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Call him out?
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 438820" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Well - that? WOULD NOT HAPPEN - because I'm a MAJOR boundary person. I used to be an "Oh it's okay use my whatever - I don't care....I'm a Mom, it's fine -----" person. </p><p></p><p>Then it got to the point with Dude, his friends, and everyone that ALL my stuff was being used - all the time. So THEN? When I would say something about it? You'd think I was a witch...and it came out like I was a major control freak or "THATS MINE' THATS MINE - NO THAT"S MINE - and NEVER SHARED. I mean even I got to the point where I couldn't stand to hear me say "THAT's MINE." lol </p><p></p><p>So in therapy I came out and said - HOW do you get people to stop using your stuff without coming across as a witch? And that's when I learned about boundaries. Boundaries about space, time, the words NO I CANT, No I won't NO I don't want to, NO I DO NOT LIKE THAT, NO YOU? Can do that yourself while I sit here because I've done my work - and not feel guilty, NO I will not do that for you. DO NOT TAKE MINE you have used yours. If you want one - USE YOURS. I mean it isn't what you say it's learning HOW you say it. (Effective communication) and that part of it is AWESOME - It takes time. </p><p></p><p>As far as the coolers? Mine would be locked up. The next time he needed beer and a cooler? he'd HAVE to clean his up. And as far as cleaning it up? Oh boy - would that last more than a day? Noooooooo. Beer in the yard is a HUGE peeve of mine. Shooting bottles with a Henry? Now THAT? Is a lot of FUN! But you have to have a horse, and a Golden boy - Know what I mean??</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 438820, member: 4964"] Well - that? WOULD NOT HAPPEN - because I'm a MAJOR boundary person. I used to be an "Oh it's okay use my whatever - I don't care....I'm a Mom, it's fine -----" person. Then it got to the point with Dude, his friends, and everyone that ALL my stuff was being used - all the time. So THEN? When I would say something about it? You'd think I was a witch...and it came out like I was a major control freak or "THATS MINE' THATS MINE - NO THAT"S MINE - and NEVER SHARED. I mean even I got to the point where I couldn't stand to hear me say "THAT's MINE." lol So in therapy I came out and said - HOW do you get people to stop using your stuff without coming across as a witch? And that's when I learned about boundaries. Boundaries about space, time, the words NO I CANT, No I won't NO I don't want to, NO I DO NOT LIKE THAT, NO YOU? Can do that yourself while I sit here because I've done my work - and not feel guilty, NO I will not do that for you. DO NOT TAKE MINE you have used yours. If you want one - USE YOURS. I mean it isn't what you say it's learning HOW you say it. (Effective communication) and that part of it is AWESOME - It takes time. As far as the coolers? Mine would be locked up. The next time he needed beer and a cooler? he'd HAVE to clean his up. And as far as cleaning it up? Oh boy - would that last more than a day? Noooooooo. Beer in the yard is a HUGE peeve of mine. Shooting bottles with a Henry? Now THAT? Is a lot of FUN! But you have to have a horse, and a Golden boy - Know what I mean?? [/QUOTE]
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