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Can I Quit Now ?
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<blockquote data-quote="P-nut2004" data-source="post: 428799" data-attributes="member: 11740"><p>I try to quit on a regular basis LoL I will proclaim "I quit" or "I'm on strike" and I'll wait a while to see if husband picks up the slack but he just tells me I can't quit because he can't afford to replace me. No one in their right mind (this is the key lol) would work full time and be on call 24hrs a day taking care of 3 kids, one of whom is psycho and a constant handful, with only room & board as pay. So I guess that actually makes us indentured servants who will earn our freedom when the last kid turns 18 *sigh* that's 11 more years for me. </p><p></p><p>As for behavior contracts & the dreaded behavior charts, my difficult child 'L' is only 7 so we're on a different level but some of her behaviors are the same. She has a goal chart with 5 goals a day, she gets a star for each goal she makes and each star is worth a quarter which if she behaved perfectly would be about $9 a week. She is really enjoying earning money which husband & I agreed we can't be too fussy about how she spends it or it'll ruin the plan The older two are difficult child-ish but have really taken to this plan fairly well, they want their spending money so most days they do their chores with little fuss, although they have both lost money for forgetting homework or copping an attitude. I sat down with both of them and let them help make their 'rules' to abide by and then we posted them along with a chore schedule. They start off with $10 a week and lose money if they don't do their chores or if they break the agreed upon rules. So far this has worked better than anything else we've tried but neither of them are ODD just ADHD with tween attitudes & mood swings. Bottom line here is that everything we tried before was about laying out consequences and punishments but turning it around and making it about rewarding them for NOT doing these things is working.</p><p></p><p>Clearly your difficult child is older and therefor causing more serious issues but maybe some version of this would work? If she is so concerned about having possessions & shopping etc maybe refusing to buy or pay for anything but allowing her to earn the money to pay her own way would help some. It may not always get her to do the dishes but maybe she would be of some help when she really wants money for something? Just an idea, I know it sounds like bribery to pay her to behave but it may teach her some responsibility if having her own money motivates her.</p><p></p><p>((HUGS)) Look at it this way, atleast you only have two years left LoL Im dreading L at that age, it's all I can do to keep her under control as a 40lb 7yr old.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="P-nut2004, post: 428799, member: 11740"] I try to quit on a regular basis LoL I will proclaim "I quit" or "I'm on strike" and I'll wait a while to see if husband picks up the slack but he just tells me I can't quit because he can't afford to replace me. No one in their right mind (this is the key lol) would work full time and be on call 24hrs a day taking care of 3 kids, one of whom is psycho and a constant handful, with only room & board as pay. So I guess that actually makes us indentured servants who will earn our freedom when the last kid turns 18 *sigh* that's 11 more years for me. As for behavior contracts & the dreaded behavior charts, my difficult child 'L' is only 7 so we're on a different level but some of her behaviors are the same. She has a goal chart with 5 goals a day, she gets a star for each goal she makes and each star is worth a quarter which if she behaved perfectly would be about $9 a week. She is really enjoying earning money which husband & I agreed we can't be too fussy about how she spends it or it'll ruin the plan The older two are difficult child-ish but have really taken to this plan fairly well, they want their spending money so most days they do their chores with little fuss, although they have both lost money for forgetting homework or copping an attitude. I sat down with both of them and let them help make their 'rules' to abide by and then we posted them along with a chore schedule. They start off with $10 a week and lose money if they don't do their chores or if they break the agreed upon rules. So far this has worked better than anything else we've tried but neither of them are ODD just ADHD with tween attitudes & mood swings. Bottom line here is that everything we tried before was about laying out consequences and punishments but turning it around and making it about rewarding them for NOT doing these things is working. Clearly your difficult child is older and therefor causing more serious issues but maybe some version of this would work? If she is so concerned about having possessions & shopping etc maybe refusing to buy or pay for anything but allowing her to earn the money to pay her own way would help some. It may not always get her to do the dishes but maybe she would be of some help when she really wants money for something? Just an idea, I know it sounds like bribery to pay her to behave but it may teach her some responsibility if having her own money motivates her. ((HUGS)) Look at it this way, atleast you only have two years left LoL Im dreading L at that age, it's all I can do to keep her under control as a 40lb 7yr old. [/QUOTE]
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