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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 173866"><p>So you guys tell me things and beat me over the head with it and finally one day I go, "Ohhhhhh!". Guess I know where my daughter gets her stubbornness.</p><p></p><p>I'd been thinking about this since I posted - and a lot last night, especially - and imagine my surprise when I was chatting with MB tonight and she said it to me before I could say it to her: Somewhere along the way my daughter has come to the conclusion that she is my equal.</p><p></p><p>Obviously, I have something to do with that. It wasn't intentional. It certainly wasn't always this way. But I've been sick for a long time and I often find myself just trying to get through the next mini-crisis or meltdown without thinking about the long term cost, Know what I mean?? Somewhere along the way I started walking on eggshells around my daughter. And I find myself wondering why. Yeah, I don't want the tension and the fallout, but not only will she get over it she also has to realize that you don't get away with this stuff in the real world. (Which, by the way, I'm certain she knows because she doesn't do this stuff with anyone but me and my mom.) And I am perfectly capable of not letting her mood effect mine. Afterall, one really can't makes us feel a certain way without our permission.</p><p></p><p>So, if she gets mad or goes on about how I'm such a horrible mother, so be it. It's self-serving for her because it gets a reaction. It gets her something she wants.</p><p></p><p>I know I've been all over the place on this thread. But, I really think it all boils down to how much control she thinks she has in the house. If that makes sense. Yes, she has issues that need addressed and yes she needs therapy and probably medications and yes life is going to be harder for her. But, she is the only one holding herself back and by continuing to try to reason with her and placate her in order to try to make things easier for her and to avoid a battle, I am only hindering her and making everyone miserable. </p><p></p><p>Mama Bear is back. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 173866"] So you guys tell me things and beat me over the head with it and finally one day I go, "Ohhhhhh!". Guess I know where my daughter gets her stubbornness. I'd been thinking about this since I posted - and a lot last night, especially - and imagine my surprise when I was chatting with MB tonight and she said it to me before I could say it to her: Somewhere along the way my daughter has come to the conclusion that she is my equal. Obviously, I have something to do with that. It wasn't intentional. It certainly wasn't always this way. But I've been sick for a long time and I often find myself just trying to get through the next mini-crisis or meltdown without thinking about the long term cost, Know what I mean?? Somewhere along the way I started walking on eggshells around my daughter. And I find myself wondering why. Yeah, I don't want the tension and the fallout, but not only will she get over it she also has to realize that you don't get away with this stuff in the real world. (Which, by the way, I'm certain she knows because she doesn't do this stuff with anyone but me and my mom.) And I am perfectly capable of not letting her mood effect mine. Afterall, one really can't makes us feel a certain way without our permission. So, if she gets mad or goes on about how I'm such a horrible mother, so be it. It's self-serving for her because it gets a reaction. It gets her something she wants. I know I've been all over the place on this thread. But, I really think it all boils down to how much control she thinks she has in the house. If that makes sense. Yes, she has issues that need addressed and yes she needs therapy and probably medications and yes life is going to be harder for her. But, she is the only one holding herself back and by continuing to try to reason with her and placate her in order to try to make things easier for her and to avoid a battle, I am only hindering her and making everyone miserable. Mama Bear is back. :happy: [/QUOTE]
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