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Substance Abuse
Can I trust her when she says she wants to change?
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<blockquote data-quote="SadFlower" data-source="post: 673831" data-attributes="member: 19741"><p>Hi,</p><p></p><p>An update: daughter eventually calmed down and was very normal, sweet self for the rest of the evening. I think she is extremely stressed out by the situation and confused. When I talked to her, I got the impression that she, too, doesn't really know why she does the things she does... she said that she is ashamed of herself and that she wants to change but then she gets these thought about it doesn't really matter anyway. I know that despite everything she's trying to hang in there.</p><p></p><p>I'm taking a day off in order to stay here with her. And I'm going to call that program to schedule an intake.... I really, really hope that they'll say her problems are not severe enough for their program... I don't know whether I'm underestimating the situation or not. I don't really know if she's actually an addict or just a casual user, hoping she's the latter. She's not as out of control as she could have been.</p><p></p><p>Daughter was bullied not so much about her race, more about being Kazakh (stupid kids thought that Kazakhstan = Afghanistan; daughter constantly gets asked why she doesn't cover her head and whether she support Bin Laden). We talked to the school and they talked to the kids but nothing much has changed. Daughter is still extremely angry at the guidance counselor who, after she got into a fight with two other girls, told daughter: "they said they're sorry, what else can I do." I'd get her out of that school right now if i could. </p><p></p><p>The only positive friends she has right now are those she's met through internet forums - mainly girls around her age who like the same Korean boy bands she likes. It makes me sad that these more positive friendship are only online. I keep reminding myself that she will need to do the hard work herself, both on the issue of drugs and on the issue of finding nicer friends who will lift her up rather than drag her down. It is ultimately her decision. I take comfort in the fact that daughter is extremely stubborn and that when she puts her mind to something, she goes all the way. Once she seriously decides to change, she will succeed.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SadFlower, post: 673831, member: 19741"] Hi, An update: daughter eventually calmed down and was very normal, sweet self for the rest of the evening. I think she is extremely stressed out by the situation and confused. When I talked to her, I got the impression that she, too, doesn't really know why she does the things she does... she said that she is ashamed of herself and that she wants to change but then she gets these thought about it doesn't really matter anyway. I know that despite everything she's trying to hang in there. I'm taking a day off in order to stay here with her. And I'm going to call that program to schedule an intake.... I really, really hope that they'll say her problems are not severe enough for their program... I don't know whether I'm underestimating the situation or not. I don't really know if she's actually an addict or just a casual user, hoping she's the latter. She's not as out of control as she could have been. Daughter was bullied not so much about her race, more about being Kazakh (stupid kids thought that Kazakhstan = Afghanistan; daughter constantly gets asked why she doesn't cover her head and whether she support Bin Laden). We talked to the school and they talked to the kids but nothing much has changed. Daughter is still extremely angry at the guidance counselor who, after she got into a fight with two other girls, told daughter: "they said they're sorry, what else can I do." I'd get her out of that school right now if i could. The only positive friends she has right now are those she's met through internet forums - mainly girls around her age who like the same Korean boy bands she likes. It makes me sad that these more positive friendship are only online. I keep reminding myself that she will need to do the hard work herself, both on the issue of drugs and on the issue of finding nicer friends who will lift her up rather than drag her down. It is ultimately her decision. I take comfort in the fact that daughter is extremely stubborn and that when she puts her mind to something, she goes all the way. Once she seriously decides to change, she will succeed. [/QUOTE]
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Can I trust her when she says she wants to change?
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