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General Parenting
Can problem solving be learned?
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 342534" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>My basic answer to you question is yes. However I am going to qualify it in a minute.</p><p></p><p>Has anyone seen the commercial for having kids in the right order? I think it is hilarious and so dead on the right mark. However, difficult child's probably cant even take in the message until they are well past the point they do what the message says.</p><p></p><p>It goes like this.</p><p></p><p>The boy pours milk all over the counter. (A little pop up over the counter says: Have Kids.)</p><p></p><p>The boy cuts strawberry's over the milk. (pop up says: grow up)</p><p></p><p>The boy gets out cereal. (pop up says: meet a nice girl you want to marry.)</p><p></p><p>The boy gets bowl. (pop up says decide to have kids)</p><p></p><p>Of course, what is left on the counter is an utter mess he cant eat.</p><p></p><p>The ad cuts away and puts all these messages in order</p><p></p><p>Grow up</p><p>meet a nice girl</p><p>decide to have kids</p><p>have kids</p><p></p><p>its all in the timing.</p><p></p><p>I think that so describes our kids. Its all in the timing.</p><p></p><p>Cory had and still does have some horrible problem solving skills to a degree. He panics over things when they dont go his way RIGHT THIS SECOND. But he is getting better about it. It used to be he couldnt do it at all. I was supposed to do all his problem solving. </p><p></p><p>Cory is learning more and more how to do it now that he is out. Now that I wont rush to his rescue and I place more and more stuff right back on his shoulders. It is hard for me because I find myself wanting to jump in but I stop and say NO, he has to do it because he has to learn. Sometimes I will give him pointers like who he needs to call. After that, he is on his own. If he doesnt get to point C after I tell him...oh well. Like recently he lost his wallet and he needed to know who to call. I told him medicare his social security and medicaid is social services. I wasnt calling them for him. He did it for himself and called me back to tell me how long each would take. One more step forward. Next time I wont even tell him who is who. </p><p></p><p>I think thank you can learn these steps. He will learn these steps as he is on his own. You may not be seeing them on a day to day basis but he is problem solving in one form or another because he is getting from one place to another. I guess he is still with girlfriend and staying at her house? That is solving a problem. Not sure exactly what else he is doing but whatever it is, he is doing something in his day that is serving some need of his that is solving his needs. Not your needs or your wants for him but its getting him by. One day hopefully he will want to comply with what you want for him but until then, he will problem solve for how he wants to live.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 342534, member: 1514"] My basic answer to you question is yes. However I am going to qualify it in a minute. Has anyone seen the commercial for having kids in the right order? I think it is hilarious and so dead on the right mark. However, difficult child's probably cant even take in the message until they are well past the point they do what the message says. It goes like this. The boy pours milk all over the counter. (A little pop up over the counter says: Have Kids.) The boy cuts strawberry's over the milk. (pop up says: grow up) The boy gets out cereal. (pop up says: meet a nice girl you want to marry.) The boy gets bowl. (pop up says decide to have kids) Of course, what is left on the counter is an utter mess he cant eat. The ad cuts away and puts all these messages in order Grow up meet a nice girl decide to have kids have kids its all in the timing. I think that so describes our kids. Its all in the timing. Cory had and still does have some horrible problem solving skills to a degree. He panics over things when they dont go his way RIGHT THIS SECOND. But he is getting better about it. It used to be he couldnt do it at all. I was supposed to do all his problem solving. Cory is learning more and more how to do it now that he is out. Now that I wont rush to his rescue and I place more and more stuff right back on his shoulders. It is hard for me because I find myself wanting to jump in but I stop and say NO, he has to do it because he has to learn. Sometimes I will give him pointers like who he needs to call. After that, he is on his own. If he doesnt get to point C after I tell him...oh well. Like recently he lost his wallet and he needed to know who to call. I told him medicare his social security and medicaid is social services. I wasnt calling them for him. He did it for himself and called me back to tell me how long each would take. One more step forward. Next time I wont even tell him who is who. I think thank you can learn these steps. He will learn these steps as he is on his own. You may not be seeing them on a day to day basis but he is problem solving in one form or another because he is getting from one place to another. I guess he is still with girlfriend and staying at her house? That is solving a problem. Not sure exactly what else he is doing but whatever it is, he is doing something in his day that is serving some need of his that is solving his needs. Not your needs or your wants for him but its getting him by. One day hopefully he will want to comply with what you want for him but until then, he will problem solve for how he wants to live. [/QUOTE]
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