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Can I just say...
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<blockquote data-quote="Steely" data-source="post: 210219" data-attributes="member: 3301"><p><strong>I HATE IT TOO!!!!</strong></p><p></p><p>After being in Idaho and seeing how mentally ill difficult child truly was there in phoshp - and then literally having to leave him there, crying, and fly 2000 miles home - my entire world changed.</p><p></p><p>I suddenly got it. And it was like a ten thousand brick falling on my head. Matthew is sick, and off and on, his whole life he will display symptoms of this sickness.</p><p></p><p>I walked away from that phosph in Idaho feeling like I had just sent my child to war. Of course not the war in Iraq, but rather the war he will face every day with his mental illness for the rest of real life.</p><p></p><p>I may never hear from him again, he may become even more damaged, he might transform into the soldier and man I know he can be.</p><p>Regardless he is not mine to hold onto anymore and protect - he now has to be the one who learns how to manage his illness, medication, and life on his own. </p><p></p><p>It is so breathtakingly scary and sad that I still have yet to really post about any of it (until now).</p><p>I never ever wanted this for my son! I never wanted to see my 18 yo on his knees in mental agony.</p><p></p><p>I gotta do now, cuz this is not a good thing to think about before work.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Steely, post: 210219, member: 3301"] [B]I HATE IT TOO!!!![/B] After being in Idaho and seeing how mentally ill difficult child truly was there in phoshp - and then literally having to leave him there, crying, and fly 2000 miles home - my entire world changed. I suddenly got it. And it was like a ten thousand brick falling on my head. Matthew is sick, and off and on, his whole life he will display symptoms of this sickness. I walked away from that phosph in Idaho feeling like I had just sent my child to war. Of course not the war in Iraq, but rather the war he will face every day with his mental illness for the rest of real life. I may never hear from him again, he may become even more damaged, he might transform into the soldier and man I know he can be. Regardless he is not mine to hold onto anymore and protect - he now has to be the one who learns how to manage his illness, medication, and life on his own. It is so breathtakingly scary and sad that I still have yet to really post about any of it (until now). I never ever wanted this for my son! I never wanted to see my 18 yo on his knees in mental agony. I gotta do now, cuz this is not a good thing to think about before work. [/QUOTE]
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