Call from the psychiatric hospital....

[greenstockings]

I was at the gym today and my phone rang. I usually silence it but I forgot. It was a doctor from the local psychiatric hospital's ER. My son (22yo difficult child) went there for help today. We tossed him out a few days after Xmas. He spent a few days in another hospital's psychiatric ward, denying that anything was wrong. They discharged him and he's been couch-surfing for a couple of weeks, and spent last night in a homeless shelter downtown. I think it was a wake-up call.

Anyway, he's been admitted and will spend some time there, and will then enter a day program. We have agreed to let him come home and work on things, knowing fully well that it's going to take a lot of work and that he might backslide and end up tossed out again. But I do feel better knowing that he's attempting to get help for his anxiety and depression. He has a really hard time talking about his feelings, enough that the ER doctor was taken aback by it. My husband and I are hoping that this is a new start, but our expectations are low.

 

[helpangel]

There is comfort knowing that tonight he is off the street and getting the help that he needs, sending good thoughts your way

Nancy

 

[pasajes4]

I hope things improve for him.

 

[recoveringenabler]

I hope his recent "reality check" has given him reasons to change..........and that you and he can work out a plan which is a win/win. Sending good thoughts and wishing you peace of mind............(((HUGS))))

 

[Scent of Cedar *]

We tossed him out a few days after Xmas.

He spent a few days in another hospital's psychiatric ward

Anyway, he's been admitted and will spend some time there, and will then enter a day program.

We have agreed to let him come home and work on things, knowing fully well that it's going to take a lot of work and that he might backslide and end up tossed out again.

My husband and I are hoping that this is a new start, but our expectations are low.

I think this is the best outcome there could be, greensleeves. You have validation that your having made difficult child son leave was the right thing to do, and that your assessment of the situation was correct. difficult child son seems to have admitted where the problem is, and seems willing to comply with treatment recommendations.

I am glad you and husband are willing to take him back now that the nature of the problem has been identified and there is outside help available. Your son is still so young. It sounds like he is motivated now to do what he needs to do to manage himself and get better.

Have you identified support systems for yourself and husband as you all go through this time?

Your son has a chance now, greensleeves. It will be difficult, but it was difficult, already.

Wishing you well, sending such good thoughts for a successful outcome.

:O)

Cedar

 

[aud]

I sure hope and pray your son will start feeling better

Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app

 

[greenstockings]

So the doctors think he is bi-polar. That was touched upon back when he was 11 or 12 but any mania he had was so subtle that it was hard to tell. They have started him on Zyprexa and will be keeping him for awhile. We spent time with him in the ER, spoke to his doctor there at length. I went to visit him tonight and he seemed spacey, but he said he was just tired. He didn't sleep much at all at the shelter and is having trouble sleeping in the hospital because of noise. Other than that he seemed in decent spirits.

 

[recoveringenabler]

Well, maybe this will steer all of you onto a new track and get him the help he needs now. I hope the medications work, sometimes that makes all the difference. Keeping my fingers crossed for you..........keep us posted....

 

[Scent of Cedar *]

When things are so hard, it helps me to remember that whatever decision we make is not going to feel like much of a solution because the situations we find ourselves in with our difficult child kids are not easily resolvable. The only thing we can do (and you are doing that) is the best we know to do, today. I'm sorry to say so, but as your son is coming home after treatment...this might be the time to research where he is going to go if things do not work well. Though we want to be there for our kids, though we want to believe in them and etc...it is best to be prepared.

Sometimes, knowing we are strong enough to do what is required changes the dynamic just enough that what we hoped would be possible for our difficult child becomes the reality.

It helps to post about it, greenstockings. We are right here, to listen and to help clarify options if we can.

That's something good that's happened out of all this, right?

:O)

Cedar

 

[helpangel]

I'm glad to hear he is getting the help he needs, I've noticed with my girls whenever they start a new medication or increase dosage they are tired until their body adjusts to the change.

Nancy

 

[greenstockings]

My son has been home for a week now and is doing quite well. Better than he has been in many years. The Zyprexa wasn't really a good fit for him and also caused really bad restless arms and legs. They discontinued that medication and tried him on Lithium. He said by the second day of taking it, he felt so much better. Anxiety is gone by 90%. He has been pleasant and cooperative and motivated, which is amazing to me, because he's rarely ever been all three of those things at the same time!

 

[Scent of Cedar *]

I am so pleased and happy for you both!

Cedar

 

[recoveringenabler]

Greenstockings, thanks for the positive update..........we love to hear those....

 

[helpangel]

So glad to hear it, all those years of medication trials for Angel finally lithium was the medication that made the world of difference for her also.

Nancy

 

[Echolette]

Lithium (plus abilify) really works best for my difficult child as well...his docs wouuld never put him on it because of the narrow therapeutic window and his tendency to get lost to follow up...which of course is what happens. Still, if he takes it he is recognizably sane and realistic. I hope you have the same experience.

 

[Scent of Cedar *]

difficult child daughter is taking lithium....

Cedar

 

[greenstockings]

Raising my post from the dead.

I haven't been here in many months. Combination of difficult child son doing better, working crazy overtime because husband went back to school, and this forum is just so darned BUSY! I could get lost for hours in here if I allowed myself. Ain't nobody got time for that...not me, anyway.

difficult child ended up off the Lithium. Turns out he felt amazing just because they took him off the stuff that made him feel like crap. lol

He has been on a combo of Lexapro and Ritalin since April or so. He's been seeing a therapist weekly and a psychiatrist every couple of months or so. However, his initial motivation to find work waned seriously. He is not doing anything different than he has been for the past several years....he spends 99% of his time online. He doesn't just game, he researches and is teaching himself higher math. Watches Ted Talks and Youtube videos on current events and science. So it's not like his brain is just a marshmallow. BUT....he lacks any drive to set goals for himself or do anything out in the world. I know we've been enabling him. We're feeling beat up just getting through every day of our own lives.

Anyhow, difficult child went to a Halloween party the other night. He smoked some pot earlier in the evening and consumed a bit of alcohol. He knows he shouldn't be doing any of that with his medications. I got a call at 1am from my other son (he's three years younger) telling me that difficult child was trying to leave the party and people were concerned about his alcohol consumption. He wasn't falling-down drunk, but was definitely feeling a good buzz. When they tried to prevent him from leaving, he got out of the car and threatened someone with a 3" long pocketknife. Then he drove practically into a group of people on the way out.

His brother didn't actually see this happen, but there were 6-7 reliable people outside who gave the same story. difficult child doesn't deny any of it except for the knife part. He did say that they are "exaggerating" about him driving into the crowd. I told him I don't believe him about the knife. I also told him that he won't be using my car for pleasure anymore, which sucks for him because his weekly visits out to see his brother and their friends is really his only social life. His two best friends started dating each other and now he's the third wheel, plus he is half in love with one of them, anyway.

His behavior is frightening because it's so unpredictable. A couple of years ago he went missing for a whole weekend. Out of the blue. Seemed to be doing fine and completely stable, and then melts down and drives off to Maryland and back. Now this thing with the knife. He's never lashed out at other people before. I don't know what to make of it. Could be the chemical cocktail? Could be his mental health is deteriorating? I wrote an email to his therapist yesterday to let her know what's going on.

I'm looking into independent living programs around here, but I think that if any exist they are probably privately funded and we are barely making ends meet right now.

All I can say is...WTF.

 

[greenstockings]

I just want to add that I didn't mean this forum isn't worth putting time into. It most definitely is. I just don't have the time to sit at the computer for hours as of late.

 

[GuideMe]

Hi Greenstockings nice to meet you. That is pretty dangerous about the knife thing. The question is, was he doing it just to look like a tough guy or did he really want to take the knife out and threaten people, coming dangerously close to actually stabbing someone? However, how can you really know? Only he can. The fact that he pulled out a knife at a party is pretty scary. He seems like one of those people who gets high or drunk, they act really crazy. One guy I use to date, he was an absolute sane and nice person, really was, but when he drank, he was a crazy psychotic monster. He also one time got really drunk and drove straight into a crowd, except he hit five parked cars as I stood and watched in horror. So , while I was reading the story about your son, my ex crossed my mind. One of those people who are literally allergic to drugs or alcohol and makes them do crazy, crazy things. However, of course, I don't know you that well and first time seeing you, so take what I say with a grain of a salt if it doesn't apply.

 

[GuideMe]

Also, maybe give him a drug test and see if there was anything else in his system, such as benzo's. Benzo's (xanax, ambien, seroquel) are famous for making people do things they would never do.