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Brother and I are going to Butt Heads (vent warning)
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 627648" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>My mother is 77 yrs old. She is declining rapidly both health wise and mentally. I am her POA, her medical POA, and the executor of her estate / will. (oh lucky me) This was done to protect her from my siblings whims, one in particular. Mom is barely holding her own. Her house is on the market and she has a serious bite, the couple just has to have a buyer for their house first because they otherwise can't swing it. I can't get her to budge (unless I put that medical POA into effect and force her) until that damn house is sold. Otherwise it will be the nightmare sis in Texas had. The move here will be traumatic enough without making it worse unnecessarily. Know what I mean?? </p><p></p><p>*Note for those who don't know, Mom is a paranoid schizo untreated / unmedicated who functions fairly well except under stress, real or imagined. As she advances in age, physical illness can also effect her mental status, which isn't uncommon in the elderly.......add in a mental illness and you get a whole new level of omg. She also is suffering from memory issues which is exacerbating the whole paranoia part of the schizo. </p><p></p><p>I tried to call her this evening when i realized it had been more than 7 days since I last spoke with her. No answer on her cell. Unusual. But sometimes happens if she's charging it or somewhere she doesn't want to talk on it, like in the car. I tried for four hours.......and couldn't get her to answer. I fb message younger bro asking if he'd talked to mom recently. Well, that is where she was. Travis tried her again and she answered, talked to him briefly........promised to call when she got home. (which she never did) </p><p></p><p>Younger bro takes this as an invitation to go on yet another tirade about our insane mother and her antics and how he's not going to put up with it yadda yadda yadda. I asked him what was going on. He supposedly invited her to a bbq and she procedes to come out and accuse everyone of stealing her stuff. Uh, ok. So what is new about that? Turns out she just got over a rather nasty case of strep throat. So this episode is to be expected. I told him to ignore it. It's her vulnerability, fear, and illness talking. He starts ranting about how he's not going to let her get away with calling his kids thieves blah blah blah. omg The man has about as much compassion as a rock, no maybe not even that much. </p><p></p><p>He goes on to say she has no right to sell the house she is mentally incompetent. I counter by once again telling him she is not mentally incompetent, other than under high levels of stress she functions just fine. As evidence by the fact her bills are paid, her house cared for, her affairs being in order, able to meet doctor appts ect. He says oh he can walk into any courtroom and any judge will have her declared just based on what he tells them. He's such a freaking moron. That sort of action on his part will do him no good. I'm her POA. If she wants to seel the house all I have to do is give my ok and it's a done deal. Mentally incompetent or not. Mom made certain the POA paperwork was solid and has a damn good lawyer. She has copies and I have copies. My daughters are to step into my shoes if something were to happen to me. The woman is covered, trust me. And bro doesn't have the money for a lawyer good enough to attempt to over throw it. And with his last name in that city? Never happen, he'd be laughed out of court. (which is why the same attempt failed with his mother in law) He's all bluff on that score. </p><p></p><p>Mom never called me. According to bro they clashed. I don't doubt it as he's become a downright A hole and abusive to her verbally. I'm sure she was upset when she left. I hope someone drove her as it's quite a long drive and it was near dark. She did not call me when she got home. I tried to call her and she wouldn't pick up. I'll try again when I get up in the morning. </p><p></p><p>I had to bite my tongue on the phone. Actually I was ready to crawl through it and beat the snot out of bro. I'm beginning to think his cheese may have slid off the cracker too, if you get my drift because the stuff that come out of his mouth is downright fantasy. Nor can you sway him from his unrealistic beliefs. Oh, he "gets" that mom is mentally ill but evidently still expects her to act totally sane. Idiot. He pushes her and pushes her. He can't let anything just roll off his back. I don't know why in the heck she even bothers with him. </p><p></p><p>He and I are going to go nose to nose. I see it written in the stars. It's not going to be pretty because I won't back down and I'm armed with experience and knowledge. </p><p></p><p>When mom passes I'll have a lawyer to help me handle the estate. No way I'm doing it all by myself. I'm the queen of cover your own arse. And once that is done, I am totally done with younger bro. He can go straight to hell in a hand basket, I'll buy him a first class ticket. I despise this sort of person. If nothing else you'd think he could drum up just a little respect simply because she gave birth to him. Never mind the years of helping him over and over and over and over again. </p><p></p><p>Someone up above is making darn sure I remember exactly why I moved so far away from my family and I have so very little to do with any of them. </p><p></p><p>This is coming to a head, and soon. I'm trying to get the house ready for her as fast as possible. That isn't very fast with my work schedule and my kids work schedules which of course clash with each other. I may have to call bff's sister in law (who is my top boss) and ask if she could lay me of for several weeks so I can handle this situation and get it done with. Soon as her house sells (or if something happens medically or mentally) I want to be able to move her in here quickly........even if I have to find a facility for her after I get her here if she is that bad.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 627648, member: 84"] My mother is 77 yrs old. She is declining rapidly both health wise and mentally. I am her POA, her medical POA, and the executor of her estate / will. (oh lucky me) This was done to protect her from my siblings whims, one in particular. Mom is barely holding her own. Her house is on the market and she has a serious bite, the couple just has to have a buyer for their house first because they otherwise can't swing it. I can't get her to budge (unless I put that medical POA into effect and force her) until that damn house is sold. Otherwise it will be the nightmare sis in Texas had. The move here will be traumatic enough without making it worse unnecessarily. Know what I mean?? *Note for those who don't know, Mom is a paranoid schizo untreated / unmedicated who functions fairly well except under stress, real or imagined. As she advances in age, physical illness can also effect her mental status, which isn't uncommon in the elderly.......add in a mental illness and you get a whole new level of omg. She also is suffering from memory issues which is exacerbating the whole paranoia part of the schizo. I tried to call her this evening when i realized it had been more than 7 days since I last spoke with her. No answer on her cell. Unusual. But sometimes happens if she's charging it or somewhere she doesn't want to talk on it, like in the car. I tried for four hours.......and couldn't get her to answer. I fb message younger bro asking if he'd talked to mom recently. Well, that is where she was. Travis tried her again and she answered, talked to him briefly........promised to call when she got home. (which she never did) Younger bro takes this as an invitation to go on yet another tirade about our insane mother and her antics and how he's not going to put up with it yadda yadda yadda. I asked him what was going on. He supposedly invited her to a bbq and she procedes to come out and accuse everyone of stealing her stuff. Uh, ok. So what is new about that? Turns out she just got over a rather nasty case of strep throat. So this episode is to be expected. I told him to ignore it. It's her vulnerability, fear, and illness talking. He starts ranting about how he's not going to let her get away with calling his kids thieves blah blah blah. omg The man has about as much compassion as a rock, no maybe not even that much. He goes on to say she has no right to sell the house she is mentally incompetent. I counter by once again telling him she is not mentally incompetent, other than under high levels of stress she functions just fine. As evidence by the fact her bills are paid, her house cared for, her affairs being in order, able to meet doctor appts ect. He says oh he can walk into any courtroom and any judge will have her declared just based on what he tells them. He's such a freaking moron. That sort of action on his part will do him no good. I'm her POA. If she wants to seel the house all I have to do is give my ok and it's a done deal. Mentally incompetent or not. Mom made certain the POA paperwork was solid and has a damn good lawyer. She has copies and I have copies. My daughters are to step into my shoes if something were to happen to me. The woman is covered, trust me. And bro doesn't have the money for a lawyer good enough to attempt to over throw it. And with his last name in that city? Never happen, he'd be laughed out of court. (which is why the same attempt failed with his mother in law) He's all bluff on that score. Mom never called me. According to bro they clashed. I don't doubt it as he's become a downright A hole and abusive to her verbally. I'm sure she was upset when she left. I hope someone drove her as it's quite a long drive and it was near dark. She did not call me when she got home. I tried to call her and she wouldn't pick up. I'll try again when I get up in the morning. I had to bite my tongue on the phone. Actually I was ready to crawl through it and beat the snot out of bro. I'm beginning to think his cheese may have slid off the cracker too, if you get my drift because the stuff that come out of his mouth is downright fantasy. Nor can you sway him from his unrealistic beliefs. Oh, he "gets" that mom is mentally ill but evidently still expects her to act totally sane. Idiot. He pushes her and pushes her. He can't let anything just roll off his back. I don't know why in the heck she even bothers with him. He and I are going to go nose to nose. I see it written in the stars. It's not going to be pretty because I won't back down and I'm armed with experience and knowledge. When mom passes I'll have a lawyer to help me handle the estate. No way I'm doing it all by myself. I'm the queen of cover your own arse. And once that is done, I am totally done with younger bro. He can go straight to hell in a hand basket, I'll buy him a first class ticket. I despise this sort of person. If nothing else you'd think he could drum up just a little respect simply because she gave birth to him. Never mind the years of helping him over and over and over and over again. Someone up above is making darn sure I remember exactly why I moved so far away from my family and I have so very little to do with any of them. This is coming to a head, and soon. I'm trying to get the house ready for her as fast as possible. That isn't very fast with my work schedule and my kids work schedules which of course clash with each other. I may have to call bff's sister in law (who is my top boss) and ask if she could lay me of for several weeks so I can handle this situation and get it done with. Soon as her house sells (or if something happens medically or mentally) I want to be able to move her in here quickly........even if I have to find a facility for her after I get her here if she is that bad. [/QUOTE]
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Brother and I are going to Butt Heads (vent warning)
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