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General Parenting
Can I discipline my 20 year old daughter if i support her?
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<blockquote data-quote="allhaileris" data-source="post: 541415" data-attributes="member: 5663"><p>OMG don't cancel the card! It'll affect your credit score. Just call them up and tell them you lost it, need it replaced and get the replacement with only your name.</p><p></p><p>Then, if you still want to help her out, put money into an account for her, give her an allowance so to speak. If she spends it on stupid stuff, then she walks to school or starves. She'll learn how to budget better if you give her limits. She has no limit right now. </p><p></p><p>Does she have a job? You indicate she has her own money, but I don't see a job mentioned. I totally get the theory that she's a student and that's her job, I'm just wondering where her money is coming from. </p><p></p><p>Punishing her? Oh please. She's an adult. Do you remember when you were 20? I sure do. I was going to college and living at my mom's, but also had a couple part time jobs. I didn't tell her what I was up to most of the time, but also didn't get supported with extra money because my family didn't have it. If you treat her like a child she's going to keep acting like that. This is the time in her life that she's allowed to be irresponsible and live it up. She's out doing things you don't really want to know about, but this is the time she needs to do them, learn from them, mess up and pick herself back up or whatever.</p><p></p><p>You enabled her by giving her the card to begin with. Change the number, give her a paycheck for her "job" and let her budget her own money. Then, let her do her own thing. Don't worry about her when she gets home late or not at all. She'll figure it out, but needs the opportunity to do so. Who knows, maybe she'll get a student loan and/or a job, move out and become the adult you want her to be.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="allhaileris, post: 541415, member: 5663"] OMG don't cancel the card! It'll affect your credit score. Just call them up and tell them you lost it, need it replaced and get the replacement with only your name. Then, if you still want to help her out, put money into an account for her, give her an allowance so to speak. If she spends it on stupid stuff, then she walks to school or starves. She'll learn how to budget better if you give her limits. She has no limit right now. Does she have a job? You indicate she has her own money, but I don't see a job mentioned. I totally get the theory that she's a student and that's her job, I'm just wondering where her money is coming from. Punishing her? Oh please. She's an adult. Do you remember when you were 20? I sure do. I was going to college and living at my mom's, but also had a couple part time jobs. I didn't tell her what I was up to most of the time, but also didn't get supported with extra money because my family didn't have it. If you treat her like a child she's going to keep acting like that. This is the time in her life that she's allowed to be irresponsible and live it up. She's out doing things you don't really want to know about, but this is the time she needs to do them, learn from them, mess up and pick herself back up or whatever. You enabled her by giving her the card to begin with. Change the number, give her a paycheck for her "job" and let her budget her own money. Then, let her do her own thing. Don't worry about her when she gets home late or not at all. She'll figure it out, but needs the opportunity to do so. Who knows, maybe she'll get a student loan and/or a job, move out and become the adult you want her to be. [/QUOTE]
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Can I discipline my 20 year old daughter if i support her?
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