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Buying cars for our difficult children...discussion
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 644368" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I'm glad I asked this question. It doesn't sound like too many parents are buying their kids cars, certainly not new cars.</p><p></p><p>I still think people appreciate stuff THEY buy over what they are given.</p><p></p><p>My parents let me use their old car. After I cracked it up, they fixed it and let me drive it again. I could barely drive and it was some sort of magical miracle I ever got my license. I wasn't ready, even though I was almost 18. I was the only one of my friends with free access to the car, however I did have to put in my own gas.</p><p></p><p>I was struggling with mental health issues and had serious trouble judging distance, as one of my many learning problems and should never have been on the road that often. And it was very uncharacteristic of my parents to give me anything. I was certainly not entitled. My theory is the car kept me out of the house, out of their hair, and they could have arguments without my begging them to stop and pointing out how bad it was for us to keep hearing the fights.</p><p></p><p>I shudder to think of my early days driving. I did not drink...ever....I did not do drugs. But I had serious problems figuring out how to drive well. Although I only had one accident, I dinged that car up so badly...couldn't judge where the gas pump was, for example. My parents never fixed those dings. I didn't care. They did pay for the insurance, but I was the second driver...my dad made a lot of money.</p><p></p><p>I guess my point is, it was crazy of my parents to let me have such access to their car. Not only did I go to places where I could have been arrested, even though *I* wasn't doing anything (the other kids and my friends were), but I was a horrible driver. I drove as poorly as one who drank or smoked pot.</p><p></p><p>I did eventually catch onto driving and have not had an accident since my first one, but I compensate by going slower and I did even as a teenager. My friends said I drove like a grandma...lol.</p><p></p><p>When I saw that my daughter was going to be a danger on the road, like I was, I took her off of it, at least from being on it in our vehicles. I remembered how perilous I had been behind a wheel and was not going to be responsible for her death or somebody else's because I wanted to shut her up so I gave her car access.</p><p></p><p>Let's face it, that is often why we do it, but there is a risk attached to that with any difficult child. They don't need to party every night or hang with their friends 24/7. A difficult child will not take good care of a car or be careful.</p><p></p><p>Jumper does have our second car for college. She has also been driving for two years without getting a ticket or even dinging up our car once time, she doesn't drink, smoke pot, or break the law. We feel safe letting her drive our vehicle. She doesn't even drive it that much though.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 644368, member: 1550"] I'm glad I asked this question. It doesn't sound like too many parents are buying their kids cars, certainly not new cars. I still think people appreciate stuff THEY buy over what they are given. My parents let me use their old car. After I cracked it up, they fixed it and let me drive it again. I could barely drive and it was some sort of magical miracle I ever got my license. I wasn't ready, even though I was almost 18. I was the only one of my friends with free access to the car, however I did have to put in my own gas. I was struggling with mental health issues and had serious trouble judging distance, as one of my many learning problems and should never have been on the road that often. And it was very uncharacteristic of my parents to give me anything. I was certainly not entitled. My theory is the car kept me out of the house, out of their hair, and they could have arguments without my begging them to stop and pointing out how bad it was for us to keep hearing the fights. I shudder to think of my early days driving. I did not drink...ever....I did not do drugs. But I had serious problems figuring out how to drive well. Although I only had one accident, I dinged that car up so badly...couldn't judge where the gas pump was, for example. My parents never fixed those dings. I didn't care. They did pay for the insurance, but I was the second driver...my dad made a lot of money. I guess my point is, it was crazy of my parents to let me have such access to their car. Not only did I go to places where I could have been arrested, even though *I* wasn't doing anything (the other kids and my friends were), but I was a horrible driver. I drove as poorly as one who drank or smoked pot. I did eventually catch onto driving and have not had an accident since my first one, but I compensate by going slower and I did even as a teenager. My friends said I drove like a grandma...lol. When I saw that my daughter was going to be a danger on the road, like I was, I took her off of it, at least from being on it in our vehicles. I remembered how perilous I had been behind a wheel and was not going to be responsible for her death or somebody else's because I wanted to shut her up so I gave her car access. Let's face it, that is often why we do it, but there is a risk attached to that with any difficult child. They don't need to party every night or hang with their friends 24/7. A difficult child will not take good care of a car or be careful. Jumper does have our second car for college. She has also been driving for two years without getting a ticket or even dinging up our car once time, she doesn't drink, smoke pot, or break the law. We feel safe letting her drive our vehicle. She doesn't even drive it that much though. [/QUOTE]
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