSRI medications (like prozac and paxil), and probably other medications. I know paxil has videos about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), or they used to. </p><p> </p><p>Definitely get your hands on The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. I would also encourage you to do LOTS of research on Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE).</p><p> </p><p>If your bro is not under the active care of a psychiatrist (psychiatrist or doctor with the MD), a therapist, and if at all possible a Developmental Pediatrician (that would be my personal first choice), then you want to find these. These are NOT conditions your bro's pediatrician should be treating. You may want and NEED further testing - for this a developmental pediatrician and/or a neuropsychologist are wonderful. Many here swear by the neuropsychologist. We found a developmental pediatrician and our difficult child was tested by a variety of professionals through him, including a neuropsychologist.</p><p> </p><p>Has he had any testing by a neurologist? I would certainly think a child neurologist as part of the treatment team would be critical. At the very least, push for a sleep deprived EEG. It may uncover seizures or other neurological issues.</p><p> </p><p>You are also probably dealing with a lot of grief, personally, on your husband's behalf, and with your bro. Are YOU seeing a therapist of any kind? Many of us here have our own therapists, some of us (like me) also have our own psychiatrists (with the md).</p><p> </p><p>It really is true that if momma isn't happy (or taken care of) no one else will be. Just like when you fly, put your own air mask on BEFORE you put your child's on. (Or your little bro's on).</p><p> </p><p>If you go to this link: <a href="http://www.conductdisorders.com/forum/showthread.php?t=660&highlight=parent+report" target="_blank">http://www.conductdisorders.com/forum/showthread.php?t=660&highlight=parent+report</a> Parent Report you will find an outline of a document to help describe your brother, your/his history, and lots of other stuff the docs ask about. This is a time consuming project to start, but a very very important one. It will help you organize ALL the info about your brother. And help you communicate with the professionals who will help your brother and family. One recommendation is to put a photo of the child on the cover page. I found it helpful to include a smaller photo at the beginning of each section.</p><p> </p><p>Break the report up into chunks to work on it. And a partial report is better than no report. Your mom probably had the info pretty well organized, and this is just a suggestion. I found it helped me include info I would not have otherwise remembered/thought of.</p><p> </p><p>You will probably want to have several copies along with the original in a folder or binder (leave room for growth!). That way you can give copies to anyone you want to have this information. Be careful with the info you share with school. Not all schools handle information appropriately, and some schools have been know to use info AGAINST parents, esp when parents are pushing for services or to have IEP's followed appropriately. </p><p> </p><p>This report will also help you fill out all the paperwork seeing a doctor generates!</p><p> </p><p>Sending very gentle hugs,</p><p> </p><p>Susie</p><p> </p><p>ps. Your brother is very lucky.</p><p> </p><p>pps. On thing that helps many of us is to remember that our difficult child's are operating on an emotional level appropriate to roughly 2/3 their age in years. So your 12yo bro is operating more on the level of an 8yo or younger child. Not a hard and fast equation, esp with the Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE), but it can be helpful.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 131627, member: 1233"] Welcome, I am glad you found us. Well, sorry you need us but glad you are here. Do you know what his IEP at school covers? Do you have access to post-adoption support? Many states offer this so that a child with mental health issues can be adopted. It should be in your mom's papers, or you may have to do some research. The adoption papers would be a good place to start. Is he on any medications? When was his last evaluation and what type of professional(s) evaluated him? Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE) is really really tough to treat, from what I know of it. ODD is mostly a SYMPTOM of another condition (Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE) or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) would certainly lead to this, in my humble opinion). Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) can be treated with SSRI medications (like prozac and paxil), and probably other medications. I know paxil has videos about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), or they used to. Definitely get your hands on The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. I would also encourage you to do LOTS of research on Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE). If your bro is not under the active care of a psychiatrist (psychiatrist or doctor with the MD), a therapist, and if at all possible a Developmental Pediatrician (that would be my personal first choice), then you want to find these. These are NOT conditions your bro's pediatrician should be treating. You may want and NEED further testing - for this a developmental pediatrician and/or a neuropsychologist are wonderful. Many here swear by the neuropsychologist. We found a developmental pediatrician and our difficult child was tested by a variety of professionals through him, including a neuropsychologist. Has he had any testing by a neurologist? I would certainly think a child neurologist as part of the treatment team would be critical. At the very least, push for a sleep deprived EEG. It may uncover seizures or other neurological issues. You are also probably dealing with a lot of grief, personally, on your husband's behalf, and with your bro. Are YOU seeing a therapist of any kind? Many of us here have our own therapists, some of us (like me) also have our own psychiatrists (with the md). It really is true that if momma isn't happy (or taken care of) no one else will be. Just like when you fly, put your own air mask on BEFORE you put your child's on. (Or your little bro's on). If you go to this link: [URL]http://www.conductdisorders.com/forum/showthread.php?t=660&highlight=parent+report[/URL] Parent Report you will find an outline of a document to help describe your brother, your/his history, and lots of other stuff the docs ask about. This is a time consuming project to start, but a very very important one. It will help you organize ALL the info about your brother. And help you communicate with the professionals who will help your brother and family. One recommendation is to put a photo of the child on the cover page. I found it helpful to include a smaller photo at the beginning of each section. Break the report up into chunks to work on it. And a partial report is better than no report. Your mom probably had the info pretty well organized, and this is just a suggestion. I found it helped me include info I would not have otherwise remembered/thought of. You will probably want to have several copies along with the original in a folder or binder (leave room for growth!). That way you can give copies to anyone you want to have this information. Be careful with the info you share with school. Not all schools handle information appropriately, and some schools have been know to use info AGAINST parents, esp when parents are pushing for services or to have IEP's followed appropriately. This report will also help you fill out all the paperwork seeing a doctor generates! Sending very gentle hugs, Susie ps. Your brother is very lucky. pps. On thing that helps many of us is to remember that our difficult child's are operating on an emotional level appropriate to roughly 2/3 their age in years. So your 12yo bro is operating more on the level of an 8yo or younger child. Not a hard and fast equation, esp with the Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE), but it can be helpful. [/QUOTE]
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