T
toughlovin
Guest
Hi all,
Well my son may not be currently using but he is still a difficult child!!! Although at least hanging up on me without saying anything abusive is an improvement over past behavior!!
So he called today to tell me his bike is s****. One wheel is broken (or something) and the tire is shot. Well first of all I had assumed he had sold the bike so it is good news if he still has it!! He says it is his mode of transportation and he rides it everywhere. That is good. But it is a lousy bike... the implication being we should get him a better bike!!! Man when I think he is getting humbler he shows how darned entitled he is!!
So I told him we were not spending a lot on a bike for him. That we may help him fix his bike but he needs to talk to someone to figure out how to do that. He hung up on me.
I called him back from the home phone cause I wasn't sure if he hung up on me or if it was the lousy cell service I have at home. I asked him if he hung up on me. He said yes... I said so do you want to talk or do you want to hang up. So we talked a little more. He said he thought that we would realize he had held on to the bike for a couple of months and so consider getting him a better bike. I basically said no at which point he said he thought Dad understood a need for a better bike better than I do. I asked him how the job search was going and he said he has some prospects. I said well you need to get a job and then you can get yourself a better bike! At which point he hung up on me again!
I called the sober house director and asked how he was doing. One thing I was wondering was if I was getting totally conned... you know he sold the bike and was now trying to make me believe he still had his bike so I would give him more money? I felt better after talking to him. Yes he does seem to have a bike. Yes he is so far testing clean. No he is not putting as much effort into finding a job as he should be.... he found him watching TV one day and told him his job right now is looking for a job.. he needs to be out looking from 9 to 4 each day. When he has a job then he can spend free time watching tv!!! Yes he is going to some meetings. No he really does not need a better bike, that one will do him fine. They work with a local bike shop and can help him get it fixed.
So that is where we are. It is so easy for me to go down the road of wanting to fix things... I think I did pretty well today putting it back on him though so I am improving.
TL
Well my son may not be currently using but he is still a difficult child!!! Although at least hanging up on me without saying anything abusive is an improvement over past behavior!!
So he called today to tell me his bike is s****. One wheel is broken (or something) and the tire is shot. Well first of all I had assumed he had sold the bike so it is good news if he still has it!! He says it is his mode of transportation and he rides it everywhere. That is good. But it is a lousy bike... the implication being we should get him a better bike!!! Man when I think he is getting humbler he shows how darned entitled he is!!
So I told him we were not spending a lot on a bike for him. That we may help him fix his bike but he needs to talk to someone to figure out how to do that. He hung up on me.
I called him back from the home phone cause I wasn't sure if he hung up on me or if it was the lousy cell service I have at home. I asked him if he hung up on me. He said yes... I said so do you want to talk or do you want to hang up. So we talked a little more. He said he thought that we would realize he had held on to the bike for a couple of months and so consider getting him a better bike. I basically said no at which point he said he thought Dad understood a need for a better bike better than I do. I asked him how the job search was going and he said he has some prospects. I said well you need to get a job and then you can get yourself a better bike! At which point he hung up on me again!
I called the sober house director and asked how he was doing. One thing I was wondering was if I was getting totally conned... you know he sold the bike and was now trying to make me believe he still had his bike so I would give him more money? I felt better after talking to him. Yes he does seem to have a bike. Yes he is so far testing clean. No he is not putting as much effort into finding a job as he should be.... he found him watching TV one day and told him his job right now is looking for a job.. he needs to be out looking from 9 to 4 each day. When he has a job then he can spend free time watching tv!!! Yes he is going to some meetings. No he really does not need a better bike, that one will do him fine. They work with a local bike shop and can help him get it fixed.
So that is where we are. It is so easy for me to go down the road of wanting to fix things... I think I did pretty well today putting it back on him though so I am improving.
TL
