Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Calling psychiatrist about husband
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="seriously" data-source="post: 450692" data-attributes="member: 11920"><p>One of the consequences of living in California is that it is a community property state. </p><p></p><p>The implications of this for married couples (and registered domestic partners too) is that half of his is yours and vice versa. Unless it meets the test for separate property - which would be property acquired before marriage, social security income from work prior to marriage, and income from separate property acquired before marriage.</p><p></p><p>Otherwise - it's shared whether you want it that way or not. I believe that it may be possible to draw up a legal agreement that makes some income or assets separate but I am not a lawyer and have not consulted one on this issue.</p><p></p><p>One of the potential downsides to this is that half of any debts he incurs *may*also be yours. There are always exceptions of course but it's another reason to limit his ability to charge or acquire unmanageable debt.</p><p></p><p>I don't know if you are familiar with bills.com but it has some very helpful and reliable articles and financial tools covering a wide variety of financial topics. It IS a commercial website and it makes money by referring visitors to resources like lenders and debt relief counseling companies but you have to take the initiative to fill out a form asking to be referred - they don't just pass on your information because you stopped by to read an article.</p><p></p><p><a href="http://www.bills.com/credit-card-debt-and-community-property-law/" target="_blank">http://www.bills.com/credit-card-debt-and-community-property-law/</a></p><p></p><p>And here's a link to a list of 12 step programs for various issues including gambling and spending.</p><p></p><p><a href="http://www.consumercredit.com/helpfullinks.htm" target="_blank">http://www.consumercredit.com/helpfullinks.htm</a></p><p></p><p>I totally agree that getting his mental illness accurately diagnosed and appropriate treatment begun is very important. Realistically, we both know that just getting an accurate diagnosis doesn't ensure that the problems will respond quickly or well to drug treatment. And the problem behaviors developed over a lifetime of "self-medicating" (in this case gambling and spending) don't just go away because the underlying mental illness has been successfully treated. It does make it easier to confront and change those behaviors - but that does require acknowledgement that there's a problem and commitment to change the behaviors. That can be very, very hard - speaking from personal experience here.</p><p></p><p>Hope this has been the wakeup call husband needs.</p><p></p><p>I think it would not be unreasonable for you to set some "house rules" about his spending time with the family every day rather than completely withdrawing. Just a thought.</p><p></p><p>Hugs</p><p><a href="http://www.consumercredit.com/helpfullinks.htm" target="_blank">http://www.consumercredit.com/helpfullinks.htm</a></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="seriously, post: 450692, member: 11920"] One of the consequences of living in California is that it is a community property state. The implications of this for married couples (and registered domestic partners too) is that half of his is yours and vice versa. Unless it meets the test for separate property - which would be property acquired before marriage, social security income from work prior to marriage, and income from separate property acquired before marriage. Otherwise - it's shared whether you want it that way or not. I believe that it may be possible to draw up a legal agreement that makes some income or assets separate but I am not a lawyer and have not consulted one on this issue. One of the potential downsides to this is that half of any debts he incurs *may*also be yours. There are always exceptions of course but it's another reason to limit his ability to charge or acquire unmanageable debt. I don't know if you are familiar with bills.com but it has some very helpful and reliable articles and financial tools covering a wide variety of financial topics. It IS a commercial website and it makes money by referring visitors to resources like lenders and debt relief counseling companies but you have to take the initiative to fill out a form asking to be referred - they don't just pass on your information because you stopped by to read an article. [url]http://www.bills.com/credit-card-debt-and-community-property-law/[/url] And here's a link to a list of 12 step programs for various issues including gambling and spending. [url]http://www.consumercredit.com/helpfullinks.htm[/url] I totally agree that getting his mental illness accurately diagnosed and appropriate treatment begun is very important. Realistically, we both know that just getting an accurate diagnosis doesn't ensure that the problems will respond quickly or well to drug treatment. And the problem behaviors developed over a lifetime of "self-medicating" (in this case gambling and spending) don't just go away because the underlying mental illness has been successfully treated. It does make it easier to confront and change those behaviors - but that does require acknowledgement that there's a problem and commitment to change the behaviors. That can be very, very hard - speaking from personal experience here. Hope this has been the wakeup call husband needs. I think it would not be unreasonable for you to set some "house rules" about his spending time with the family every day rather than completely withdrawing. Just a thought. Hugs [URL="http://www.consumercredit.com/helpfullinks.htm"][/URL] [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Calling psychiatrist about husband
Top