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Parent Emeritus
Can we still judge as parents of a difficult child?
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 152134" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>Steely, I understand your point and value your opinion. I'm sure I am not always as sensitive as I could be, but I really try to balance my honesty with temperance. Sometimes, it is very difficult. </p><p></p><p>I have to agree with MB and Suz. It is and should be a soft place to land. But not soft forever. Because you posted on PE, I read this as talking about adult kids, not small children. Eventually we have to tell our adult kids that we can't decide for them, and they are making their own choices and suffering their own consequences. They can make better choices and have welcome consequences. </p><p></p><p>When parents of adult difficult child's keep making the same mistakes over again, I think we have to point that out as well. Otherwise it feels like we're being taken advantage of. To paraphrase MB, I get enough "I ignored what you said and now I'm unhappy again and you have to listen to me" from the kids. This shouldn't be only a soft place to land, it should also be a comfortable place to stay.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 152134, member: 99"] Steely, I understand your point and value your opinion. I'm sure I am not always as sensitive as I could be, but I really try to balance my honesty with temperance. Sometimes, it is very difficult. I have to agree with MB and Suz. It is and should be a soft place to land. But not soft forever. Because you posted on PE, I read this as talking about adult kids, not small children. Eventually we have to tell our adult kids that we can't decide for them, and they are making their own choices and suffering their own consequences. They can make better choices and have welcome consequences. When parents of adult difficult child's keep making the same mistakes over again, I think we have to point that out as well. Otherwise it feels like we're being taken advantage of. To paraphrase MB, I get enough "I ignored what you said and now I'm unhappy again and you have to listen to me" from the kids. This shouldn't be only a soft place to land, it should also be a comfortable place to stay. [/QUOTE]
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Can we still judge as parents of a difficult child?
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