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<blockquote data-quote="Californiablonde" data-source="post: 598803" data-attributes="member: 2196"><p>I also have a twelve year old son on the spectrum and I deal with some of the behaviors that you are describing. Lucky for me easy child/difficult child doesn't have many meltdowns, maybe a few times a year, but when he does it gets ugly. His triggers are almost almost always technology related. If something breaks or it freezes look out cause all h-ll breaks loose. One time he broke down cause I told him we couldn't have his birthday party till a few days after his actual birthday. He flipped out and started trashing our whole apartment. I tried to appease him and tell him we would still be having a wonderful party for him, but he wouldn't stop for several hours. I finally caved in and made the party for an earlier date. His dad was so mad at me for giving in, but he wasn't there for the tantrum and he didn't know how hard it was for me to contain him. So most people would say I'm a terrible mother who gave into her son but I did what I had to do at the time to survive.</p><p></p><p> He will throw things, rip up papers, slam doors, scream, kick in walls, and sometimes even cry. When he is in meltdown mode nothing I say or do stops him. He has to work it out on his own, usually with me following him from room to room to make sure he doesn't break anything. I won't medicate him either. He takes Focalin during school for his ADHD, but I don't feel it's necessary for him to take another medication for a few little meltdowns a year. I get your hesitancy with not wanting him on more medications, but if it ever comes to that point try not to feel too bad about it. My older child's psychiatrist recommended a fast acting Risperdal tablet that you put under the tongue for big rages. It is quick acting and usually calms them down within minutes. I haven't tried it yet but I know it's an option. The side effects are fewer than the regular pills because you only give it as needed. So maybe that's an option for you if you feel it's needed at some point. I agree with InsaneCdn about the structure. </p><p></p><p>Most kids need structure anyway but with an Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kid it's a must. They thrive on structure. My son does better when he's in daycare and at school because the day is very structured and he relies on timing everything. I used to get him to before school daycare at the same time everyday. One day I had to take him late because of an appointment I had before hand. He flipped out on me. I always got him there at 6:45 and one day I couldn't take him until 7:15. He freaked out because he said I ruined his day by not getting there at the same time we always did. And if he's late for school it's the end of the world for him. He cannot be late or he freaks. That's something that will definitely work in his favor as he gets older because I guarantee you once he gets a job he will always be right on time. During the summer I do my best to keep his time structured. Lunch at the same time, going pool to swim at the same time, showers, etc. For my easy child and his peace of mind it is a must. Is your son also in therapy? Forgive me if I missed it because I haven't read all the responses. My son is in a social skills group at school and he has a speech therapist working with him one on one. It really seems to be helping. I would use the school resources as much as possible for your son. Good luck to you and I hope some of this helps.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Californiablonde, post: 598803, member: 2196"] I also have a twelve year old son on the spectrum and I deal with some of the behaviors that you are describing. Lucky for me easy child/difficult child doesn't have many meltdowns, maybe a few times a year, but when he does it gets ugly. His triggers are almost almost always technology related. If something breaks or it freezes look out cause all h-ll breaks loose. One time he broke down cause I told him we couldn't have his birthday party till a few days after his actual birthday. He flipped out and started trashing our whole apartment. I tried to appease him and tell him we would still be having a wonderful party for him, but he wouldn't stop for several hours. I finally caved in and made the party for an earlier date. His dad was so mad at me for giving in, but he wasn't there for the tantrum and he didn't know how hard it was for me to contain him. So most people would say I'm a terrible mother who gave into her son but I did what I had to do at the time to survive. He will throw things, rip up papers, slam doors, scream, kick in walls, and sometimes even cry. When he is in meltdown mode nothing I say or do stops him. He has to work it out on his own, usually with me following him from room to room to make sure he doesn't break anything. I won't medicate him either. He takes Focalin during school for his ADHD, but I don't feel it's necessary for him to take another medication for a few little meltdowns a year. I get your hesitancy with not wanting him on more medications, but if it ever comes to that point try not to feel too bad about it. My older child's psychiatrist recommended a fast acting Risperdal tablet that you put under the tongue for big rages. It is quick acting and usually calms them down within minutes. I haven't tried it yet but I know it's an option. The side effects are fewer than the regular pills because you only give it as needed. So maybe that's an option for you if you feel it's needed at some point. I agree with InsaneCdn about the structure. Most kids need structure anyway but with an Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kid it's a must. They thrive on structure. My son does better when he's in daycare and at school because the day is very structured and he relies on timing everything. I used to get him to before school daycare at the same time everyday. One day I had to take him late because of an appointment I had before hand. He flipped out on me. I always got him there at 6:45 and one day I couldn't take him until 7:15. He freaked out because he said I ruined his day by not getting there at the same time we always did. And if he's late for school it's the end of the world for him. He cannot be late or he freaks. That's something that will definitely work in his favor as he gets older because I guarantee you once he gets a job he will always be right on time. During the summer I do my best to keep his time structured. Lunch at the same time, going pool to swim at the same time, showers, etc. For my easy child and his peace of mind it is a must. Is your son also in therapy? Forgive me if I missed it because I haven't read all the responses. My son is in a social skills group at school and he has a speech therapist working with him one on one. It really seems to be helping. I would use the school resources as much as possible for your son. Good luck to you and I hope some of this helps. [/QUOTE]
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